How soon is too soon?

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  • engineman312
    engineman312 Posts: 3,450 Member
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    don't get snippy. you asked for personal advice on the internet, without giving all the information in the original post. if you can't take any and all advice, don't post a question like that.
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
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    don't get snippy. you asked for personal advice on the internet, without giving all the information in the original post. if you can't take any and all advice, don't post a question like that.

    O.O I wasn't being snippy, sorry if it was taken that way... I was simply stating that it wasn't true, and that they shouldn't assume.

    Once again, I apologize if it was taken that way... Don't hate me, I like you D:
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
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    don't get snippy. you asked for personal advice on the internet, without giving all the information in the original post. if you can't take any and all advice, don't post a question like that.

    Oh, and it wasn't aimed at you if that's what you're thinking. You're right, I SHOULD stop worrying about him, but that's easier said than done.
  • elliecolorado
    elliecolorado Posts: 1,040
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    In my opinion, I think you should take interest in other guys when you feel ready emotionally. Give yourself more time if you think you need it. :) I hope things get better

    I'm also worried about him though :/ what if I'm ready in a month, but he finds out and is hurt by it?

    But thank you :) This is quite logical actually haha

    you guys broke up. stop worrying.

    Yeah, if you're still thinking about him, maybe you shouldn't have broken up... if it's for real, you wouldn't care about his feelings.

    Just because you think about someone who you have been with for a substantial amount of time doesn't mean that you shouldn't have broken up. I was with my ex for 2.5 years and we broke up 8 months ago and I still think about him, but it is definitely in both of our best interests not to be together.

    But as far as when is it too soon? I guess it depends on what you are looking for. I went on my first 'date' after my last serious relationship ended less than 24 hours after we broke up. I had fun for a while and enjoyed my rebound fling, but that's all it was. Now 8 months later I'm still not looking for anything serious, but I have casually dated a few guys, I go out and flirt and have fun.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
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    It was mutual, we decided it would never work and would probably never go anywhere. We were kind of star-crossed, I think. We are so different, but we loved eachother so much. We didn't get along often, and he couldn't understand why i needed the things I did.

    In the end it just boiled down to how different we are. Plus, he's away to college as am I- this is a big part of our lives. We can't hold ourselves back because of a high school sweetheart.
    There's no set time period to wait after breaking up with someone; it's individual for everyone. Given your situation, my advice would be to wait until you feel you're ready. In other words, you don't need to go "looking for love" but don't close the door in the face of the cute guy who hits on you in the grocery line, either. I wouldn't look for anything serious, but if something comes along, have fun with it. Definitely do not worry about "hurting his feelings". You made a mutual decision to break up. I'm sure he's moving on with his life and you need to move on with yours.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    As the words of the great Garth Algar state: Get over it. Go out with somebody else.
  • elliecolorado
    elliecolorado Posts: 1,040
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    As the words of the great Garth Algar state: Get over it. Go out with somebody else.

    Reminds me of what one of my friends told me after my last break up "The best way to get over a man is to get under another" (or something like that, not sure of the exact wording).
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
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    Done is done - only dogs go back to their own vomit. Nothing wrong with rebound guys - everybody rebounds with someone. Here's a thought, don't get into another serious relationship right away - just date different people - go to new places & do new things - have FUN!
    and DON'T live your life around HIS feelings - he is no longer a factor. Please yourself.

    +1
  • Moofey
    Moofey Posts: 444
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    Love this quote-

    The more I learn about men, the more I admire dogs. :) (Break up quotes rock!)
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    As the words of the great Garth Algar state: Get over it. Go out with somebody else.

    Reminds me of what one of my friends told me after my last break up "The best way to get over a man is to get under another" (or something like that, not sure of the exact wording).

    Absolutely!
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
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    don't get snippy. you asked for personal advice on the internet, without giving all the information in the original post. if you can't take any and all advice, don't post a question like that.

    That was HARDLY advice!!
  • Moofey
    Moofey Posts: 444
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    don't get snippy. you asked for personal advice on the internet, without giving all the information in the original post. if you can't take any and all advice, don't post a question like that.

    That was HARDLY advice!!

    I again can say I agree!
  • KayteeBear
    KayteeBear Posts: 1,040 Member
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    Depends on you. First off, don't worry about him. It's up to YOU when you're ready. I usually say at least a little while alone is nice to get used to being on your own. But it's up to you I guess.

    A really good friend of mine just got out of a year long relationship and within a week she's with another guy...but the first guy treated her like crap and I think she was "over" him before they broke up so she had more time to move on and this guy she's known for a while and he treats her well...but honestly... I think it's too long and he might end up as a rebound for her...but it's her life.

    Just as it's your life to choose when you want to date again...
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    My boyfriend and I of three years just broke up 10 days ago, and I was just wondering how long I should wait before I take an interest in other guys? I'm not saying I want to go on dates, or even have a relationship- I just feel really guilty for even looking at other guys at the moment. Will that go away?
    I don't understand why you are asking this question. You have already taken interest in another guy and posted about it here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/337254-question-about-how-guys-work

    And that thread was started almost an hour before this one.

    I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong. You broke up with your boyfriend - go have fun, be careful, don't get all infatuated right away, etc. But I am saying that (according to your post) you are taking an interest in someone else, then coming back to ask how long you should wait before taking an interest in someone else - as if you haven't already taken the interest. Seems a bit backward.

    Are you seeking confirmation for things already done?
  • rocketpants
    rocketpants Posts: 419 Member
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    11 days ago
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
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    My boyfriend and I of three years just broke up 10 days ago, and I was just wondering how long I should wait before I take an interest in other guys? I'm not saying I want to go on dates, or even have a relationship- I just feel really guilty for even looking at other guys at the moment. Will that go away?
    I don't understand why you are asking this question. You have already taken interest in another guy and posted about it here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/337254-question-about-how-guys-work

    And that thread was started almost an hour before this one.

    I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong. You broke up with your boyfriend - go have fun, be careful, don't get all infatuated right away, etc. But I am saying that (according to your post) you are taking an interest in someone else, then coming back to ask how long you should wait before taking an interest in someone else - as if you haven't already taken the interest. Seems a bit backward.

    Are you seeking confirmation for things already done?

    No, I posted that thread and then started to feel ridiculously guilty and then posted this one... I haven't really taken an interest in the other guy, I just think he's attractive. I haven't even talked to him! haha
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
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    11 days ago

    I forgot mondays exist... sorry haha I was counting it as three days from sunday to wednesday
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
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    My boyfriend and I of three years just broke up 10 days ago, and I was just wondering how long I should wait before I take an interest in other guys? I'm not saying I want to go on dates, or even have a relationship- I just feel really guilty for even looking at other guys at the moment. Will that go away?
    You broke up with your boyfriend..you didn't die. Look away, date casualy, but don't feel guilty for looking at other guys. :flowerforyou:
  • cmonskinnylovee
    cmonskinnylovee Posts: 339
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    My boyfriend and I of three years just broke up 10 days ago, and I was just wondering how long I should wait before I take an interest in other guys? I'm not saying I want to go on dates, or even have a relationship- I just feel really guilty for even looking at other guys at the moment. Will that go away?
    You broke up with your boyfriend..you didn't die. Look away, date casualy, but don't feel guilty for looking at other guys. :flowerforyou:

    I was with him for three years, from 15 to 18, which I think is a VERY important period in your life. It kind of feels like a part of me died. I know that might seem melodramatic, but I did love him. He was not only my boyfriend, but he was also my best friend.

    So not only did I lose my first love, I lost my best friend as well. It really, really, really sucks.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    My boyfriend and I of three years just broke up 10 days ago, and I was just wondering how long I should wait before I take an interest in other guys? I'm not saying I want to go on dates, or even have a relationship- I just feel really guilty for even looking at other guys at the moment. Will that go away?
    I don't understand why you are asking this question. You have already taken interest in another guy and posted about it here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/337254-question-about-how-guys-work

    And that thread was started almost an hour before this one.

    I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong. You broke up with your boyfriend - go have fun, be careful, don't get all infatuated right away, etc. But I am saying that (according to your post) you are taking an interest in someone else, then coming back to ask how long you should wait before taking an interest in someone else - as if you haven't already taken the interest. Seems a bit backward.

    Are you seeking confirmation for things already done?

    No, I posted that thread and then started to feel ridiculously guilty and then posted this one... I haven't really taken an interest in the other guy, I just think he's attractive. I haven't even talked to him! haha
    I've talked with you before and suspect you are smart enough to realize you are kidding yourself with that response. Nothing wrong with seeking confirmation/advice for something already done - just present it as such. And I don't know about how you define "taking an interest in" but in the real-world lexicon that I refer to, you have taken an interest in that guy.

    And so what! Go have fun. You are young. Quit mentally gnashing your teeth and over-thinking everything. You'll have plenty of time to do that in your 20s.

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