Starting to obsess...

agartin

I've been doing well with my weight loss for the past few months.. It's such a great motivator because I've spent my entire life struggling with my weight.. However.. I notice I'm starting to obsess...

I try to put the scale away, but I end up dragging it out shortly after.
I constantly look up pics to put them side by side.
Every morning after I wake up, and every night before bed I stand infront of the mirror tugging at loose skin and pinching the remaining fat on my body....
I feel guilty for eating sometimes.. even though I make sure to reach my calorie goal.
I'm constantly searching for compliments or reassurance that there is a noticeable difference in my body... and yet it doesn't help me feel more confident.
I get upset that even though I'm losing weight, I know that I will always have loose skin and stretch marks as a reminder of many years of carrying around excess fat..

I try to tell myself to refrain from using the mirror other than to apply my makeup or comb my hair - but I notice I am still like a moth to a light when I see one...

It's not to a point where I'm scaring myself.. I'm not making unhealthy choices due to my new found obsession over losing weight - because of what MFP has taught me.. and I'm confident that I won't let it get to that point..

I just know that when I was "large"... I had a "don't care" attitude. If people liked me, great.. if they didn't, oh well. Now, I can't stop pointing out my flaws and getting sad that I'll never have the body I want, no matter how hard I try. I can't stop wondering what other people think of me... and I still get depressed trying on clothes because I am disgusted with the way they fit...

I guess I'm not sure how to word my concerns over this... But can many people relate?

adjones5

I can relate 100% I feel the exact same way. I look in the mirror constantly. Always looking at my body to detect any changes. Always thinking about whats wrong with my body. Never wanting to go shopping because I hate the way clothes look on me when everyone else is complimenting me. I make a list of all the things I love about my appearance whenever I get to obsessing over it and that usually helps.

robinso5

honey obsess over how sexy you are! be pleased with all the hard work you have done to get that body back! when you look at yourself in the mirror tell yourself that you are super sexy and no one can take it from you! As my friend says hold your head up so high that you will bump into everyone in your way!

robinso5

and guess what i act like that and i am still FAT!

johnlms

The only advice I would give is to try to divert focus to other activities... any hobbies? Personally, I'm a musician and I pick up the guitar to take my mind off things... I go out... meet with some friends, have a beer. Just live. I know it's not as easy as that sometimes, but it sounds like you're doing awesome with getting your weight under control. Now to focus on some other things you've always wanted to do. Good luck!

Ralstonk2

Yes, I can relate to this totally! Everyday I look in the mirror with no changes hoping I'll see some kind of difference. I used to weigh myself everyday before I got in the shower but now I only do it Mondays and Fridays before I get in the shower. It helped a lot.

mbond6

I really feel its just as important to like who we re on the inside! Weight loss is like a micro mirror sometimes we need to take it off ourselves and concentrate on others, the best way is to rach out to someone else and be a good friend, when we give we receive.

agartin

I can relate 100% I feel the exact same way. I look in the mirror constantly. Always looking at my body to detect any changes. Always thinking about whats wrong with my body. Never wanting to go shopping because I hate the way clothes look on me when everyone else is complimenting me. I make a list of all the things I love about my appearance whenever I get to obsessing over it and that usually helps.

The only things I could think to add to my list are those things that might have been on my list 34 pounds ago...
Always being "chunky".... I was told I have a "cute face".. I might add things like my eyes.. smile...

But the problems areas that I desperately wanted to change, well they are still problem areas.

I got happy because I could see my collar and wrist bone... But I still have a large belly and fatty inner thighs.. Not to mention I'm quite "soft" as I need to tone alot more.

I just have a hard time with pointing out any positive.. other than inches lost and the number on the scale going down. Those are nice to see... but I was hoping for a more drastic change in my body by now...

Angel87a

If anything your confidence that you once had should be increasing.. you are getting fit and healthy.. it's a journey not a race and you look great so far! Keep working hard, eating clean and trying to be happy.. things will fall into place. You only live once, you need to enjoy it while it lasts!

jamhamster

From your profile photo looks like you've done an amazing good and your looking really good and healthy, It is easy to weigh yourself to much I've let the battery run out on my scales cause I know I'll weigh myself to much and I now only weigh in on a monday morning, I was starting to do a sneaky mid-week check but have stopped that now. As for the mirror thing I have mirrors everywhere in my house Have a full length one on the back of my bedroom door and another full length by my front door I often find myself standing in front of them

Remember you've done really well so far try focus on how far you've already come rather than how much you still have to do thats what I'm trying to do

BethanyMasters

I know exactly how you feel and I do a lot of the things you listed.

It's gotten to the point where my boyfriend has to lock the scale in a cabinet.
I take 'progress' pictures all the time.
I stand in front of the mirror all the time. Some times I feel good sometimes not so good about it.
I'm constantly asking my boyfriend how my stomach looks even though I know he'd never say anything to hurt my feelings.
And I totally stress over my stretch marks.

For me it kind of coincides with my already existing OCD.

For the most part I'm not hurting myself though, just driving myself a little crazy. Short trip though.

agartin

honey obsess over how sexy you are! be pleased with all the hard work you have done to get that body back! when you look at yourself in the mirror tell yourself that you are super sexy and no one can take it from you! As my friend says hold your head up so high that you will bump into everyone in your way!

I try.. but it's a forced, fake confidence. My husband is deployed and I was hoping that I would have found a whole new level of confidence before he came home.. but he's coming home within a matter of weeks now and I'm not ready!

Ever since having my daughter, I have found ways of getting around having to be naked infront of him. I am still concerned over a 'tummy flap' that only seems to disappear when I stand up straight...

I wanted to "wow" him.. I just feel like the flaws in my body will outshow the weight loss.... I'm almost scared to see him, or rather for him to see me. I wanted to be the beautiful wife he deserves.... I feel like I embarrass him sometimes when we go out.. I wish I could be the "trophy wife" sitting next to him....

cwojo

This is a marathon not a sprint. You will not see changes fast. I have been working on this for a about 8 months and I have lost alot and have the same issues you do but the most imporatant part of my change is that I have learned you have to be happy within in order to be happy outside. You need to focus on what is causing you not to have self confidence and making you feel the way you do. Good Luck and be happy that you have finally taken control of being overweight.

KimboSlicenDice

Community Service. Volunteer once a week for an hour (or more if you can!). You'll be taking the focus off of yourself, and yet at the same time get a self esteem & mood boost. Science tells us that when we help others, we get a rush of all those feel good chemicals in the brain. Also, helping those less fortunate will help you to immediately recognize the blessings & positive aspects of your own life that you otherwise can't seem to identify. It sounds like really trite, uncaring advice but...it works!

cree_d

I have been like that in the past and occasionally still have my obsessive moments. I'm keeping a close eye on it though because I've realized that kind of thinking eventually gets me depressed and back to the "I don't care at all" attitude. For me it's an ugly cycle that I can't allow to happen again. When I get those thoughts I remind myself that I'm so much healthier than 4 1/2 months ago, and that's what really matters. Even if I don't lose another pound I'm better off than I was. Even though my body will never be perfect looking, I can get healthier. I also try to remember that most women my age don't have perfect bodies. We just don't realize it because everyone with imperfections hides them! We only see the bodies of the few that have managed to weather pregnancy/weight gain/sun exposure/gravity well!

jamesdelong

thanks for starting this thread. I feel the same way.

BeeElMarvin

OBSESSED is just a word the LAZY use to describe the DEDICATED.
Russell Warren

TMcBooty

I wanted to "wow" him.. I just feel like the flaws in my body will outshow the weight loss.... I'm almost scared to see him, or rather for him to see me. I wanted to be the beautiful wife he deserves.... I feel like I embarrass him sometimes when we go out.. I wish I could be the "trophy wife" sitting next to him....

Do you know how happy I would be if I lost half the weight you did??? You have done such a great job.. always remember what you looked like before.. look at the before pictures and smile at what you see in that mirror!!

And I know for a fact that your husband loves you no matter what you look like.. so he will be wow'ed for sure at the accomplishment you've made!! I just know it

auntiebabs

Something I heard ages ago I feel like I never get the words quite right... but the idea resounded and has stuck with me for years.

Your body should be SUBJECT not OBJECT.

Your value is NOT as ornament or status object...
If you happen to look great what a wonderful bonus, but your body is a vehicle that has to get you through the rest of your life (no trade-ins). You to take care of yourself so you can have a strong body so that you will be CAPABLE and able to DO everything that you want it to DO whether... Swimming, hiking, mowing the lawn, kayaking, rocking it in the sack, dancing, rock climbing, swinging your kids around, skiing, scuba diving, bicycling, climb trees.... whatever you want to do.

You need a healthy body to serve you, don't be a slave to how other perceive you because you'll never meet everyone's expectations.

agartin

I wanted to "wow" him.. I just feel like the flaws in my body will outshow the weight loss.... I'm almost scared to see him, or rather for him to see me. I wanted to be the beautiful wife he deserves.... I feel like I embarrass him sometimes when we go out.. I wish I could be the "trophy wife" sitting next to him....

Do you know how happy I would be if I lost half the weight you did??? You have done such a great job.. always remember what you looked like before.. look at the before pictures and smile at what you see in that mirror!!

And I know for a fact that your husband loves you no matter what you look like.. so he will be wow'ed for sure at the accomplishment you've made!! I just know it

Thanks hun.. there's alot more to it. We've had our problems... so my self esteem is extremely low.. that was another reason I had let my weight gain get out of control after having my daughter. I actually started my weight loss for him.. Still learning to do it for me.

agartin

Something I heard ages ago I feel like I never get the words quite right... but the idea resounded and has stuck with me for years.

Your body should be SUBJECT not OBJECT.

Your value is NOT as ornament or status object...
If you happen to look great what a wonderful bonus, but your body is a vehicle that has to get you through the rest of your life (no trade-ins). You to take care of yourself so you can have a strong body so that you will be CAPABLE and able to DO everything that you want it to DO whether... Swimming, hiking, mowing the lawn, kayaking, rocking it in the sack, dancing, rock climbing, swinging your kids around, skiing, scuba diving, bicycling, climb trees.... whatever you want to do.

You need a healthy body to serve you, don't be a slave to how other perceive you because you'll never meet everyone's expectations.

Thank you, makes perfect sense, and yes... it does bring a new light to the way I view my body..

I just wish that I was taught better habits as a child... I aim to teach my daughter better habits so that a healthy lifestyle comes naturally to her. I don't want her to obsess over image like I am now... I want her to be healthy.

I know I'm not following my own advice.. and there is no sense in "wishing"... I just get in my debbie downer moods every once in a while...