Compliments & Seeing yourself where you are...

bluiz13

Just curious if anyone else "revels" in compliments?? they make me feel so good about myself...are you able to accept them without a "downer" comment back yet???

i'm getting there...when someone in the past would say wow you look great, i would say, i've lost xxlbs but i still have xxlbs to go....now i'm like, yeah i've lost over 80lbs in the last 3 yrs and still trucking along...it's kinda the same but not really.....i'm so proud of my accomplishments even on days when i'm "UP" on the scale....today for example, i'm back up to 180.2 from 175.4 but i know its from chinese takeout last night and a kickass workout at the gym (my muscles are screaming already - tomorrow will be worse)....

anyway, i went to one of our construction sites this am to drop off a part they needed for an inspection...as i was leaving my superintendent told me to back up he wanted to tell me something....he was standing with one of our electricians i dont ever remember meeting but i'm sure i have "seen" on a site before (i dont go out in the field very often, just to bring stuff or pick up stuff on occasion)...anyway, keith, my super, said that sonny, the electrician, was asking who the hot thing getting in the van was....keith told him i was the one who runs the office and the guy said no, she was a heavy set woman and keith told him nooooo she's lost like 100lbs (less but to a guy it might as well be lol) and sonny was like damn she looks great....so anyway, keith relayed this all to me and told me and sonny that it was good thing to share his "positive" opinion of me and my looks cause it would make me feel good....and it did....i liked feeling like the guys on the site might actually be checking out my *kitten* and my "skinny" figure lol.....

a few weeks ago at my daughter's cheerleading practice i saw a friend and her husband who were at the field...i have seen her a few times in the last few months but hadnt seen him since probably last october...i said hi and then headed out with the kids...later that day i saw her at a bday party and she said she had to tell me dan didnt recognize me at the field until i started talking and he saw emma...he couldnt believe how "small" i was....he didnt want to say anything to me cause he thought it was rude and she reassured him, nooooooooo, you always tell a woman when you notice a good change....i saw him last week at the field again and walked up and was like, so i hear you didnt recognize me huh? and then when you did you were afraid to say something, he was like, yeah i cant believe it, you've done an amazing job....way to go....it felt good and it does every single time...i hate to admit it but when i am feeling down about my progress or my current situation in regards to my journey i consider seeking out a compliment from someone i havent seen in a while....it sounds sooo shallow to say/type but it really is a good "reminder" of how far we have come...others see us sooooo much differently than we see ourselves and having that boost from an outside source can make your day....

everyone i know has only known me heavy and now this way....no one in my life except my mom has known me smaller in a prior life....so everyone around me thinks i'm skinny now compared to what i was....i am having a hard time accepting that since i know i still am 175ish lbs at 5'4" and i know that even though i look great, i still have "stuff" to work on....so my goal/task is to find a random stranger and ask them if they think i look "average" i dont know why i feel the need to have someone else re-affirm what i already should know...i am the average size - i no longer look PLUS sized or overweight even though i still feel like i do...i wear M size shirts and size 10s and 12s on the bottom...it's just really hard to SEE IT!!!!

so i guess sonny's comments this morning were kinda my stranger confirmation because he didnt know who i was when he made them....

okay off to work, just wanted to share....

fbmandy55

Absolutley- I feel like I have to keep putting myself out there because the compliments are what keep me motivated. When I started here in February, I had ZERO confidence. I'd say my confidence today is at about 75%. I owe my success to my wonderful MFP family and everyone who has made me feel good about myself.

SoldierDad

I think we all love compliments. The fact that several women at church want to date me, and the way women look at me makes me very proud of myself. I went from buff army guy, to overweight to in shape. It's a great feeling. :-)

Kimbie500

What a great feeling, when a stranger compliments us!

I'm also struggling with seeing myself as the smaller person I'm becoming. Thanks for putting my feelings into words!

dia77

I don't think you are average:) .I think that you are a beautiful , medium size woman.
I think you need to learn to love yourself , at any size, and celebrate your sucessess.
You are beautiful :flowerforyou:

mrmarius

i think every one likes a compliment, the problem so many have is either accepting it, or bein gracious in accepting it.. Alot of folks after losing a good bit of weight can not take a compliment because they still see the overweight person they use to be or they still see the last 10lbs they want to lose etc when they should celebrate how far theyve made it so far. Then there are those who's head swell up and they seem to feel like everyone is supposed to compliment them and they become difficult to be around. Unless they are me they shouldnt think like this (i kid i kid, i'm not as egotistical as i seem lol). An ways you have done great so yes revel in those compliments you earned them!

tmiqueen

I know the feeling! I've had friends, coworkers and church members say "Wow, have you been losing weight? You look great!"

That makes me feel really proud for what I've accomplished and I LOVE it!

Qarol

I love compliments...like, you look fantastic. What I hate are the references to my losing weight. I just can't stand people noticing I've lost. Even if they have, I'd prefer they just say, you look fantastic. Not, you look fantastic...how much weight have you lost?

But I can't control what people say, so I take it graciously. I seethe in silence. The effects of the compliment are negated for me if they mention weight loss at all.

jessicae1aine

I have a very hard time with compliments at all, ever - this is my 2nd trip down weight-loss lane (though I'm doing it more healthily and with an actual plan in place this time), and I never got used to it before. Then again, I have Asperger's, so social situations, people, etc are difficult for me anyhow.

bluiz13

I don't think you are average:) .I think that you are a beautiful , medium size woman.
I think you need to learn to love yourself , at any size, and celebrate your sucessess.
You are beautiful :flowerforyou:

by average i meant size lol...

lovecola06

Great post! I can definitely relate to what you are saying.
It is still hard for me to accept compliments about my weight loss. I usually laugh it off since most people are commenting on the difference between my pregnancy weight & now. I am definitely getting better about seeing myself as a "smaller" person rather than seeing the fat that I still have left to lose. We are all "works" in progress, right?

bjerkins

Thanks for sharing. I've learned to say thank you and smile.

stefa777

Thank you for sharing this story, you must have been glowing when he was telling you that, I was glowing for you when I read it! YOU DESERVE EVERY BIT IF IT!!! You have accomplished something GREAT!!!!
I sort of had the same thing happen to me, I was at my new school where I don't know anyone and I walked in on a conversation between two females who gave birth to their babies around the same time I had my twins & they were going on and on about how they can't lose their "baby weight" and then one of them "my team leader" turns to me as says..."And look at this skinny *****, she had twins, and looks amazing, errr skinny people drive me crazy!!" and w/o thinking, I just laughed and said, "Why thank you, that is the best compliment I have had in my entire life" I then proceeded to advise her that I have in the passed tipped the scale at 200lbs and that I have struggled with my weight my entire life!! Naturally I told them about MFP and if they so do chose to join, then yeah for them!!!
It is very difficult to take compliments!!! I have always had some type of sarcastic or negative remark when someone give me a compliment, but today I not only accept the compliments but I also let my "admirers" know that it did not come easy! I always tell them about MFP and how I've struggled with my weight my whole life. Sometimes I feel as if I am bragging but then I have a flashback of how hard I've worked and I will NEVER EVER let anyone "rent space" in my head because they can't commit to being the person they want to be!

SO KEEP IT GOING!!! YOUR DOING AWESOME !!!


Stefanie