I'm 18, moving out, and need advice before I tell my parents

veganbaum

Some things to consider:
1. Living with friends, no matter how well you think you know them, is vastly different from living with family. Habits might be there that you don't know about that will annoy the heck out of you. You never know if one of them could be irresponsible and miss the rent or other bills.
2. You say rent, heat/gas (I'm assuming these are the same thing), water. What about electric bill?
3. Food - you're assuming sharing food expenses. First off, you should all come to an agreement about that -will you be planning meals together? It might be best to each have your own food, only sharing meals here and there, rather than counting on sharing equally. And $150 a month for three people sounds a little low, though it's possible to shop on a budget that's only about $37 a week for food for three people.

You may pay for miscellaneous expenses for yourself, but you're not paying for rent or food with your parents. When you live on your own, unforeseen expenses can come up, and roommates can sometimes be unpredictable. My advice - unless you are in an unbearable family situation, I would strongly suggest staying at home while you're in school. Even if you could get financial aid in the form of grants and loans, why saddle yourself with loans if you don't have to? Are you going on to university after community college? Loans rack up, and then there's interest - as soon as you're out of school you'll be saddled with a loan payment that you could have avoided by living with your parents while you finish your education. Should you decide to do it, your parents might point out some of these things to you, but in the end can't technically stop you and have probably been thinking about what you plan on doing since you are 18.

xBeautifulBreakdown

If you think you can swing it financially you should do it. I signed my first lease the day I turned 18. A piece of advice though, DONT put your name on the lease as a lease holder put yourself down as a tenant only. Roommates SUCK. people you think would NEVER screw you over almost always do and if things get ugly and you want to leave you can talk to the landlord and get your name taken off of the lease much easier as a tenant. If you put your name down as the primary lease holder YOU are financially responsible when others dont pay rent or pay late or even walk out on you, YOU are responsible for damages, and if you find that you aren't able to make it work financially you will either have an eviction on your credit OR be held responsible for paying the rent for the remainder of the lease term. I have had plenty of roommates that I trusted that screwed me over, so definitely consider these things before signing the lease

tigersword

Car insurance sounds incredibly cheap for an 18 year old. Is that your own policy? Is the cell phone your own, or part of a family plan? Car insurance would probably go up if you move out of your parents' house, just something to think about.

The car insurance is under me and my dad's name, and it's just liability insurance. I don't think my dad will kick me off the plan as long as i pay for it haha.

Cell phone is part of a family, but I'm changing to cricket wireless as soon as my contract expires, and that's $35 a month

Car insurance is based on where the car is kept. If you move out, it's illegal to stay on your parents' car insurance policy, as the insurance rates are calculated based on many factors, including number of people in the household, where the car is garaged, how many vehicles are in the household, etc, the actual city or town you live in, etc. You move out, you'll have to get your own plan. When I was 18 and got my own insurance, it was over $200 a month, and that for my state minimums. Again, just food for thought.

Also, $150 a month for food? I spend that in a week, and that's with just myself, my wife, and my 3 year old daughter. I think your estimates are incredibly low.

Iamfit4life

THIS!! I think it's much more accepted nowdays. I think a lot of people are now actually living with them until they get in serious relationships or even married.
I've seen entire communities work that way.

Yeah I stayed at home till I was 23. Not uncommon for an Asian family.

Personally in this economy I just think it's sensible.

dmpizza

It is reasonable if you stay focused on your education.
Your parents should be OK with it. Just tell them soon.

ninerbuff

I'm going to get a second job, and I plan on selling a lot of my old things in order to save up more money.

I finished paying my first semester of school two or three days ago actually, and I've only been in school for three weeks, haha. I am very responsible, and I believe my room mates are as well. They've supported themselves for most of their life, because their family is, well, less than desirable.

I'm not doubting your intentions nor the quality of your room mates. I just know from experience that living with friends is DIFFERENT than hanging out with them. Little things you may dislike can definitely come out if there's an argument over something dumb.
I moved in my first apartment with a good friend. He was a great guy, but ALWAYS stayed up late and drank with friends. Even with my doors closed I could hear them. We talked about it and he promised to keep it down, but it was his friends that were the loud ones. I told him that I can't sleep and have been dozing at work because of lack of sleep. He got defensive and stated that he shouldn't have to change his fun because I'm bothered by it. Needless to say, I moved out once the lease was up and we're not friends anymore.
Just a heads up. You're young and I know you want to believe that only the best things will happen because of this. But you also need to look at "what if" it didn't work out. Precaution isn't a bad thing.

red01angel

Everyone here has some really good points.

I don't doubt that you're responsible and could probably handle it, BUT

You WILL encounter unexpected expenses, as well as ones that fluctuate (like electric bills. Mine in January is -$60, while I just got my August one and it was just over $200.) Also, gas (it's only going to go up) and things like that.

Will you be contractually locked into a specific rate per month for rent and all other extras (cable/satellite, phone, internet)? If not, your landlord can (and will) raise your rent unexpectedly, as can your cable/satellite provider.

Will you be staying in all the time? Will you be able to afford doing anything besides sitting in your apartment? Do you like going to the movies or out to dinner with friends? That's an added expense too.
Netflix is a great way to save money and stay entertained, but even that has a price.

Also, a 2nd job is great for income....not great for grades. What's going to be your priority? Many people I know who had 2 jobs in college ended up flunking out because they simply couldn't do school while trying to stay on top of their bills.

My advice would be to stick it out with your parents for at least year, and save EVERY PENNY YOU CAN. Then after you have enough money in savings to live for 4-6 months with no extra income, go ahead and move out.

Most importantly, DO NOT RELY ON LOANS. You have to pay them back at some point, and you can't escape from under student debt regardless of how many times you declare bankruptcy. I know more than a few people who are getting Ph.D.s simply because they can't afford to even pay the interest on their student loan financed undergraduate educations.

ninerbuff

If you think you can swing it financially you should do it. I signed my first lease the day I turned 18. A piece of advice though, DONT put your name on the lease as a lease holder put yourself down as a tenant only. Roommates SUCK. people you think would NEVER screw you over almost always do and if things get ugly and you want to leave you can talk to the landlord and get your name taken off of the lease much easier as a tenant. If you put your name down as the primary lease holder YOU are financially responsible when others dont pay rent or pay late or even walk out on you, YOU are responsible for damages, and if you find that you aren't able to make it work financially you will either have an eviction on your credit OR be held responsible for paying the rent for the remainder of the lease term. I have had plenty of roommates that I trusted that screwed me over, so definitely consider these things before signing the lease

This.

crazyeaCHANGED

All I can say as someone who moved out at 18, is please think about it. Its 100% easier to accomplish your goals in life if you have supportive parents.

Speaking for myself, it was a hard lesson to learn for someone who thought they knew it all and didnt want to listen and follow simple rules any longer. The going was tough. I went hungry a lot, got into financial difficulty, etc. I just wasnt ready. Not saying your are at all, but I was a dumb know it all kid.

I have a daughter who is almost 15 now, and I'm sure she has similar thoughts and I tell her and my sons all the time. Stay as long as you like, make something of yourself, and succeed. Dont make the mistakes I did.

I wish you the best of luck!

veganbaum

Second job while in school? I understand you wanting to help your friends, but your future is just as important. I just think that you shouldn't make things harder for yourself than they need to be. Just try to think long term for yourself. As someone mentioned, with the economy you never know what might happen with your job, and your credit is another thing to think about. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

MamaKatel

Heres my advice....

Stay at home with mom and dad while you go to college. I know they have rules and you want to be independent and that can be a drag. But living on your own gets expensive. Even if you have it all figured out on paper - theres always stuff that pops up that isnt accounted for. In my experience, it seems that most people who got apartments during college ended up dropping out and not going back until later. (ME!) Is living on campus on option? Dont be in such a rush to grow up. You have the rest of your life to pay bills and clean house.

I completely agree!

KariAmbriz

My advice is also to stay with your parents while in school. The ONLY way you will be able to change your dependency status before age 24 is if you get married/have a baby. Which you don't want to do.

If you do choose to move out tell your parents way in advance so they have time to prepare and make sure you have enough savings for six months of expenses in case of unemployment. Also make sure you make 3x's your rent/bills in income that way you know you can afford your bills. You should make more than that just for little extra's like going out to eat, to the movies, getting new clothes etc....

AshjMusik

Talk to them & see what they have to say. Maybe a business plan if sorts.. Lay out your goals & current assets, & ur plan if action. Then express the feelings behind it, let your passion show too! Of course make sure to show your gratitude & respect... & with some time to think & haggle, they may even help you get on your feet! Good luck! 

ace175

THIS!! I think it's much more accepted nowdays. I think a lot of people are now actually living with them until they get in serious relationships or even married.
I've seen entire communities work that way.

Yeah I stayed at home till I was 23. Not uncommon for an Asian family.

Yeah my bf just moved out of his parents house and he turns 24 in Nov. We just moved in together which is why he moved out.....

but also about the financial aid thing... his parents don't make much money but they "aren't poor enough" to receive federal money for his school, so he's only taken 1 semester of college. thankfully he becomes independent in a few months, so he will be able to receive it....and he also has ALWAYS paid for everything on his own, but they still considered him dependent.

I say, if you want to move out then it's your decision. Your parents will understand..... all parents know it comes one day! And I'm sure if something happened down the road (cuz hey, life happens!) where you needed to go back with your family, they would take you back in!

Shae3891

I'm not sure what advice that I have as to how to tell your parents other than explaining that because they raised you the way they did for the last 18 years, you are indiependant and strong enough to be on your own. However I work in a financial aid office at an university and want to make sure you know that regardless of if you live on your own, until you are 24 the federal government considers you a dependant for FA purposes and will still require your parents taxes for consideration in how much aid you'll recieve. I am sure this is not the only reason you want to be on your own or the only money you are counting on to do it but I have seen so many students be disappointed when we require thier parents info so I thought I'd share in effort to help prepare you.I would contact the FA office of the school(s) you plan to attend to make sure you understand their policies correctly before you make a big decision. other than that, good luck I hope I have not been a downer

NatalieWinning

Car insurance sounds incredibly cheap for an 18 year old. Is that your own policy? Is the cell phone your own, or part of a family plan? Car insurance would probably go up if you move out of your parents' house, just something to think about.

The car insurance is under me and my dad's name, and it's just liability insurance. I don't think my dad will kick me off the plan as long as i pay for it haha.

Cell phone is part of a family, but I'm changing to cricket wireless as soon as my contract expires, and that's $35 a month

I was not able to cut off my kids from my insurance until they could prove they had their own insurance. This was even when they lived in different states. So your parents may not be able to cut you off insurance.

cmonskinnylovee

Car insurance sounds incredibly cheap for an 18 year old. Is that your own policy? Is the cell phone your own, or part of a family plan? Car insurance would probably go up if you move out of your parents' house, just something to think about.

The car insurance is under me and my dad's name, and it's just liability insurance. I don't think my dad will kick me off the plan as long as i pay for it haha.

Cell phone is part of a family, but I'm changing to cricket wireless as soon as my contract expires, and that's $35 a month

I was not able to cut off my kids from my insurance until they could prove they had their own insurance. This was even when they lived in different states. So your parents may not be able to cut you off insurance.

Really!? I hope that's the case because car insurance going up would be the only thing stopping me from moving otu.

foremant86

This got me thinking and I don't know anyone who has lived with friends where it did not end on bad terms.

My cousin and i shared a place for a few months...we ended up not talking for 6 months afterwards and it took a lot for me to forgive her(her and her boyfriend up and moved out one day and stuck me and my boyfriend with the bills)

My sister lived with a few of her friends...ended up getting evicted 'cause nobody ever had their full share of the bills

My friend danielle got a place with her friend when they were going to college in Chicago, her friend never had her full share of the bills and was a pig and just awful to live with.

My friend erica rented a place from her parents and had a few friends move in to share the bills...they destroyed the place and left a ton of holes in the walls and she ended up having to move back in with her parents and fixing up the place she had rented.

So yeah, you might think your friends will be fine to live with but i'd really give it some serious thought 'cause it's no fun dealing with the aftermath

cmonskinnylovee

I'm not sure what advice that I have as to how to tell your parents other than explaining that because they raised you the way they did for the last 18 years, you are indiependant and strong enough to be on your own. However I work in a financial aid office at an university and want to make sure you know that regardless of if you live on your own, until you are 24 the federal government considers you a dependant for FA purposes and will still require your parents taxes for consideration in how much aid you'll recieve. I am sure this is not the only reason you want to be on your own or the only money you are counting on to do it but I have seen so many students be disappointed when we require thier parents info so I thought I'd share in effort to help prepare you.I would contact the FA office of the school(s) you plan to attend to make sure you understand their policies correctly before you make a big decision. other than that, good luck I hope I have not been a downer

Since you work there, can you explain to me why it's so corrupt? Why aren't my legal guardians being taken into account, financially? Why are they using my step dad's income and not my Fathers? Why does my family have 6 people in it, lives on an income that should support around 4, and yet we still get nothing?

I am p.oed about financial aid. SO. P.O-ED.

It's not your fault of course, haha I am just venting -.-

cmonskinnylovee

I'm not sure what advice that I have as to how to tell your parents other than explaining that because they raised you the way they did for the last 18 years, you are indiependant and strong enough to be on your own. However I work in a financial aid office at an university and want to make sure you know that regardless of if you live on your own, until you are 24 the federal government considers you a dependant for FA purposes and will still require your parents taxes for consideration in how much aid you'll recieve. I am sure this is not the only reason you want to be on your own or the only money you are counting on to do it but I have seen so many students be disappointed when we require thier parents info so I thought I'd share in effort to help prepare you.I would contact the FA office of the school(s) you plan to attend to make sure you understand their policies correctly before you make a big decision. other than that, good luck I hope I have not been a downer

Since you work there, can you explain to me why it's so corrupt? Why aren't my legal guardians being taken into account, financially? Why are they using my step dad's income and not my Fathers? Why does my family have 6 people in it, lives on an income that should support around 4, and yet we still get nothing?

I am p.oed about financial aid. SO. P.O-ED.

It's not your fault of course, haha I am just venting -.-

koosdel

I moved out when I was 17.

The only thing you should think about with the financial aid is that you are still considered dependant in most states until you're 24. Which means it doesn't matter if you live with them or not.

My parents moved me out when I was 17. Said they could wait a moment longer.

wiffe

As far as financial aid and your parents. I'm surprised you don't have to include both. Both your mom and step-dad and your bio-dad.

Who pays or covers your health and dental ins?

sarah44254

Who pays or covers your health and dental ins?

not everyone has that stuff. it's not really needed for many people, we just pay for doctor visits if we get really, really sick

unless the OP is lucky enough to have insurance!

foremant86

As far as financial aid and your parents. I'm surprised you don't have to include both. Both your mom and step-dad and your bio-dad.

Who pays or covers your health and dental ins?

lol i'm sorry but do you live in america? the land where the majority of people don't have health nor dental insurance..

Kalrez

You're more than capable of doing whatever you want. But here's an anecdote from my personal experience.

I moved out at 19. I got a job working full/part-time. I lived with roommates. I was going to college full time. Sure, I made enough money on paper, but that doesn't cut it.

And it is decidedly NOT easy to work and go to college, especially if you're having to support yourself. You may be in class for only 12 hours a week, but you have homework and papers to do. You're talking about working two part-time jobs AND going to college. That's difficult.

It's more stressful than you can imagine. Bills, papers, scheduling.

And if you really like your friends and if you want to remain friends with them, don't live with them. Don't mingle money/bills/rent with them. Nothing ruins relationships faster than being roommates.

When you move out, I think you can still be covered under your parents' health insurance until you are 23 or until you get married as long as you are a full-time student.

All and all, I would recommend NOT moving out until you're done with school. Yeah, it kinda cramps your style but the safety net is far more helpful than you can even begin to imagine right now.

Jorra

My advice is to save as much money as you can. It's a good idea to have at least three months worth of bill money in savings at all times. I wish I had done that because right now I'm in a huge financial hole.

Good luck with your newly found independence. I was forced into it after my first year of college after my mom died, so I didn't have the advantage of planning and saving. Make sure to discuss everything with your parents. They know what it's like to be young and independent and they may think of issues you wouldn't even consider.

kristlynngirl

Other than living on campus when I was in college, I was home until this past April --- I'm 27 and had gotten engaged to be married. I knew I didn't want to give up my lifestyle of being able to drive a nice car, have nice things, go out with my friends before I had a job where I made enough money to still do those things plus put a roof over my head. I didn't want to try and make ends meet only making $10 or $12 an hour all on my own. I crunched the numbers and waited until I had a career where I didn't have to worry about a pay cut or losing my job (I got laid off once - God forbid something like THAT happen to you while you're trying to pay for college and rent/utilities/etc too).

Unexpected things happen. Cars blow up. You can get sick. You can rack up huge credit card bills paying these emergencies off.

sagetracey

As mum of two, one who moved out at 18 to go to university and another who will almost certainly move out just before turning 19, also to go to university, I would strongly encourage you to talk to all your parents, including your stepfather about moving out. They know you will move out some day, but involving them in the decision and discussion will show your maturity and keep them involved in your life. As parents, we have been there and done and, believe it or not, may have some useful advice to give. Or maybe access to a truck to help you move, or a set of old pots and pans to help you get started. Either way, good luck and I hope everything works out well.

odusgolp

Just... talk to your parents. Making all these plans to do something prior to talking to your very good, reasonable, wonderful parents is what would p*ss me off as a mom. I would imagine they'd be more receptive the idea if you approached it as "I've been thinking about moving out with a couple of friends, but would love your thoughts on the topic." And have all your facts. Think through everything you need to budget for with their input. The may be delighted you want to leave

Rent, heat water, etc... is just the beginning. Here is a snapshot of what "adults" take into consideration and may or may not apply to you (most will not, but it's a good budgeting worksheet):

Payroll Taxes
Other income deductions
Rent or Mortgage
2nd Mortgage or Home Equity Loan
Property Taxes
Personal Loan
Water
Garbage
Gas & Electric
Auto Insurance
Auto repairs
Food & Groceries (not dining out)
Clothing (necessary)
Telephone (not mobile phone)
Home or Renters Insurance
Healthcare or Insurance Costs
Dental Care or Insurance Costs
Life Insurance Costs
Student Loans
Home Repairs
Home supplies
Dry cleaning
Laundry
Investment Real Estate Expenses
Business Income Expenses
Childcare (daycare & babysitters)
Child & Baby Expenses
Other dependent expenses
Total Necessary Expenses


Discretionary Expenses:
Credit Card Bills
Auto Loan (s)
Gasoline
Intoxalock
Cable or Satellite TV
Mobile Phone (s)
Home Improvement
Home Security
Garden Supplies
Food, Beverages & Entertainment
Travel & Vacation
Pets, Pet Care and Pet Food
Clothing (above what's needed)
Internet Access
Computer Costs
Gym membership
Total Discretionary Expenses


Investment Spending:
401K, 403B deposits
IRA deposits
Employee Stock Plans
Brokerage Deposits
Other
Total Investment Spending

odusgolp

I moved out when I was 17.

The only thing you should think about with the financial aid is that you are still considered dependant in most states until you're 24. Which means it doesn't matter if you live with them or not.

My parents moved me out when I was 17. Said they could wait a moment longer.

Need a place to stay? :laugh: