HELP WITH MY TEEN

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  • LandBsdotingchauffeur
    LandBsdotingchauffeur Posts: 237
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    bump
  • lulubar
    lulubar Posts: 739 Member
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    Wow. What a difficult place to be in - and good for you for reaching out! You've gotten so much good advice. Having raised two kids - now 19 and 23 - all I can say is be gentle, stress your trust in them (assuming that until now you have had trust) and let him know how uncomfortable you are having to address this at all... I have found that I am usually treated with the same respect I show and if things ever started getting really heated, we took a break and came back to it in a bit. Good luck. Keep us posted.... it'll be okay. lulu
  • sunflower8926
    sunflower8926 Posts: 485 Member
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    I SUSPECT MY TEEN HAS STOLEN SOMETHING, I FOUND IN THE LAUNDRY. CAN ANY ONE TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO?

    Hi,
    I am just bumping this to see if there has been some resolution. We are all there for you...
  • proudmom
    proudmom Posts: 44 Member
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    THANKS FOR ALL THE ADVICE! I CONFRONTED HIM BY ASKING HIM IF HE HAD EVER SEEN THE RING BEFORE, AND HE SAID YEA IT WAS OUR COUSIN'S. HIS MOM HAD PASSED AWAY 15 YEARS AGO AND HIS GRANDMOTHER HAD GIVEN HIM THE RING AS A KEEP SAKE. ANY WAY THEY WERE OUR CLIMBING AROUND IN THE BARN AND THE COUSIN HAD ON LOOSE FITTING CLOTHES AND ASKED MY SON TO HOLD IT FOR HIM AND HE FORGOT TO GIVE IT BACK TO HIM, HE GRABBED THE PHONE WHILE I WAS IN THE SAME ROOM AND TOLD HIM HE HAD FORGOTTNE TO GET IT BACK AND HE WOULD BRING IT TO HIM AND TOLD HIM THAT I THOUGHT HE HAD TAKEN IT AND HE GAVE ME THE PHONE AND THE COUSIN TOLD ME THE SAME STORY, SO THEN I TOLD MY SON I WAS SORRY AND HE SAID WHAT ELSE COULD YOU HAVE THOUGHT MOM IT IS OKAY I LOVE YOU AND GAVE ME A BIG HUG WHILE I WAS IN TEARS
  • paulamma1
    paulamma1 Posts: 544 Member
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    It worked out. Good stuff!

    (Is the "Caps Lock" stuck on your keyboard? All caps comes across as shouting.)

    How is the walking/exercising going?
  • LandBsdotingchauffeur
    LandBsdotingchauffeur Posts: 237
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    Thanks for the update! Glad it all was ok and turned out not to be what you thought :)
  • proudmom
    proudmom Posts: 44 Member
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    sorry i have a habit of leaving my cap locks on not to seem to be yelling.
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    THANKS FOR ALL THE ADVICE! I CONFRONTED HIM BY ASKING HIM IF HE HAD EVER SEEN THE RING BEFORE, AND HE SAID YEA IT WAS OUR COUSIN'S. HIS MOM HAD PASSED AWAY 15 YEARS AGO AND HIS GRANDMOTHER HAD GIVEN HIM THE RING AS A KEEP SAKE. ANY WAY THEY WERE OUR CLIMBING AROUND IN THE BARN AND THE COUSIN HAD ON LOOSE FITTING CLOTHES AND ASKED MY SON TO HOLD IT FOR HIM AND HE FORGOT TO GIVE IT BACK TO HIM, HE GRABBED THE PHONE WHILE I WAS IN THE SAME ROOM AND TOLD HIM HE HAD FORGOTTNE TO GET IT BACK AND HE WOULD BRING IT TO HIM AND TOLD HIM THAT I THOUGHT HE HAD TAKEN IT AND HE GAVE ME THE PHONE AND THE COUSIN TOLD ME THE SAME STORY, SO THEN I TOLD MY SON I WAS SORRY AND HE SAID WHAT ELSE COULD YOU HAVE THOUGHT MOM IT IS OKAY I LOVE YOU AND GAVE ME A BIG HUG WHILE I WAS IN TEARS

    OH YAY!!! I am SO GLAD to hear that it was nothing, and that your son respected you for your concern! What a great kid. :bigsmile:
  • mommachag
    mommachag Posts: 318
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    Sorry to hear about that, but you are not alone. We went thru this about 10 years ago. We don't have all the answers but I can tell you what we did:

    1. Gathered the evidence
    2. Found a place & time to talk privately
    3. Tried not to lose tempers
    4. Took the merchandise & the child back to each store
    5. Talked to the manager at each store at a time that is typically less busy for the manager (some of them had no clue how to handle this, one or two did a great job & really helped)
    6. Talked with the child about what we had been thru & tried to encourage them
    7. Told as few as people as possible about the situation (the fewer that know the less the shame & less repair work)
    8. Followed up with conversations over the weeks, then months that followed for accountability

    It was horrible to go thru but led to a great time of growth as a family. The child never returned to those habits.

    You'll be in my prayers.

    yeah that
  • lulubar
    lulubar Posts: 739 Member
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    Thankful your prayers were answered - and that your trust in your child is restored. Kids teach us something new everyday....
    lulu
  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
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    Crap.
    My kid is only 3 but it won't be that long before she'll be a teenager and I'll have to deal with this stuff.
    I think Anna is right about confronting them. You need to remain as calm as possible.
    Was this item stolen from a store, or a person? Are you absolutely positive it was stolen and couldn't have been bought/traded/gifted in some way?

    Lauryn-- be afraid-- be very, very afraid.:wink:

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