people who don't eat enough
sweetsarahj
Posts: 701 Member
This has been bothering me for awhile.
There is a MFP 'friend' I have who doesn't eat nearly enough. We're talking eating disorder territory. I just deleted her because I can't deal with reading the positive comments she gets for destroying her body.
I really wanted to tell her that she is not doing herself any good, even wrote out a msg, and comments, none of which I posted. I didn't post or send because I thought that they would be unwanted, and I might come across as pushy or sticking my nose where it doesn't belong.
I know there are recovering and active ED people on MFP and I hope everyone is getting what they need from it. But I just cannot stand the cheerleading that can happen when someone only eats 500 cals/day. Also be by being "friends' with her, and not saying anythin, it felt kinda like condoning it.
ANyone else feel this way?
There is a MFP 'friend' I have who doesn't eat nearly enough. We're talking eating disorder territory. I just deleted her because I can't deal with reading the positive comments she gets for destroying her body.
I really wanted to tell her that she is not doing herself any good, even wrote out a msg, and comments, none of which I posted. I didn't post or send because I thought that they would be unwanted, and I might come across as pushy or sticking my nose where it doesn't belong.
I know there are recovering and active ED people on MFP and I hope everyone is getting what they need from it. But I just cannot stand the cheerleading that can happen when someone only eats 500 cals/day. Also be by being "friends' with her, and not saying anythin, it felt kinda like condoning it.
ANyone else feel this way?
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Replies
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When you are wrong, is when you need your friends the most.0
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Sometimes with MFP Friends it is hard to know when to say something and How to say it.:ohwell:0
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She wasn't on that hcg diet was she? I don't understand why people pay money to do that to themselves.. I don't care who you are 500 calories isn't enough even if the hcg drops don't make you hungry0
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I'm glad you have noticed this too. I'm trying to recover from anorexia. I get compliments for eating little. However there are some amazing people who cheer me on & give me great suggestions on how to eat more.
I see some overweight people who starve themselves. Even if you are the biggest person in the world, you still need to eat! I think people forgot this0 -
I have seen this too. Some people who I am friends with and who I actively tell them they are not eating enough, have some of their friends say "way to be under your goal" or "great logging" when they are eating 700-800 calories a day...I know there are times to be positive but not when someone is starving themselves...0
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I think you should at least tell her what you feel. A lot of the time the advice to eat more isn't wanted, but if you're concerned you need to say something.0
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Many times I forget to log into my food diary. I hope it's the case that you have observed people simply forgetting everything that he or she eats.0
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UUUGGGHHHH! It's for this reason that I can't be friends with people like that. I see that crap too - goals under 110 lbs and eating less than 1,000 calories. You're not alone in feeling the way you do!0
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It's a tough call via social media because we through the word "friend" around so casually. If you know this person in "real life," then I would agree that it's good for you to say something. But if she's just a MFP friend and you've never even had a phone conversation, then it gets trickier. At that point you have to ask yourself, will she even hear what you're saying, or will she just harden her position in defiance of your "criticisms"?
I think this message board conversation you started is probably the best thing you could do. It raises the issue for discussion without singling out an individual.
Most importantly, keep rocking it yourself. I think we all lead best by example anyway.
Peace & Passion,
Curtis0 -
*throw, not through0
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This has been bothering me for awhile.
There is a MFP 'friend' I have who doesn't eat nearly enough. We're talking eating disorder territory. I just deleted her because I can't deal with reading the positive comments she gets for destroying her body.
I really wanted to tell her that she is not doing herself any good, even wrote out a msg, and comments, none of which I posted. I didn't post or send because I thought that they would be unwanted, and I might come across as pushy or sticking my nose where it doesn't belong.
I know there are recovering and active ED people on MFP and I hope everyone is getting what they need from it. But I just cannot stand the cheerleading that can happen when someone only eats 500 cals/day. Also be by being "friends' with her, and not saying anythin, it felt kinda like condoning it.
ANyone else feel this way?0 -
If you are truly friends, you will say something. But "friends" online aren't always intimate enough friends to give such advice. It's up to you to decide.
I totally agree with the calories. It's not healthy for most women to go under 1200 calories a day unless they are doing a very short diet modification or are under a physicians care.0 -
Well that is hard to say really. Because as a matter of fact would she have listened? If you try to tell her at this point she will shrug it off and get mad or think you are jealous lol. That is how eating disorders can be. I used to be borderline anorixic, and Body dismorphia. I stll think i have a tendencies to go over bord Im never in the middle and im working on that.
Sometimes you can try to talk to them and let her know when she realizes it isnt a good thing she is doing you are there for her you can help her in that way but until she can then you cant be friends. I would have at least told her that or something like that . you know plant a seed there so she can be somewhat aware. All she heres now is the praise because no onw knows what she is doing to get there or understand y its dangerous. But once she starts realizing it then she will at least know she can come to you at that point0 -
I have seen this too. Some people who I am friends with and who I actively tell them they are not eating enough, have some of their friends say "way to be under your goal" or "great logging" when they are eating 700-800 calories a day...I know there are times to be positive but not when someone is starving themselves...
I think a lot of the time people just don't bother to look at other people's food diaries. When I see people are under I check to make sure they're being healthy. If they're only a little under or if they offer a reason why they are 200+ calories under their goal I leave it alone. We all have days like that. But, if they are consistently under by 300 or more calories they get a mini "lecture" from me because I honestly care about people's health.0 -
I completely agree with you! I have seen a couple of my friends do that, along with working out and burning extra calories when they are already in a deficit. PLEASE if you wanto to lose weight and not screw up your metabolism you have to eat
Other people encourage this behavior of under 1,000 calories/day. I don't understand this is not accomplishing anything for the person starving themselves.0 -
If you don't like it, don't read it.
Or in this case, don't friend it.
It's his/her body, they will treat it as they please. And if they have a real disorder, they're probably aware. If they DON'T, then your comments could possibly push them to disordered territory.0 -
What surprises me too, adults encouraging younger ones to eat less than 1000! Mothers supporting starvation. Would they support THEIR child to starve?0
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I had one who hardly ate and I would say please you need to eat more. But one of their other buddies were harder on her. I don't know if she finally left or just unfriended me. I understand if someone does it on occasion but everyday something should be said.0
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I've had a couple friends who undereat and I have to say something. I comment once or twice, guide them to the pitfalls of malnutrtion and encourage them to read posts about starvation mode etc.
If they choose to ignore my advice then I dont post on their diaries anymore. They now know how I feel about it and therefore shouldnt expect me to encourage something I dont agree with.
That being said I feel I've done my job as a 'friend' and just support their exercise and other things. I've noticed that people that undereat dont stick around too long anyhow, so I dont need to delete them!
Good luck :flowerforyou:0 -
Could you send the person a message? Just say you see what's going on and you wanted to know what is up?0
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