sh!# my mom said...

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chocolateandvodka
chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,856 Member
in Chit-Chat
"those shorts are so short they should come with a hairnet!"

what did your mom/dad/aunt/uncle/relative used to say that made you laugh?
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  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
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    my mom tries to be hip and say stuff like "hell to the no" or instead of say $1 thousand dollars she says a grand. She also orders food crazy. It drives my sister and I nuts. For example she goes to Braums for a chocolate frozen yogurt in a waffle cone about 2 or 3 times a week. However she orders it this way "uh yes i would like a frozen yogurt in a waffle cone chocolate large". WTH MOM! lol
  • Krull_the_WarriorKing
    Krull_the_WarriorKing Posts: 650 Member
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    When it would rain my mom would ask me what I did to make god cry... I spent a lot of time in Therapy.
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
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    my mom tries to be hip and say stuff like "hell to the no" or instead of say $1 thousand dollars she says a grand. She also orders food crazy. It drives my sister and I nuts. For example she goes to Braums for a chocolate frozen yogurt in a waffle cone about 2 or 3 times a week. However she orders it this way "uh yes i would like a frozen yogurt in a waffle cone chocolate large". WTH MOM! lol



    that just cracked me up !!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
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    my mom tries to be hip and say stuff like "hell to the no" or instead of say $1 thousand dollars she says a grand. She also orders food crazy. It drives my sister and I nuts. For example she goes to Braums for a chocolate frozen yogurt in a waffle cone about 2 or 3 times a week. However she orders it this way "uh yes i would like a frozen yogurt in a waffle cone chocolate large". WTH MOM! lol



    that just cracked me up !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    she has now started to say "thats what she said". Its so oogie! Sometimes we just want her to be an old lady. lol
  • skittybang
    skittybang Posts: 1,525 Member
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    Back story - my mom's super superstitious for religious/whatever reasons -

    #1 - Bird flies into window. "You aren't going anywhere tonight" me - "Wth, why not?" mom - "something bad will happen " me - "Oh ya, how do you know" mom - "The bird hit the window."

    #2 - I was in middle school and bought a scary mask for Halloween. In the middle of the night my mom made my dad take that mask to the trash far away from the house. She believed it could possess us.

    #3 - mom - "Don't cut your hair on Sunday. It will never grow again"

    #4 - mom - "Don't stare at the moon! You'll go crazy"
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
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    my grandma would tell us not to watch dogs do it cause we will get the pink eye.
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,455 Member
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    man.... my fingers would fall off before I could tell you all the crazy stuff my mom says. Shes a bit coo-coo :laugh:

    She pronounces things funny too. Like Zink for sink, baby dowels for dolls, terlet for toilet, waRshington for washington. Drives me insane!!
    But like someone up there said - she tries to be cool in her speech and says things that fail miserably or end up being something naughty but she has no clue why I laugh.
    But I love her dearly
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,856 Member
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    Back story - my mom's super superstitious for religious/whatever reasons -

    #1 - Bird flies into window. "You aren't going anywhere tonight" me - "Wth, why not?" mom - "something bad will happen " me - "Oh ya, how do you know" mom - "The bird hit the window."

    #2 - I was in middle school and bought a scary mask for Halloween. In the middle of the night my mom made my dad take that mask to the trash far away from the house. She believed it could possess us.

    #3 - mom - "Don't cut your hair on Sunday. It will never grow again"

    #4 - mom - "Don't stare at the moon! You'll go crazy"

    omg i'm seriously cracking up!
  • skittybang
    skittybang Posts: 1,525 Member
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    omg i'm seriously cracking up!

    It's sick! She SERIOUSLY believes this crap!
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
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    my mom tries to be hip and say stuff like "hell to the no" or instead of say $1 thousand dollars she says a grand. She also orders food crazy. It drives my sister and I nuts. For example she goes to Braums for a chocolate frozen yogurt in a waffle cone about 2 or 3 times a week. However she orders it this way "uh yes i would like a frozen yogurt in a waffle cone chocolate large". WTH MOM! lol

    Ok, you need to start a blog!! "The sh&t My Mom Says!" ROFL!
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,455 Member
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    Back story - my mom's super superstitious for religious/whatever reasons -

    #1 - Bird flies into window. "You aren't going anywhere tonight" me - "Wth, why not?" mom - "something bad will happen " me - "Oh ya, how do you know" mom - "The bird hit the window."

    #2 - I was in middle school and bought a scary mask for Halloween. In the middle of the night my mom made my dad take that mask to the trash far away from the house. She believed it could possess us.

    #3 - mom - "Don't cut your hair on Sunday. It will never grow again"

    #4 - mom - "Don't stare at the moon! You'll go crazy"

    OMG! I think we have the same mom!! Scary masks, possessions, cant watch scary movies because those (fake) demons might come thru the tv.
  • robin52077
    robin52077 Posts: 4,383 Member
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    my mom tries to be hip and say stuff like "hell to the no" or instead of say $1 thousand dollars she says a grand. She also orders food crazy. It drives my sister and I nuts. For example she goes to Braums for a chocolate frozen yogurt in a waffle cone about 2 or 3 times a week. However she orders it this way "uh yes i would like a frozen yogurt in a waffle cone chocolate large". WTH MOM! lol

    my mom is an extremely annoying food orderer also...

    instead of a "large fry"...it's " one large sized order of french fries"

    or at the drive thru for coffee, instead of a "medium black" she will say " I would like to order a medium sized cup of black coffee to go with no sugar and no cream or milk"
    duh mom..it's a drive thru so it's obviously to go, there is no need to specify "cup of coffee", and "black" MEANS no cream or sugar!!!!!!
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
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    My son used to say " That taste so good it would make your tongue slap your brains out " !!!

    My brothers favorite was " Help,,, someone give me a band-aide...I look so sharp I may cut myself"!! <----hated when he did that !

    and the winner is........" EXCUSE ME >>DO YOU NEED A CONDOM, BECASUE YOU SURE ARE ACTING LIKE D*@K RIGHT NOW "!
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
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    OH and I almost forgot my sister classic :

    MY SISTER ORDERS A CHEESE STEAK AND SAYS IT LIKE THIS:

    YES, I WOULD LIKE A SMALL CHEESESTEAK WITH NO CHEESE AND KETCHUP !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    OMG WTF..I keep telling that is NOT a cheesesteak, its just a STEAK WITH KETCHUP!!!!!!!
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
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    Pretty is as pretty does...

    This was a classic....She would tell me no matter how pretty I was on the outside....it meant nothing if I wasn't trying to be prettier on the inside <3
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    Whenever I would say, "Mom, you know what?" She would reply, "No, I never met him." All the frackking time!!! It annoyed me to no end.
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
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    my mom hates cheese but orders nachos and says go easy on the cheese. WHY DONT YOU JUST ORDER CHIPS MOM? lol

    she brainwashed my sister to think cheese is disgusting and she will order things without cheese but that girl will tear up some chips and queso. Sister secretly loves cheese. I think she doesnt want to disappoint my mom. lol WIERDOS!
  • dayzeerock
    dayzeerock Posts: 918 Member
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    My brother and I have to buy our mom gifts on OUR birthdays? Why? According to her:
    I shoved your big *kitten*, ten pound heads out of MY BODY, so this day should be all about ME!!

    Ahhh....I love my mom!
  • Ireshgurl
    Ireshgurl Posts: 559
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    It was mainly my Dad in our house......

    I'd ask what was for dinner, his reply?? food. I'd ask what kind. again, his reply... the kind you eat. My dad was sarcastic like that, lol.

    "you look with your eyes, not with your hands" was a favorite when we'd go shopping, lol.
    "stick your lip out any further and a bird's gonna come **** on it" when i was upset and pouting.....
    and my all time favorite that i actually found myself using on my kid when he was younger....
    "if you want, i'll give you something to really cry about".
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,856 Member
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    Whenever I would say, "Mom, you know what?" She would reply, "No, I never met him." All the frackking time!!! It annoyed me to no end.

    ugh my stepmom does that. it bothers me to no end.

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