Ready to give up...

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dosesr4winners20
dosesr4winners20 Posts: 362
in Motivation and Support
I have to tell someone, i have been holding this in for roughly a year or so now. MFP is the only place where anyone knows I have PCOS. My hubby & I have been trying to have kids for over 2 years now and it's not working. i know it's me. kids are super super important to him and his family is putting more pressure on him b/c he's over 30 blah blah blah.

my dr. put me on birth control to "fix" the hormonal problems or atleast bring them down closer to normal. so that means a for sure no b/c of the pills. i don't know what to do and i have no one to talk too.

this is starting to cause me to be depressed more and more. i want kids too, i feel broken, and almost 100 lbs lost hasn't made my cycle normal or any of the other "promises" from doctors.

I also think i might have an autoimmune disorder. I tested neg. for lupus and RA. but waking up with sore joints and swollen hands covered in blisters isn't helping anything.

Sorry to carry on like this. I just don't know what to do any more.
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Replies

  • Scoochie1
    Scoochie1 Posts: 121 Member
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    PCOS shouldn't mean 'no babies'. Its a bit more tricky but women with PCOS have babies every day.
    Can you get a 2nd opinion?
  • trainerjoshharper
    trainerjoshharper Posts: 3
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    Don't give up....be strong and keep searchign for answers....it'll pay off eventually. :)
  • wutamunkee
    wutamunkee Posts: 440 Member
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    I hate to hear what you are going through. I wish you the best...
  • janet_pratt
    janet_pratt Posts: 747 Member
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    In a rush...late for work, but pm me later. Been there. I get it.
  • pamfin
    pamfin Posts: 169 Member
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    {hug} :flowerforyou:

    I'm sure someone will be along with some top advice soon but have you told the doctor how your feeling? Also, I know you might not want to make it all public, but how would you feel about telling people IRL about what's going so they back off and stop putting the pressure on?

    Edited to add: Wow! I'm a slower typist than I thought, there were no responses when started typing!
  • DiamondRubyMom
    DiamondRubyMom Posts: 147 Member
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    I'm praying for you. It sounds like you are going through some very difficult times. Do you have a religious leader whom you can talk to? He/she might be able to help you sort through your emotions and any solutions your faith may bring. God has not called all to be parents and he still loves you. If parenting is a must for you and your spouse, I personally know many happy couples who have adopted.
  • Scatterdragon
    Scatterdragon Posts: 225 Member
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    I know a few people that have PCOS and are pregnant, or have babies. Most of them used something called vitex to help stabilize their cycles. I could ask some of them for information for you if you would like.

    *hugs*
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Have you looked into adoption?
  • Falling_star
    Falling_star Posts: 204 Member
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    my friend has pco and has had one child, and is now pregnant with another after another 8 years of trying so it is not impossible it can happen, but it wont while you worring about it. you need to relax.
  • TOBUNNZYE
    TOBUNNZYE Posts: 29
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    I REALLY DIDNT WANT TO ANSWER THIS BUT - HERE GOES. WHY THE H___ WOULD SOMEBODY PUT PRESSURE ON YOU TO HAVE CHILDREN? THAT'S NOT AN OPTION FOR EVERYBODY, GOODNESS HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE THERE WHO CANT HAVE CHILDREN - DONT KNOW DO YOU? ITS TOO MANY TO EVEN TRY TO CALCULATE. I'M OLD SO I'M GONNA CALL YOU THIS - BABY, LIVE YOUR LIFE AND BE HAPPY. MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY EVEN IF YOU REALLY MAY NOT HAVE A BIRTH CHILD IN YOUR FUTURE. DONT ALLOW OTHERS TO BRING YOU DOWN. DONT ALLOW IT!!! NOBODY CAN BE MORE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU, YOUR HEALTH, AND YOUR HAPPINESS - THAN YOU YOURSELF. DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. LOTS OF LOVE AND LUCK IN YOUR LIFE.
  • LivLovLrn
    LivLovLrn Posts: 580 Member
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    have you tried a naturopathic dr? I found one I like and he helped me with a lot of things, including getting my hormones back on track. praying for you :)
  • dosesr4winners20
    dosesr4winners20 Posts: 362
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    I know a few people that have PCOS and are pregnant, or have babies. Most of them used something called vitex to help stabilize their cycles. I could ask some of them for information for you if you would like.

    *hugs*

    thanks for the tip. i took vitex for months as directed with not much success. i have also gone low carb, low sugar as directed with not much avail.
  • plumpjennifer
    plumpjennifer Posts: 2
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    the sore joints and blisters may be Raynauld's syndrome, also have you had your thyroid checked?? have them test for thyroid antibodies, alot of docs overlook this. in general, if you have one autoimmune disease, you probably have another. i know this may not help much with getting pregnant, but get yourself healthy first!! and the thyroid does control alot of hormonal stuff. good luck.
  • fatgirlslove
    fatgirlslove Posts: 614 Member
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    you keep you're head up! I hope that you acquire everything you desire. I'm praying for you!
  • Sumo813
    Sumo813 Posts: 566 Member
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    :frown:

    Sorry to hear that things are so rough for you right now, hon. All I can do is lend an open ear (or eyes, as it may be). I don't know much, if anything at all, about PCOS. But it doesn't sound like a very exciting thing, so the depression is understandable. I can also say a prayer that will hopefully be answered (I'm not devout by any means, but I do know that the power of prayer is REAL).

    Sending you great big hugs! I know it's not what you want or need really, but I'm sending them anyway. I hope that everything works out and you can get out of this depression funk.

    :flowerforyou:
  • MIMITIME
    MIMITIME Posts: 405 Member
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    The short answer is your husband's family needs to quit putting pressure on him. He may not realize it but the pressure put on him by his family is spilling over to you causing you to have more health problems as in depression. Maybe if you explain this to your husband he will explain it to his family and they will back off. My hopes are that the family would not want to intentionally harm the two of you. Just tell them the problems their well intended pressure is causing and surely they will understand that they are not helping. Congrats on your huge weight loss.
  • Wolf_Girl
    Wolf_Girl Posts: 5 Member
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    hEY

    Have you tried with bioenergy sessions? My mother does that and she has help many women get pregnant. For your cycle have you tried clay wraps l wraps on your lower stomach where the ovaries are. About your hands and joints have you tried Hypericum perforatum oil and Symphytum officinale ointment ? I used latin names because im from Croatia so we have names for this plants that can't be translated by dictionary.
  • dosesr4winners20
    dosesr4winners20 Posts: 362
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    the sore joints and blisters may be Raynauld's syndrome, also have you had your thyroid checked?? have them test for thyroid antibodies, alot of docs overlook this. in general, if you have one autoimmune disease, you probably have another. i know this may not help much with getting pregnant, but get yourself healthy first!! and the thyroid does control alot of hormonal stuff. good luck.

    thanks for the heads up. i'm going back to the doctor soon for a 2nd option and will be asking about this.
  • dosesr4winners20
    dosesr4winners20 Posts: 362
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    :frown:

    Sorry to hear that things are so rough for you right now, hon. All I can do is lend an open ear (or eyes, as it may be). I don't know much, if anything at all, about PCOS. But it doesn't sound like a very exciting thing, so the depression is understandable. I can also say a prayer that will hopefully be answered (I'm not devout by any means, but I do know that the power of prayer is REAL).

    Sending you great big hugs! I know it's not what you want or need really, but I'm sending them anyway. I hope that everything works out and you can get out of this depression funk.

    :flowerforyou:

    Thanks for your support as always sumo!
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
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    Have you looked into adoption?

    This is definitely something to think about if nothing else works. I was adopted. My parents were told they couldn't have kids, so they adopted me, then 3 years later adopted my sister (she's not my biological sister), then 3 years later they got pregnant with my brother, and 2 years later with my other brother. Then they finally said ENOUGH!

    I don't know what the situation was with my biological parents, but there are lots of kids out there in horrible situations who need a home. Not just in Africa or Asia, but right here in the US.

    Obviously adoption isn't for everyone, and it can screw up a kid's head, but it's better than the situation they likely would have been in.

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