Lost motivation..

ChubbyMIgurl

I feel frustrated and want to give up. I battle "food" every day and now, after joining MFP, realize that I think I really do have a food addiction. I eat when I am sad, I eat when I am happy and want to celebrate, I eat when I am bored, I eat when I get together with friends, etc etc etc. And when I am with people who don't center their world around food, I am thinking about food when hanging out with them...excited for the event to end so I can go get something to eat. I can eat healthy (and have been), track my calories and be under my calorie intake....but then the pounds still don't come off and I get frustrated and want to give up.

Anyone else who has been overweight their whole life experience this same thing? Looking to get feedback from someone who can relate to my situation and what was done to finally end the battle.... thanks.

slbeutler

I feel the exact same way. I have struggled with food since I can remember, even in Elementary School. We need to find something else focus on and find out why we have this strong pull towards food.

clarehodgson14

Yes, i get frustrated cos i eat when i'm happy, eat when i'm sad, eat when i get together with family and friends. Still stuggling but have done it in the past and will do it again. Determend not to get hung up this time and enjoy my life and get togethers. it's the everyday stuff i have to get over.

good luck on your journey

gmrgirl

I can't say I've ever had a food addiction. What *I* had was a very negative relationship with food. When I was happy, sad, depressed, alone, sick, tired, scared, anything - I turned to food.

Food never said mean things to me. Food always made me feel better. Food didn't "hurt" me (in the traditional sense). Food didn't hit me, say mean things to me, tell me I wasn't good enough, tell me how horrible a wife/friend/sibling or what a failure I was as a person. Food was just there and we got along fine.

It wasn't until I stepped away from my emotional relationship with food that I started to get a handle on things. Food is nutrition. Food is nourishment. Food is not support, love, acceptance, comfort or company. It took me 17 years to realize this. Please don't let it take you that long.

Find a support network. Find people who will support you unconditionally. Get professional help. When you start to find the wonderful gifts you have within yourself, you won't need food to reassure you that you are valuable.

ETA: I'm not a professional in this sense, but I offer to be your support network. If you want someone to talk to, to check in with, to converse with when things get bad and you're turning to food for emotional support rather than for nourishment, I offer to be a support network for you. If you have people closer to you (physically and emotionally) they may be a better choice, but if you don't have that, I will be there for you.

forsophia2009

I have been battling this for years. This year was a turning point for me though. I realized that every single time I had a bad moment (eating an extra slice of pizza, eating as an emotinal response, having a bad meal, etc) I would just give up and eat like crap for the next few weeks. When in reality, one bad moment shouldn't define your overall efforts. When I am eating because I'm happy/sad/whatever, I recognize it, realize it's just a moment in a long journey, and continue on my path.

trinychong

I have been dealing with the same issues my whole life, and I am only 28 BUT 28 years is enough to say enough! I never really thought it was an addiction until someone else pointed it out. All I can tell you is don't give up! I have been a yoyo dieter for sooooo...long and this is the first time I have decided to do things right. No diet pills, no starving, adding excercise etc. etc. I was in your position just last week. I felt hopeless and very frustrated at my 15lb loss in 2 months! I remember losing that weight in 1 month let alone 2!
After what I thought was going to be another bad week of no weight loss, I lost 2 lbs! I felt awesome!!! Weight might not drop off when we want it too but with patience it will! I have a LOOOOOONNG road ahead and even though my 17lbs is not much, I know its 17lbs I never have to worry about again! You deserve to get mad at your food pusher and say LEAVE ME ALONE! You are in control of your body and even though you have a bad day here and there its a matter of not giving up. This is a lifestyle change and it can stick as along as we don't give up! You can do it!

dianaskin

I can't say I've ever had a food addiction. What *I* had was a very negative relationship with food. When I was happy, sad, depressed, alone, sick, tired, scared, anything - I turned to food.

Food never said mean things to me. Food always made me feel better. Food didn't "hurt" me (in the traditional sense). Food didn't hit me, say mean things to me, tell me I wasn't good enough, tell me how horrible a wife/friend/sibling or what a failure I was as a person. Food was just there and we got along fine.

It wasn't until I stepped away from my emotional relationship with food that I started to get a handle on things. Food is nutrition. Food is nourishment. Food is not support, love, acceptance, comfort or company. It took me 17 years to realize this. Please don't let it take you that long.

Find a support network. Find people who will support you unconditionally. Get professional help. When you start to find the wonderful gifts you have within yourself, you won't need food to reassure you that you are valuable.

WOW! Very well put.

I agree that you have to start thinking about food as fuel. The first step is reconnecting with your body and LOVING IT. Once you respect your body, you'll be more focused on fueling it with more appropriate foods.

GOOD LUCK...and don't get discouraged by the scale. It's just a number. Take pictures and measurements and track your progress MONTHLY with how you look and how your clothes fit. The scale could change as much as FIVE POUNDS every day due to water retention, foods eaten, etc etc. I'm not even weighing myself anymore because it wasn't a motivating factor. My motivating factor is getting into a pair of pants that fit me so nicely last year. Then my next goal is to make those same pants too loose for me to wear! And that's gonna take MONTHS...not weeks. Think about this as a very LONG TERM journey...

girlypop

I really like food too. I wouldn't call it an addiction, because only when I'm watching my weight do I think about food constantly. The rest of the time I just enjoy lots of nice foods, and drinks too . I think for me, that's the problem, I don't discriminate enough. I find lots of tasty foods and eat all of them, just a little too much. One thing I've learned from dieting is to only eat foods you really want. Healthy foods are easy to want because you know they're good for your body, but that chocolate bar isn't so have a small piece and put the rest away. Better yet, is this lindor chocolate? because if it's not, I don't need it and I won't eat it. I'm proud to say I'm becoming a food snob.

moxette

Are you into books? Read "A course on Weight Loss" by Maryanne Williamson. I cried in the first chapter because it really hit home. It was a WONDERFULL read if you are ready to face your addiction and not let it control your life anymore. Some touchy feely spiritual stuff that I didn't buy into but overall some awesome info. I am a recovered compulsive eater 10 years later and it still improved my life today.

rodneyderrick

Who are all those lost, non-logging souls on your friend's list? They're like the walking dead. All I see is red. How can you be motivated when you've surrounded yourself with the unmotivated? You need to have a group of friends who logs every day, all day. If they eat, they log. Do you own a food scale? Do you weigh your foods? How many days a week are you going into red? You said that you dream of food all day, so I know you're going into the red. Going too far into the red will slow you down. With that said, get better friends, friends who log, the kind of friends who motivate.

ambercanfly

I completely understand this. I feel the same way at times.... but you can't give up. I know it's hard but you have to push through. You've gone this far, you can do more. Good luck and try not to get discouraged. Losing weight is hard but you're on the right path. You should be proud of yourself for that and for seeking help/support from others going through the same thing.

mom2enlp

I battled bulimia for almost ten years. For a very long time, food was the only part of my life I could control. Over the last couple of years since I split with and then divorced my ex-husband of 15 years, I have accepted that there are just some things about myself that I can't change, and I'm trying to make peace with that realization. Believe it or not, that was when I started losing weight. I weighed in at WAY over 300 lbs. with hypoglycemia and high blood pressure. I dropped below 300 before I even realized it.

I've been on MFP since the end of June, and it has given me the tools to manage what I eat without obsessing over it. If I really want something, I have it, and it usually isn't as good as I had hoped it would be! The biggest change in my lifestyle was getting up and getting my butt moving. I started walking slowly, and I've been building intensity, speed, and duration over the last month or so. I purposely walk in my neighborhood rather than going to the gym because I find it improves my mood and my stress level when I'm outside taking in the night sky and listening to music on my iPod.

I went to counseling and group therapy years ago to help work through my food issues. That may be something you want to consider as well if you really think you have an addiction. However, I went into an abusive marriage, and my weight skyrocketed because I simply didn't care anymore.

Don't allow yourself not to care. You are worth so much more than that. This is the scariest - and at the same time, the most amazing - thing you will ever do for yourself. As cheesy as it sounds, treat every day as if it was the first day of your commitment to lose weight. Whatever happened yesterday or last week is in the past and can't be changed, so why waste time and energy worrying about it? Just keep moving forward.

Don't know if this helped you at all, and if it didn't, I'm sorry. Feel free to friend me if you'd like another friend for support. I'll say a little prayer for you!

Shannon

Choclat_Pearl

Don't you give up! You can do this! I am in no way ignoring ur struggle but you have to give urself a fair chance...You 1st have to set a goal for urself a small goal....with that you will prove to urself that you can do it - and you can work hard towards something and get there...only you know what that is.

Who am I? Well, I am a prime example of what its like to have to face struggles, and challenges. I know what its like to have ur back against the wall and feel nothing is working out, why is this happening to me?, You don't know my story but, everything that comes my way affects me physically literally, and guess what somehow...I just going (God is the main reason i keep going) I know you don't know me but just Trust me for a moment...If I can keep going after "all I have been through' I KNOW YOU CAN!!

So, finish going through your Pity Party because that's what ur doing and pick urself up the difference between trying and triumph is a little umph...Tell urself ur going to try...Friend ME because I am not going to leave you alone! and lets get you re-motivated...K? :bigsmile:

MzBHavin = Sarah

jersey222

I was the fat kid in grade school and high school, then a few years in college I lost weight but then gained it back after. So for decades I have been a fat guy.

April of this year I decided I was going to stop doing what had never worked and just do whatever seemed to work. So now I try to get in aerobic exercise almost every day, and I try to eat the same number of calories by the same time each day (e.g., have 1500 left going into lunch, have 900 left when leaving work, eat a snack for dinner while I drive home leaving 500 and have zero by the time I go to bed). The foods vary but the pattern remains the same. I've lost 15 pounds so far.

But, as they say, the devil is in the details. What does it take on a day to day basis to accomplish that previous paragraph? Well, I quit the gym since I wasn't going very often at all, and spent $$$ for a good elliptical in my basement, and I also had to get rid of my work bench in the basement to make room, but my health is more important than my hobby. I also put my laptop on top of a bunch of stacked boxes and watch movies while on the elliptical. I needed to focus on foods that made me feel good and were doable within that calories/day (toasted bagel, protein shake, decaf coffee, fruit yogurt, fruit based candy like yogurt coated raisins, lean meat loaf, beans, grilled chicken breast, salmon, orange juice, diet root beer, water, instant oatmeal, three eggs and some bacon, low calorie ice cream in single serving size only, etc.) I have found that since I eat stuff I like within those calorie guidelines, I don't miss the food that I used to ***LOVE***. I won't list those foods since it might be a temptation to you, and I try not to focus on them. What it also took was the need to be diplomatic, forceful and (when they didn't work) rude to anyone telling me what I should eat. If they want to set food in front of me at a family function that is fine, but I am the responsible party when it comes to what goes in my stomach. Many, but not all, of my family and friends understand and accept my new strict approach to food. I try to explain that the more I eat with them, the less it leaves me to eat later. I'd rather not starve later just to make them happy. And when dining out there is usually other ways to adapt and compromise. Ask for a little off someone else's plate, or order an appetizer when everyone else orders a meal. I stick with the same basic foods so I know what the calories are, and avoid sauces or cheeses or complex meals since that would be difficult to judge.

This may seem like it was an awfully long answer to your question. Bottom line: yes, I have been fat almost all of my life, and I'm still 30 pounds away from my goal now. But now I don't look for motivation, I am driven by being sick and tired of not being the way I want to be, and being tired of trying to do it the way the rest of the (largely) overweight country is trying to do it. So now I do it my way and (so far) it's working.

FWIW

Gwooh

I am with you! I feel the same way from time to time. I'm trying my best to fall in love with the right foods...natural foods. I'm learning its just as easy to peel an banana as it is to open a little debbie oatmeal pie. Feel free to add me and enjoy my ups and downs! But I'm in it to win it!

I'm learning to get up and walk if I'm having a bad moment instead of pushing cake in my face! I'm learning to ride my bike and watch TV at night. I'm learning to walk before dinner. I'm learning to walk in and out of work every day. I'm learning to push myself physically. I'm learning what I put in this is what I get out of it!

And without my MFP friends I would have given up at least a 100 times by now!

jbeauchamp1

You are an emotional eater like myself and MANY others on this site. You are in the hardest part of the journey in my opinion and that is realizing you have a problem and finally setting your mind to get started. I struggled with thinking about all I had to "give up" when it came to food so much that I would quit so I do understand. One thing I had to finally do is admit it (which you did) and face it (which is your next step) and fight (which will be an ongoing battle). If you want anything bad enough you will fight for it. I know for myself when I wanted that candy bar or ice cream I would think nothing of getting in the car to go and get it well you have to apply the same principle and keep taking baby steps to overcome the hold that food is having on your life. If you have unresolved personal issues I would advise talking to someone about it so those do not continue to creep up and take hold. I had to come to a point that I changed my relationship with food and realized it is there to nourish not provide comfort and replaced it with people, activities, my faith...whatever I needed to fill that void.

My best advice after dealing with unresolved issues is surround yourself with support just like on MFP. When you feel the need to binge or eat something bad get on here and read success stories to keep yourself in check and remind yourself of what you are fighting for. You are worth it and you must believe that. If you need a friend add me and we can help each other along the way. Hang in there you have come to the right spot for support.