Getting Frustrated Worried and Need Advice

alexsmommy0412

Hi Everyone!

I have been on MyFitnessPal for awhile but have never really posted ot the forums. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and finally decided to take charge and lose weight. I started at over 300lbs and am now down to 239 (not completely with my fitness pal) but I have seemed to hit a stand still. I have finally started getting myself to the gym everyday but I weighed myself last tuesday and it was 239.7 went through the week and weighed myself this morning 239.7. I have floundered in the 240's and now 239 for quite awhile now. To say I was frustrated is an understatement. However I am a day or so off from my period and feeling bloated so maybe that is part of it. I am beginning to worry there is something wrong with my physically which is why I can't seem to get back into losing. (I read that Inulin resistance makes it difficult to lose weight but my dr. said I am fine even though it is always in the bake of my head.) Could I be losing inches but gaining muscle??? I think my flaw MFP is that I like to have Ice Cream at night or some kind of snack and I usually have the calories to do it. Should I cut that out and stop eating at night?

My husband is having the same issue he has started at over 400lbs and it is a real struggle for me to get him motivated to lose weight to begin with. Last week he was 389 now this week he is 392 and frustrated. I am wondering it it is some muscle growth for him as well. Who knows maybe our scale is wonky too it is a WW Conair and I have read maby bad reviews. but he likes a snack at night too and I am afraid he will give up. He is so stubborn it is frustrating he doesn't like it when I am on his back about what he is eating. He is the type I want what I want and so be it. We are from MA and want to go the Big E next week. I am tempted to say skip but it will turn into a fight. I suggested yesterday maybe he should stop the snack at night and he got grumpy with me. I am ready to scream at him. I will be 29 this year and he will be 30 and I think it is important that we set a good example for our son. I am beginning to realize that mfp is more than just getting a number of calories and staying within that but chossing the right foods and times to eat as well.

Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.

TIA

amiacrowder

Hi! I understand the getting frustrated part. I do have some advice for you, though. I would seriously skip the snack at night if it is less than 2 hours before you go to bed. If you must have a snack at night, try to make it a snack and not a treat. If I am really hungry at night I like a little whole grain cereal, nuts, or fruit. These usually take care of whatever craving or growling I have going on. I also check to make sure I have had enough water for the day. I feel hungry sometimes when I have not had enough. I hope this is at all helpful to you. God Bless with the journey ahead. Ami

fridayjustleft04

What are your calories set to? I stopped losing weight after having my cals set to 1200 for quite some time. I upped them to 1460 (1 lb a week), and the weight started coming off again.

jbdowns35

I am a night snacker too, but I'm starting to fix that by eating a later dinner. I eat all day, 5 or 6 times, small portions, healthy stuff. I try to have a late dinner & it has been getting easier to skip that bedtime snack. I'm finally to the point that I only have a treat once on the weekend, not everynight now! And it is something low cal, not the 600 calorie extra giant bowl of ice cream (my weakness) It sounds like maybe you just hit a plateau. Going to the gym is great keep it up, but really concentrate on your food, diet is 80% of weight loss. Keep pushing yourself, you'll get over the bump. Sounds like maybe your husband has motivation problems. Don't we all? Frustrating, I know, but you're his wife, so like it or not, you gotta keep pushing him if you want to grow old gracefully together. Keep pushing, he'll start loosing weight & the more he looses, the more the motivation will grow. Get rid of the snacks in your house. If your husband is reluctant to give up the bedtime snack, I guess he'll have no choice but to snack on some fruit or veggies. Make a veggie tray with low cal/low fat dip, cut up some fruit with zero cal coolwhip. If you want it bad enough, you have to make the life style change. and you will set an example for your son & your husband as well. Good luck & keep pushing!!

mommacat2012

I have struggled with my weight all of my life as well. But the last 5 years have been the absolute worst. I have a endocrine disorder called polycystic ovary disorder. It is not just one problem but many all in one big heading. For starters it is insulin resistance and the inability to metabolize carbohydrates properly.
As much as I love fruits, I must eat more veggies then fruit because fruit being high in carbs is a no win situation. The same goes for breads,pasta,ice cream, ect. So I struggle to eat a combination lower carb foods with more protein and fiber. When I was with weight watchers I gained and lost the same 10 lbs eating fruits and salad. Until I met with the Endocrinologist I felt like a complete looser. He was not lying when he said loosing wt. was going to be a challenge.
Keep up the good work. Keep exercising and maybe keep a closer look at your carb intake. Carbs come in many different forms.

Jade_Butterfly

Hi Tia:

You are doing great. . try not to get down on yourself. . Some of the top things that you can do is first and foremost cross train between cardio and weights, as the more lean muscle you build the more you will burn fat in your body. . this increases your resting metabolism, so that even when you are not working out you will be burning more fat.

*secondly. . I would say as far as the late night eating. . I would not eat past 6pm or something that is really light and measured. . That way your body has a chance to process it before you go to bed. . You don't want to be starving though. . . so some things that can fill you up are.

-veggies and hummus
-60 calorie puddings
-fat free popcorn

*make sure that you are eating all whole grains, fruits and veggies & drink at least 8 glasses of water a day. .

As far as your husband. . I know that you really want to see him get healthy as well, but in my experience he has to want it. . you can't do it for him. . .and as you see nagging him is just going to irritate him. . . So my advice focus on your journey and when he sees you making good decisions maybe it will spur him on. .

So take a deep breath know that you are doing a great job and keep moving forward!

The best of luck. . .feel free to friend me if you like,
Jade:bigsmile:

BuggaJr

Hi TIA,

You are doing so well! Don't give up! I know how frustrating it can be. I think you have just hit a plateau and it will just take some work and determination to push past it. At each stage of the game your body decides to do its own thing. We (our bodies) are designed to adapt to whatever is happening. That is most likely what it going on with you. I have done this a couple of times myself. You have to keep up the exercise and the food intake and allow your body to figure out what is happening. You may have to change your exercise routine. That is what keeps your body guessing and always working to adjust. If you don't do the same thing all the time it will never have that chance to adjust.

Snacking at night is not a good thing if it is too late and if it contains sugar. You are right about whatching what you eat not just the calories you take in. They have to be good calories and not empty ones like sugar, i.e. ice cream. I found that Atkins or Slimfast bars are great treats for after dinner while my husband and I are watching TV. It makes me feel like I am cheating but I'm not! Also know that your body needs carbs if you are exercising and protein if you are doing any strength training. Just be careful how much because they will turn to fat if you are not using them. Also, your brain and nervous system need energy and the only source they use comes from carbs so please don't eliminate those like many diets want to. No matter what fad is out there the food pyramid we all learned about in school along with exercise is still the best and easiest thing out there!

You are doing GREAT!!! Keep it up! Don't let your husband fall back either. Find something you can both do together and keep encouraging him. You can do this...Please give me a shout if you need a push! My hubby is a personal trainer so I can get answers from him, too! Best of luck and God bless!

Try reading the book, "Sculpting Her Body Perfect". It is just for women and is a great way to learn what are bodies are doing!

auntiebabs

This is a long process and your body will go through "fits and starts" you will plateau, but the good news is the slower you lose the more likely you are to keep it off. Because you're teaching yourself permanent eating habits rather than a temporary quick fix.

I've had some success with zig-zagging calories, though I haven't looked up the science behind it.

I also had to give myself a range rather than trying to hit one number exactly every day.
1200 cal was my rock botton
LOSE 1 lb a WEEK was my target
MAINTAIN GOAL WEIGHT calories was the high end of my range

As long as I'm within that range. I'll continue to lose weight.

(I also periodically check what my MAINTAIN CURRENT WEIGHT calories are... So even on a bad day I can take comfort in the fact that as long as I'm below this number I won't be gaining weight)

-- I'm a little anal and keep a spread sheet of my 10-day totals just to make sure I have more days under my target than over.
-- I try to track every little thing as accurately as I can, but when in doubt I over estimate my food and under estimate my exercise.

MariSama44

You're going to have fluctuations in weight, its typical. whether its period, water, muscle, fat, bloat, its never really crystal clear, and it wont be. All you can do is make the lifestyle change, make it permanent, and I promise you will see results. You are doing awesome so far, don't throw in the towel because you are nervous. Here are some tips for success:

When you gym, make sure you get in strength/weight training as well as your cardio. This will help you burn more calories in the long run.

Ignore the scale: just stay strong and know what you're doing is AWESOME and GREAT for you. you need this to grow as a person and to be a better mom for your son. You already know this, don't let anything deter you! Take measurements if you really want to know, but if you must weigh, do not take the number that seriously. this is what causes most people to quit. The number doesnt define you.

Butt out the negative thoughts. You may want to think you have some kind of problem with insulin, or something that's hindering you, but my advice is don't focus on it. Fear is a negative emotion and it will keep you from feeling accomplished and positive about your lifechanigng journey. Never let negativity and fear control you. you are the boss.

DO NOT eat at night. preferably 3 hours before bed. But seriously, this is one of the things that is really tough on your body. I have the same problem but not nearly as bad now. If you are ravenous and have got to eat, try a protein and a glass of water. Like, a hard boiled egg, or yogurt, cottage cheese...something thats mostly protein. Eating before bed sucks, but the worst thing to do is eat carbs and sugar before bed. If you want your body to be healthy, put healthy things in it. You are what you eat could never be more true.

Stop relying on others. I know this may sound cold, but bear with me its a really important thing. Your life is your own, and in order to better yourself who do you need to take care of? You. That's right, YOU'RE number one, before anyone. If you aren't taken care of, how can you take care of others? You need to make sure you are number one on your priority list before you sacrifice anything for anyone else. If your husband would rather sit on the couch and eat at night, then let him. Let him be fat, and leave him in the dust when you make the big change. Its hard to be around people who dont care when you're trying to focus on health I know, and its easier if someone does it with you..but take it from me, you CANNOT make people change. They have got to want it as bad as you, too. If you try to impose it on others (especially if they're grumpy about it) you will be dragged right down with them in the negativity. It may happen eventually but nagging him wont help and telling him what he should or shouldn't do wont help. Instead, focus on yourself and he will see the direction you are going...it is his personal choice to follow or not. It is not your responsibility. You can only guide someone when they want you to. I don't know what the Big E is but make YOUR OWN CHOICE not to go. Its hard, but it has to be done. Break away and do what you gotta do.


Anyway, I hope this helps a little. Most important of all for you is to stay positive! This wont happen all at once. you are changing the way you live, and you will change A LOT as a person. Please stick to it, the rewards are so great in the end. Good luck!

Troll

it could be bloating or muscle gain. When i started my fitness journey i weighed 90lbs with 35 inch hips and a 26 inch waist. Thank goodness i measured because i gained 20 lbs in a year, but overall lost around 12 inches. Whether your scale is off or not hardly matters, take measurements of arms, chest, waist, hips, and thighs and you will start to notice how much smaller you are getting. I am of the thought that a calorie at midnight is the same as one at noon, however not all calories are equal. if you are getting loads of sugar during the day, ice cream might not hurt in calories but in carbs and sugar intake. Everybody gets to a plateau, give it a little time (wait until your cycle is over) and if you stay stuck, change up you workout and play around with different snacks or no late snacks to see if it helps. Most of all, dont get down about it, mort peoples weight fluctuates or gets stuck now and again.

_gwen

You've made great progress so keep with it! Your pics definitely show the loss.

My SO is a big grumpy pants around food and any time he feels nagged or pressured into doing something he doesn't want to do. Even though he says he wants to lose weight. I let him do what he wants, as he says 'You're not the boss of me!' It's true, and it's enough work for me to battle my own weight issues. Best I hope for is that he sees me lose weight and that motivates him. Otherwise, I don't try to change him.

I do ask him to support *my* weight loss, which he doesn't see as nagging about his weight. That means supporting my food choices and not putting me in situations that make it difficult to make good food choices. That works pretty well.

I think you should plan your menu to keep your evening snack. I can't see your food diary, so I can't make any other observations. I have a piece of dark chocolate almost every night after dinner. I'm thinking about long term maintenance when I say, you've got to be happy eating the way you do right now or you won't be able to keep the weight off.

Sometimes I have a few extra calories because of exercise. If I do have ice cream, I get the single serving portions and I usually choose the sorbet because it has fewer calories than the ice cream, but that's a personal choice.

Plateaus in weight loss are normal, and frustrating. A common tip is to make a change in your activity level or food level. Do you drink 8 glasses of water a day? If not, start there. Yeah, your bladder won't be used to so much water at first, but after a few days you won't need to run to the bathroom quite so often. You'll notice you actually do get thirsty if you don't get enough water. Search the boards for 'plateau', there are lots of good suggestions out there.

Good luck and keep up the great results!

123456654321

You are going to receive a bunch of answers that are not really going to be helpful. To really receive advice that will be helpful you are going to have to give your full stats (height and weight), your exercise routine, how you are calculating your exercise calories and also open your food dairy so we can see whats going on there. People need all the info to give you helpful advice. Anything you receive without all the info is just puff.

alexsmommy0412

Thank You all for the motivation and support. I think I am going to shake things up a bit and see what happens. I do the treadmil for 45 min. most days and I think that needs to be changed up. I am prob just getting used to it now. Def cut out the snack at night I think it is more habit than anything else and get more water in. I realize I don't have all my stats open and honestly I forgot to do that before I posted. I am going to go in and see if I can do that now. Thanks again.