Were you a better person before the weight loss?

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  • inotnew
    inotnew Posts: 218 Member
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    I'm not very nice at times. I use to feed myself sugar to keep my mood up - not any more! Also, someone told me it was because I'm getting older (hormones or something). I called her a b*^#%, and left.
  • Sonchie
    Sonchie Posts: 259 Member
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    I believe when I first lost the weight, I was way more self centered. However, I learned a lot from that experience and have since taken on a whole new perspective. I know Im a much more understanding person now, but I believe it has to do more with spiritual maturity and life experience than weight. I do realize I was eating my feelings before but over the past 10 years or so, Ive dealt with my past and put it behind me. I am not who I was, Thanks to God.
    My husband and kids would probably back me up on this. :) They like the happier me.
  • sweetmeka238
    sweetmeka238 Posts: 16
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    It's funny, a friend and I were just talking about this.

    I am more outgoing, confident and willing to speak my mind when I feel better about myself. Feeling better can be smaller, having a really cute outfit on, nice hair style..

    But for me smaller definitely equals more confidence and a bolder me.
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
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    I wanted to ask this question without offending anyone. I have noticed that people get ego boosts it seem like and they go the other way. I've noticed it with people in real life. That's not my personality and never has been even when I was a large man like I am now. I am losing the weight and I hope I don't lose common decency along the way.

    While I am getting more energy and growing happier with each day and each pound gone, I don't want to turn into some of those people who look down upon others for life choices. I've seen it happen several times.
  • Lunachic77
    Lunachic77 Posts: 434 Member
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    I was a miserable PoS before I lost the weight. I was moody, sullen, a complete Debbie Downer and I hated everything and everyone...and it caused me to be a shut in. I had no interest in anything.

    Jump forward to now and I'm actually a "happy" person. I talk to people now and interact more. I'm pretty positive about things and I'm always out and about staying busy. I'm not sure if it's the endorphines or a new self esteem/confidence...but I feel great.
  • Shanna_Inc86
    Shanna_Inc86 Posts: 781 Member
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    I've been this weight before so I don't feel like I'm extra hot or anything...I feel comfortable. I'm more confident but its because I realized that it was more than my actual weight that was weighing me down and I've been working on that. I'm more honest than I was before but that's because I'm trying to cut the bull**** out of my life.

    I do have a friend however who has lost 160lbs. I'm very happy for her...she still needs to lose another 20 and is working on it but she's done a hell of a job. She's not as nice as she use to be though, much more self centered, and an attention *kitten*! She's become a bit of a drama queen and I've had to create some distance b/c she's exhausting. She's been dating these a-hole guys simply because she loves the attention and just making some poor choices. I've had to create distance simply b/c she is SO senistive and its hard approaching these subjects with her. I'm honest but I do still try and avoid conflict when I can.
  • Serenitytoo
    Serenitytoo Posts: 449 Member
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    I think some think I was better before because I was more passive and easier to use. :frown: Now that I have more confidence and can stand up for myself they don't like me so much anymore. :laugh:

    The people that really matter in my life say I am better now, better attitude, more confidence etc.
  • MrsB123111
    MrsB123111 Posts: 535 Member
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    I was a miserable PoS before I lost the weight. I was moody, sullen, a complete Debbie Downer and I hated everything and everyone...and it caused me to be a shut in. I had no interest in anything.

    Jump forward to now and I'm actually a "happy" person. I talk to people now and interact more. I'm pretty positive about things and I'm always out and about staying busy. I'm not sure if it's the endorphines or a new self esteem/confidence...but I feel great.

    I was the same way (although, your starting weight is my GOAL weight)! My fiance is very social, and I would make him take me home early when we were out of the house with our friends, or even if it was just the two of us. I would get terrible anxiety about leaving the house or trying to find something to wear because none of my clothes fit me. All I wanted to do was sit at home and watch tv and feel sorry for myself.

    Now, I want to go everywhere and do everything! I totally agree that the endorphines from exercise help with your mood. Not to mention, I'm not carrying around the weight of a large dog (I've lost 67 pounds, the weight of my German Shepherd)! I was definitely afraid of becoming stuck up or mean after losing the weight, but I think it's actually made me a BETTER person.
  • morenita71
    morenita71 Posts: 137 Member
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    interesting discussion. I can relate to a lot of what people are saying - I think it's hard not to feel a bit a judgmental of others who are overweight when you are doing this and being so conscious of every calorie you consume. I certainly don't think it's right and i try not to judge - it could just be jealousy that they are eating what they please whereas I am obsessing about everything. I think I would like to feel positive about being aware of what I eat without being compulsive.

    On getting attention from others - I have to admit I am aware that I become more flirtacious when I am slimmer. In my case it doesn't mean I want to trade my OH in for someone hotter (he's quite hot himself!) but I do like to receive attention from others. Some might think it's morally dubious but I'm quite relaxed about this - i'm not going to judge others on this and don't expect to be judged in return. On those posters who have referred to friends who have become "bar *kitten*" (NB i find that term really offensive though I must say) I think we need to acknowledge how much we are judged on whether we are hot (in the straight world I think this affects women more than men although I'm sure in the gay scene the same would apply). As women we are supposed to seek validation as sex objects first and then as mothers and if you're not interested in kids and are not "sexy" there's not a role for you to play that is validated by society. If anyone has read Fat is a Feminist Issue by Susie Orbach they might recognise this idea from that .

    Anyway - I've said this to a few of my MFP friends - we shouldn't forget that we're the same people inside and we shouldnt' hate our fat selves - it's really bad for for our self esteem and then perhaps as we lose weight we feel compelled to be different. I think it's a fine line because when we are trying to lose weight on one level we have to dislike ourselves to motivate ourselves but we shouldn't go too far. It's all a question of balance.
  • Baesaman
    Baesaman Posts: 37
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    ive always been nice, but now that i have a lot more confidence, some people might get it confused with being cocky and being an *kitten* lol and trust me im one of the nicest guys out there! just ask my gf :) hehe
  • spa9177
    spa9177 Posts: 327 Member
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    I think that I seem a bit more snottier to my friends and some family. Not the kids and husband, it has been awesome losing the weight it gives me more energy to keep up with them, and I can say to myself the kids don't have a fat mommy.


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  • otr12
    otr12 Posts: 632 Member
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    A lot more doors are being opened for me. I mean "doors" in the literal sense; not opportunities.

    I'm quite fond of this new treatment. There have been times, recently, where I stall in front of a door and wait for my husband to open it for me.

    Once I reach my goal weight, if there is a man present, I may give up opening my own doors all together. It might take me awhile to get in and out of some places. But I've noticed that since I am more attractive than I used to be it's much easier to merge in traffic, so hopefully it will all balance out.
  • Izable2011
    Izable2011 Posts: 755 Member
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    The more I lose the happier I am and more confident. :)
  • foremant86
    foremant86 Posts: 1,115 Member
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    Nope, same person if not happier and friendlier and more out going. Even though i still have a long way to go til my goal I'm finding more and more confidence in myself but also an ability to help others.

    I'll never understand why people who become fit suddenly think they can be b!tches or *kitten* holes...it's unreal but you see it happen all the time.
  • supertracylynn
    supertracylynn Posts: 1,338 Member
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    With the weight gone, I feel more confident and like I deserve more than being a doormat or someone to kick around, catering to others.

    I am still the same, outgoing person I was before, but people respond better to me now.

    Though I am now completely intolerant to those snotty to ride my coat tails to fitness, but bail after a few weeks, then complain about their weight and body. Screw them.
  • mrmarius
    mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
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    no. i'm better now, funny thing is before i gained weight i didnt have as much confidence in my self as i did after gaining, i guess i look better with a little weight lol.. but now after losing some i find myself willing to help others more and wanting to do more in life overall so i'd say i'm better now
  • damonmath
    damonmath Posts: 359 Member
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    I'd say I'm more compassionate to help others now than when I was heavier. I want everyone to know the secret and follow it so we can all be lean and mean. :)
  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
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    I was this rude and abrasive 45lbs ago.
  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
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    I was this rude and abrasive 45lbs ago.


    ...and I had to post about it twice.

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