eHarmony had made things worse!

LizC26

Let me suggest AdultFriendFinder.com There are lots of nice men on there....HAHA

TooFatToFit

I'm on too tight a budget to pay for a site right now, so I'm stuck with POF. lol I've never met anyone...I'm too scared because I'm so fat. I think I could get over that and do it, but we'd have to correspond awhile for me to get up the nerve and most guys want to meet after about 2 messages. Of the guys I've talked to on the site there were several that were pretty much illiterate and if you can't be bothered to reply in more than a 6 or 7 misspelled grunts...don't be bothered messaging me in the first place. A few seemed genuinely 'normal' but backed off real fast when they found out I am a 5' tall BBW, and/or am going back to school (read: unemployed). One guy wanted to talk about my weight excessively...at first I was happy he seemed to be okay with it, but after awhile it started to creep me out. I'd try to change the subject and he'd always bring it right back to that.

Good luck! I'm 35 and haven't dated since I was 18 (if you can even call that dating, since then we pretty much picked love interests out of existing social circles...which there are a lot less of when you're a single mother). To be honest, I don't want to be alone forever but I'm scared ****less of the dating world.

eillamarie

I met my boyfriend on plentyoffish! I had to weed thru a lot of guys who weren't worth a second of my time & were just out to play games, but eventually I did find a great guy! Be extremely picky if you use this site!! However, some of my best guy friends are actually guys I met on there!

Warning: meeting men online gives them extra opportunity to be super pick about appearances. There are so many women online that they think they can always find somebody hotter, regardless of how great they think your personality is.

Huskeryogi

Warning: meeting men online gives them extra opportunity to be super pick about appearances. There are so many women online that they think they can always find somebody hotter, regardless of how great they think your personality is.

I have to admit - this isn't just men. I think I look at the pictures a little more than I should. I almost feel like everyone on an online dating service messages people who are 1-2 notches above them on the attractiveness level.

Can I also say how sick I am of 50 year old guys messaging me. I'm 30 and not interested.

Dolphingirlie81

Warning: meeting men online gives them extra opportunity to be super pick about appearances. There are so many women online that they think they can always find somebody hotter, regardless of how great they think your personality is.

I have to admit - this isn't just men. I think I look at the pictures a little more than I should. I almost feel like everyone on an online dating service messages people who are 1-2 notches above them on the attractiveness level.

Can I also say how sick I am of 50 year old guys messaging me. I'm 30 and not interested.

Haha I"m guilty at looking at the pictures more then I should. And yes those 50-60 yr old men that email. Creepy!

Jenn152

I met my BF on POF and weve been together for a year now . that site is fine if you put it out there EXACTLY what you are looking for and you dont play coy about it when somone gets too "intense" too soon... obviously that guy is just lookin to get laid. so you just have to grow a pair, and be honest from the get-go about what you expect and what you are willing to give hang in there! just like with any other attempts at dating, you gotta weed through some *kitten* to get to an amazing guy! :smooched:

Alycra

I met my husband on a "dating" site. I say dating losely.

I was seperated from my ex, but had 2 young kids that made it impossible to go out and meet people.
I went to FriendFinder, mostly to chat and stuff. I wasn't really looking to meet someone or date someone there. But the idea of flirting and people hitting on me was appealing :P (self esteem had bottomed pretty low because of the seperation and all).

One night he came into one of the chat rooms just looking to "cause trouble" We talked for awhile on their site. Then took it to one of the usual messengers. And then things just kept progressing.

I think the best way to use dating sites is as "exposure". I have my doubt that a computer is going to find my match. I know for a fact that had I used any sites match making, they would have never found him. I am not sure if I had described what I was looking for I would have found him.

I think it was just fate. Just like meeting someone in an elevator.

I wish you luck!

josies1981

Hiya chick, pmsl at the way you described it!!! My mom and a couple of her friends have found love on there, also some of my friends. It must be the way forward now for most people as life is very time consuming and it can be hard to go out and meet people. I wish you loads of luck and i'm sure you wont have a problem meeting mr right.

Jade_Butterfly

Hi, I would talk to admin about how the choices are coming through and that they really aren't lining up with what you wanted. . . My brother met his wife there. . .

Beautiful really sweet girl. . their birthdays are only a day apart. . lol. . They have been married a long time now. . Hope this is encouraging. Good luck in your quest. . . my advice pray about it. . there is someone perfect for you out there and it will happen.

raevynn

I met my best friend online... at a chat site (worldvillage.com, back in the day)... we were just friends, hanging out online, sharing our sorrows and joys... helped each other through our respective divorces, talked about our kids, and proof-read each other's dating ads for match.com.

We also called each other and complained about the dates we ended up with. A few nice ones, a few jerks, etc. Neither of us was really doing well out there in the dating scene.

Yup, fell in love. We've been married 12 years now. My only real advice is stop looking for dates. Make some friends. :happy:

sarah44254

I was single for about 6 months. I messaged a guy that I played WoW with that I was interested in getting to know him better, and it kinda scared him, I think.

I was just about to try and date an 'ok' guy from Canada or something crazy when the original guy finally sent me a message back a month or two later. He was just so surprised that any lady would want to date a gamer dude who sat around eating pizza between work days.

We have a month left, then we'll have been dating for 4 years.

I tried those websites, they matched me with horrifying looking men, or men with wildly different views (different like if I say I like kids, their profiles say 'and if you mention a child I will run to the hills and lock myself in a pit!' different.) I had just about given up on dating sites and meeting folks and was going to settle for mr.OK that I mentioned earlier but it ended up much better for me.

Maybe just taking a month or two away from the dating sites will land you into the arms of a great guy by chance, like it did me? Keep trying, you are a lovely looking woman, and your sense of humor is outstanding.

LovesNoodles

heyyyy your post was too funny LOL
I actually met my current BF on eHarmony and last Saturday I went to the wedding of another couple who met on eHarmony...I think online dating can work GREAT! You just need to be patient and weed through all the idiots! Some of us are luckier then others...I didn't have to weed through anyone...met my bf in the first week but my good friend has been on eHarmony for 9 months and she didn't meet a decent guy until last month!!! So now she is dating a doctor LOL I guess that was worth it!!!! Anyway it's tough to weed through all the rejects out there LOL I am 5 ft 3 as well and because I didn't specify height they kept setting me up with short guys...and well I haven't dated a guy the same height as me since I was 15 years old LOL I think you can change the height setting no?

Anyway, I hear your frustration and wish you the best of luck in finding a new man, weeding through all the idiots...hopefully you will snag a doctor like my friend in the end!!! LOL

JE55Y

I tried datingdirect.co.uk, which is basically match.com under another name. Had a few dates from the site, but found that the guys on there can't converse very well. They say the same, "hello, how are you," and nothing really original. Then when you meet them they aren't really as perfect as they seemed.

My dates:

Number 1)Wanted to change me into someone I'm not. He also liked to spent a lot of time in tea rooms. Also talked on and on and on about historical facts.

Number 2)expected me to pay for the cinema, told me he had no money left. Got very very moody with me and gave me the silent treatment.

Number 3)another one who talked and talked and talked. But this time didn't let me contribute to the conversation. When I spoke, his eyes glazed over. He also held his hand out waiting for my money for my drink when we were at the bar and didn't give me my change.

Number 4)seemed perfect. Ver adventurous, loved the outdoors. Unfortunately he stunk of sweat on our first date and things just went down hill from there. He started planning my life, told me I was to attend a wedding with him and told me what to wear.

Number 5)thankfully number 4 was the last one....

Single = hassle free life

Lol... Men are nightmares!!!

Qarol

Years ago, I spent an obscene amount of time filling out the eHarmany profile questionnaire. Only to have them tell me I was unmatchable. Rude much?

I got the same response on an on-line dating site once. Nice way to boast some ones ego. "We're sorry, there is nobody in our database that is compatible with you at this time"

I could handle that. What made me want to punch someone was they wouldn't allow me to even open an account and wait for a potential match. They simply said that 1 in 5 people who sign up are unmatchable and left it at that. Sorry for the inconvenience.

aegira

Apparently my excessive video game reference and love of cheese products does not lead to matching with attractive men!

Firstly: It is awesome that you are a gamer, I love mmo's and have met some awesome people online gaming :bigsmile:
Second: I met my BF on eHarmony, nearly a year ago. We started with emails and then phone calls, our first call lasted 3 hours :noway: It blew me away how easy he was to talk to and the calls kept coming, we have talked about our likes/dislikes, even had a "warts and all" conversation. I joined the site because my sister (who doesn't have a computer) asked me to check it out for her :laugh: Ooops sorry sis this guy is mine

I have laughed a lot looking at the 'potential' matches, one guy said that he wanted his 'match' to understand that he was always going to be the smartest in the relationship :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I wish you all the best with the dating issue it is scary to get back out there especially as a single parent or as a 'mature' aged person I'm in my 40's. Take your time, you are worth it :flowerforyou:

catherine4211

My daughter told me I better re-take the questionaire because all the guys E-Harmony matched me with were AWFUL. Not one was I remotely attacted to. Match was the best place to meet men who were total looney birds. Never tried Craigslist but I've looked and got scared. So now I haven't been on a date in over a year.............you are not alone in this!!!

catherine4211

A friend and I tried Eharmony at the same time. We kept joking that everyone they sent us looked like Lumberjacks.

LOVE IT - I have tears rolling out of my eyes from laughter!!!

catherine4211

I had a friend on mine that tried match before and it matched her with her ex. needless to say she deactivated her account...lol

Match matched me with my ex-husbands best friend!!!!

Cadenpet

So sorry your experience has been fail. And you had me cracking up btw. I personally haven't used the dating sites, but I work with a girl, she's really cute she's a pharmacist. And her sister bought her subscriptions to Match.com and eharmony for her graduation gift. She matched with a guy one Match.com and she thought it was cute, a cop, he emailed her. A few days later they matched on eharmony. They emailed for quite a while before starting to talk on the phone.

And they just bought a house together. So yes, it can happen! Have you tried anything in maybe your town like speed dating? Had a friend say it was actually really fun. Or there is a website that does meet ups for different hobbies and interest. Everything from book clubs to hiking groups, one of my friends met a guy doing that. And hey only the ones you have at least one thing in common with show up right?

wickedcricket

HATE HATE HATE online dating sites- All those men want is to hook up for anonymous sex. ICK!
IF you want to meet nice, eligible men, take an automotive class - nowdays LOTS of guys take cooking classes. Wine tasting; church socials. And here's one u might not have thought of (kind of sneaky if you don't have kids) kids sports activities - single guys coach kids - I know one who does - they coach soccer, kids baseball & football. You'll find them at the practice field, usually their games are on Saturday afternoon (so dads won't miss the games on tv sunday)
also check out the dog park

lilRicki

HATE HATE HATE online dating sites- All those men want is to hook up for anonymous sex. ICK!
IF you want to meet nice, eligible men, take an automotive class - nowdays LOTS of guys take cooking classes. Wine tasting; church socials. And here's one u might not have thought of (kind of sneaky if you don't have kids) kids sports activities - single guys coach kids - I know one who does - they coach soccer, kids baseball & football. You'll find them at the practice field, usually their games are on Saturday afternoon (so dads won't miss the games on tv sunday)
also check out the dog park

that's a little judgemental...men are on there for the same reasons we are...sure there's dirty pervs, but there's dirty pervs everywhere. Not once did I go out with a guy because he was pimping himself out on POF...and I dated a few off there. And I found the love of my life on there. He was there because he was a single father of a 5 year old, and no one to babysit. Plus he worked his *kitten* off every day, so he didn't have a social life. I'm sorry but you seriously offended me with this ignorant statement.

TooFatToFit

HATE HATE HATE online dating sites- All those men want is to hook up for anonymous sex. ICK!

I have to disagree with this as well. The way I look at it is...if I'M a decent, normal, regular person looking for a stable long term relationship, why would there not be decent, normal, regular men looking for a stable long term relationship? The way we lead our lives today often makes it hard to meet others regardless of gender. Surely not only women feel that way.

Dolphingirlie81

HATE HATE HATE online dating sites- All those men want is to hook up for anonymous sex. ICK!
IF you want to meet nice, eligible men, take an automotive class - nowdays LOTS of guys take cooking classes. Wine tasting; church socials. And here's one u might not have thought of (kind of sneaky if you don't have kids) kids sports activities - single guys coach kids - I know one who does - they coach soccer, kids baseball & football. You'll find them at the practice field, usually their games are on Saturday afternoon (so dads won't miss the games on tv sunday)
also check out the dog park

That's not true. Although I haven't met the "right one". I have met some respectable guys on there. And it's also goes for women. There are some women just looking to hook up for sex. So that's is kinda bias. And I would like to know how two people can have anonymous sex?? Did you mean the word discreet?

Sweet13_Princess

I tried the online dating through some of the more popular sites. When I did meet up with two guys on two dates, they were basically after a booty call. It really turned me off of the whole thing. I ended up looking at MySpace and doing a search for people in my own area and age group. I read through some profiles and messaged some guys that seemed nice. I met my husband that way!

Shannon

^^^This is EXACTLY what I did. I searched MySpace like you did, and found my significant other this way. We've been a happy couple for three years.

We just got married three months ago... I look forward to three years with him!:-D

Shannon

catherine4211

HATE HATE HATE online dating sites- All those men want is to hook up for anonymous sex. ICK!

I have to disagree with this as well. The way I look at it is...if I'M a decent, normal, regular person looking for a stable long term relationship, why would there not be decent, normal, regular men looking for a stable long term relationship? The way we lead our lives today often makes it hard to meet others regardless of gender. Surely not only women feel that way.

I agree with you that if I'm a normal, decent, stable person there should be men on the dating sites like that as well......but I'll be damned if I could find just one!!!

greenmisty

I tried them all, lavalife, eharmony, plenty of fish. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I met my current bf on POF. I definitely had to go on some really bad dates, but it was worth it to find him. It just take a bit of perseverance. He had just as much trouble meeting people as I did. And he's amazing. So there are good guys on those sites. And the attractive thing is important, but you have to give them a chance. Sometimes they aren't the most photogenic but if you're willing to meet them, they may be more attractive in person. And their personality may make them more attractive too. If there's something about his profile that you like, maybe give him a chance in person. Can't hurt.

Nina74

I tried them all, lavalife, eharmony, plenty of fish. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I met my current bf on POF. I definitely had to go on some really bad dates, but it was worth it to find him. It just take a bit of perseverance. He had just as much trouble meeting people as I did. And he's amazing. So there are good guys on those sites. And the attractive thing is important, but you have to give them a chance. Sometimes they aren't the most photogenic but if you're willing to meet them, they may be more attractive in person. And their personality may make them more attractive too. If there's something about his profile that you like, maybe give him a chance in person. Can't hurt.

Oh, I have given a lot of guys chances because I liked their profiles, but men quickly dismiss you if you are overweight, Bbw, whatever you want to call it. I can't tell you how many times on eharmony, etc, I would get into great conversations with men, we would be clicking and as soon as they saw my pictures, suddenly they would be not interested, taking a "break" from dating, etc. Or suddenly on the date things weren't as connected as before (not at all because of personality connection).

sistermooooon

Apparently my excessive video game reference and love of cheese products does not lead to matching with attractive men!

oh my goodness, you are hilarious!!! I'd date ya!!! LOL I wish you luck in your hunt. I'm a single mom to three kids and dating has been stalled for quite some time due to those little buggers and an excessive amount of weight did not help the situation much either. I'm going to continue reading everyone's comments and suggestions and see what I can take away.

voltigeur

When I was single the best thing I ever did was check out Toast Masters. THis is a group of people learnign about public speaking. The particular chapter was tied to a singles group. The women were attractive, smart and fun to hang out with. I met my current G/F right about the same time I started with this group but had that not happened there were several ladies that were very intersting.

As a guy I hate the online dating scene. Would rather be out doing the things I like to do and meet real people.

maillemaker

Oh, I have given a lot of guys chances because I liked their profiles, but men quickly dismiss you if you are overweight, Bbw, whatever you want to call it. I can't tell you how many times on eharmony, etc, I would get into great conversations with men, we would be clicking and as soon as they saw my pictures, suddenly they would be not interested, taking a "break" from dating, etc. Or suddenly on the date things weren't as connected as before (not at all because of personality connection).

Guilty!

There is no doubt that physical attraction is a big deal, especially for guys. When I was doing the online dating thing, I would only select the check boxes for "slim", "fit", and "athletic". I'm sure there are guys out there who don't care about looks, or who are attracted to overweight women, but they are probably a minority.

Which is why we are here.