eHarmony had made things worse!

maillemaker

Back when I was single and the internet was new I did the online dating thing. Back then (mid 90's) it was mostly men online or men pretending to be women.

I probably went out on dates with 5 or so women from online dating. I was using the Yahoo Personals. A couple seemed ok but I never asked them out on second dates. The whole thing was too awkward for me.

My advice to people is to get involved in an activity group. This way you automatically share a common interest. It could be anything. Book club, hiking club, scuba club, camping club, car club, motorcycle club, model train club, reenacting group, play group, you name it.

BondBomb

freaking hilarious post!

A friend of mine did eharmony and didn't meet anyone worth mentioning. After that, she tried speed dating and met a few guys. She liked that she got to see them right away (instead of being fooled by a great picture that looked nothing like them). Maybe you can find out if there's any of those events in your area.

I met my husband at Discount Tire...of all places! Keep your eyes open....there are still good men out there! Plus, pay attention when you're out and about, you're probably getting checked out a lot more than you realize!!

I DO need new tires!
I met so many more men when I lived in San Diego. Everyone is always outside or just out and about. I always try and look decent when I go to the grocery store or even when I am in the airport (I travel frequently for work). But I just dont seem to be one of those people that gets approached a lot. It might be because I look *****y. Gotta work on that!

And for the record - I would like to thank everyone for being so cool and laughing with me about this. I just didnt expect to be single again at this point in my life!

Edited because *****y was bit**y...not slutty. Slutty would probably increase my chances.

Huskeryogi

I'll second the speed dating recommendation. Not because I've had any success, but it takes 2 hours and you meet 10 guys instead of one. It's more efficient. Plus I've made female friends there. My suggestion if you go is to have some random questions prepared because the same questions get asked by 80% of the population. You'll stand out if your first question isn't
"Have you ever gone to speed dating before?"

foremant86

I've tried POF and Okcupid and also match.com for a bit and had no luck. Met a few guys but they were either losers or just wanted a booty call...so lame.

Ok ok i guess I did find one good man on there but he's working out of state and though we still talk to each other I don't know if the possibility of dating is there or not due to his work and my work as well( we actually do the same work but there's no gurantee of being on the same job site or even state for that matter...sigh)

So for now i've given up on dating sites and I figure i shall take this time to focus on myself and getting my life on track and then i'll worry about finding a man or maybe i'll get lucky and one will just fall into my lap haha.

TromaRon

Apparently my excessive video game reference and love of cheese products does not lead to matching with attractive men!

Haha!!! I love this realization!

pixlamarque

I tried Match. I got plently of emails such as "Hey, wanna f***?"--usually misspelled and from guys in photos wearing no shirts or dirty looking shirts--so sexy, such a turn on. I usually responded with "Sure, just not with you. Ever.". I am sure there are some great people on the free sites but to me they had too many guys that were just looking for a booty call without the cost of drinks at a bar. Online was best for me because I had recently moved back to New Orleans and didn't have any friends (and it was immediately post-Katrina so what few friends I did have were scattered) and the bar scene just wasn't appealing to me.

Eventually I met my sweetie on Chemistry.com after I had totally given up on online dating (for about the 4th time). He was from a town an hour away and his profile was pretty generic, so I ignored him (because why would I want to meet anyone from somewhere as sucky as Baton Rouge and no way am I ever going to drive there......). He sent me a nudge as a reminder and I thought "what the hell, I'm going to delete this profile anyway, might as well meet one damn person for money/time". And two years later that is the best $60 I ever spent. I didn't think they made men like him any more. I thought they broke the mold when they made my dad. I don't know that it works for everyone, but I know that there is no way in hell that I would have met him any other way. And yes, Baton Rouge still sucks, but I'd live in worse places for him.

MrsSpratt

First of all, you are hilarious!

I tried internet dating for a while and all that came from it was that I had about a million first dates and some pretty funny and strange stories. I ended up meeting my husband on a common interest message board. That ended up being a much better place to meet people on-line, because you end up posting together and goofing around and it's a bit more organic than going on a site specifically to find a potential mate.

Also I agree with the person who suggested speed dating. It gets you out and talking to a bunch of people in a short time period.

cdstadt

I DO need new tires!
I met so many more men when I lived in San Diego. Everyone is always outside or just out and about. I always try and look decent when I go to the grocery store or even when I am in the airport (I travel frequently for work). But I just dont seem to be one of those people that gets approached a lot. It might be because I look *****y. Gotta work on that!

And for the record - I would like to thank everyone for being so cool and laughing with me about this. I just didnt expect to be single again at this point in my life!

Edited because *****y was bit**y...not slutty. Slutty would probably increase my chances.

For real though, you look amazing! Not crappy at all. And I really think that it depends on where you are for that kind of social interaction. Strangers just don't talk to one another very much in certain places. Or it takes a strong instigator and a lot of people just don't have that in them.

kristinaohno

free dating site: okcupid.com
that's where i met my boyfriend and i couldn't be happier.

Hellbent_Heidi

I DO need new tires!
I met so many more men when I lived in San Diego. Everyone is always outside or just out and about. I always try and look decent when I go to the grocery store or even when I am in the airport (I travel frequently for work). But I just dont seem to be one of those people that gets approached a lot. It might be because I look *****y. Gotta work on that!

And for the record - I would like to thank everyone for being so cool and laughing with me about this. I just didnt expect to be single again at this point in my life!

Edited because *****y was bit**y...not slutty. Slutty would probably increase my chances.

I think I always put that vibe out there too...in fact, my now-husband talked to me for like 20 minutes in the Discount Tire waiting room before it dawned on me that he was probably going to ask me out. He wasn't the kind of guy who usually talked to me at all, so it threw me for a loop. I honestly didn't think we had anything in common, but went out with him for 2 reasons...1) he could carry on a conversation, which seems rare these days, and 2) he looks a little like Val Kilmer (from back when he was still cute - not the bloated Val Kilmer we see now)

I'm so glad I didn't rule him out and he turned out to be an amazing boyfriend and husband.

Nina74

Haha. I am laughing because I loved your whole post!!!!

It seems (or least here in Boston) men want the "perfect" package and I'm not physically perfect. Even worse, in a city of smarties, being smart isn't even "enough".

So I perfectly id with your rant!

(and will help you with the poop packages to those who reply "I'm so glad i don't have to date anymore")

N

Moofey

I actually found my current boyfriend on POF and my friend found hers on POF they were the best guys we have ever had and continue to be to this day. It just took alot of patience and awkward dates to find the right man. Keep trying! I hope you find a site that works for you!

Moofey

Haha. I am laughing because I loved your whole post!!!!

It seems (or least here in Boston) men want the "perfect" package and I'm not physically perfect. Even worse, in a city of smarties, being smart isn't even "enough".

So I perfectly id with your rant!

(and will help you with the poop packages to those who reply "I'm so glad i don't have to date anymore")

N

Love it!

Dolphingirlie81

Haha. I am laughing because I loved your whole post!!!!

It seems (or least here in Boston) men want the "perfect" package and I'm not physically perfect. Even worse, in a city of smarties, being smart isn't even "enough".

So I perfectly id with your rant!

(and will help you with the poop packages to those who reply "I'm so glad i don't have to date anymore")

N

Haha so true. Have you noticed the one that are seeking the "perfect" package. Doesn't even have the "perfect" package themselves?

Nina74

I have to add that I have tried all the sites and after awhile you come up with the same people over and over again (or maybe I am a loser magnet?).

My friend (very skinny & attractive) was matched up on Eharmony with someone who claimed to be a "Lawn Care Specialist" and went on and on and on about his love of grass. We didn't know if he was simply a landscaping guy who loved lawns a little too much, someone who loved the herbage a ton, or it was a sexual reference. Our online dating provided plenty of entertainment (and thankfully no psychos).

I can't believe and I'm sorry for the people who were said to be "unmatchable"!!!!

I'm sorry you aren't here. I have a friend who is very nice and he loves African-American women!

Nina74

[/quote]

Haha so true. Have you noticed the one that are seeking the "perfect" package. Doesn't even have the "perfect" package themselves?
[/quote]

Totally! After all the drama in the forums, I am scared to bring up how they usually had other package deficiencies! :laugh:

josaleigh

I met my fiance on plentyoffish.com...8 months going strong with our wedding in October 2012.

That being said, think I just got lucky. Someone who had my interests stumbled across my profile, which was very blunt and to the point. I listed what I wanted and what I could not tolerate (as a single mom and divorcee). He liked my honesty and we emailed a couple of times. What really sold me on the first meeting was phone conversations, though. If they aren't willing to really talk for more than a few mins about interests, likes, and dislikes..they may not be looking for what you are looking for.

It's about meeting people, because the only way you will find that person is if your out there. Not necessarily hunting someone. but being open to new people in your life. If you aren't open to meeting the few wrong people, you aren't ready to meet the right one.

Cruz2Fit

I too will PM u later for my cat-poop envelope.... Your post had me literally LOL!!!! If I were 1) a man, 2) in your area and 3) single, I would date u!!!!! Your baby will grow up soon, hang in there my sistah...

MrsSpratt

I have to add that I have tried all the sites and after awhile you come up with the same people over and over again (or maybe I am a loser magnet?).

This happened to me, too. I had one guy call me a b*tch and then message me a while later on another site, not realizing we had already met. lol

lilRicki

I found my fiance on plenty of fish,...but trust me I went through some duds first. He was a single, full time daddy of a 5 year old when I met him. we've been together for 4 years. hang in there, if anything POF lets you check out hot men all day.