Dating and weight?

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mejustmichael
mejustmichael Posts: 109 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I was talking to this guy I meet on a dating website, he was amazing in every way. We started talking about weight and he seemed a bit odd after. A few days later he just stopped texting and calling kind of out of the blue. Things were going really well we talked for hours every night and never got board. Now maybe its a gay thing but it seems all of my issues would be solved if i was a size 32. I just cant get the idea of my weight being the issue. It brings me to tears. Its like no one can ever see past it. =/

Replies

  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
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    It's not a gay thing.....same thing happens to me. I figure those people are NOT worth our time!
  • adjones5
    adjones5 Posts: 938 Member
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    It has nothing to do with your sexual orientation it has everything to do with people who are superficial *kitten* holes who don't even deserve to be talking to someone as amazing as yourself.
  • cmsu64113
    cmsu64113 Posts: 474 Member
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    Happens all the time! last time I went out I was told the new skinny is 5'8 120lbs! if I want to get someone! I didnt even know what to say!
  • daniface
    daniface Posts: 338 Member
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    It has nothing to do with your sexual orientation it has everything to do with people who are superficial *kitten* holes who don't even deserve to be talking to someone as amazing as yourself.

    i second this
  • fionat29
    fionat29 Posts: 717 Member
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    It's definitely not a gay thing, a lot of people go through the same thing. Some people, men AND women are so shallow that they really cant see beyond the weight issue. I consider myself sooo lucky to have met the man I later married because I was over 168lbs when we started dating and that weight went up to 217lbs after we were married. All the way through all he's ever wanted is for me to be happy in myself. He is one in a million though.
  • yannasmommy145
    yannasmommy145 Posts: 205 Member
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    ok first off if he blew u off just cuz of your weight he definetly is not worth it. i had the same thing happen to me a couple of times and in the long run i realized they werent worth it. especially not u crying over it. what u need to think of is how u have lost over 30 pounds. not everyone can do that. my ex best friend is gay and i believe he blew me off after i gained weight. lets face it i didnt look the same anymore and it wasnt what was suitable for his scene. so i said screw it. i dont need him i need me and in order for me to be a better me i need to be a healtheier me., so u should try and get past it....i know easier said thean done but trust me....these r just steps we go thru life with...we need to meet jerks before we meet the one....and he wont care if your a size 32 or a 62 ; )
    hope this helps
  • ZombieKillaPrincess
    ZombieKillaPrincess Posts: 404 Member
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    It happens all the time, def not a gay thing. but if weight is an issue for a potential partner, you are better off without them since they are obviously shallow and superficial
  • laceyfowler
    laceyfowler Posts: 127 Member
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    Awww that sucks :-( No, it's not a gay thing - it's in all sorts of relationships. I've yo-yo'd between being heavy and fairly healthy all my life, and I've noticed a Huge difference in the way that people treat me when I'm thinner vs when I'm heavier. It doesn't seem fair - we're still the same person on the inside, right? But, we live in a superficial society... the only bright side I can see to this whole thing is that it does give me a bit more motivation to lose weight and be healthier... but I know that doesn't take away the sting of feeling rejected because of weight issues :-/
    It looks like you're doing a great job on your weight loss - keep up the good work, and remember that thin or heavy, you deserve someone who loves you for You, not for your weight :-)
  • cdstadt
    cdstadt Posts: 311 Member
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    I agree with everybody else.

    Be glad you found out what a jerk that person was before the relationship got serious!
  • Shausil82
    Shausil82 Posts: 218 Member
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    Story of my life, buddy. It has happened to me so many times in my life. It happened to me, at least, 3 times this year alone with guys I actually liked. I remember years ago, a guy put me on a timeline to lose weight. I had to lose 100 pounds in 6 months or he would dump me. So, I did. I lost 100+60 pounds.. in 10 minutes. Told him to f*** off. The way I see it is, the people worth keeping in your life will be the ones who will love you and accept you whether your fat, thin, old, young, etc. Don't keep the small-minded jerks around.
    There are a lot of those morons out there. I'm still encountering them. But sometimes you just gotta take yourself out of the game and have some ME time. Enjoy all the things that you like. After a harsh break up earlier this summer, I decided to take some ME time. I got things I gotta do, and I don't have time for petty little do*chebags.
  • CrazyDaisysMommy
    CrazyDaisysMommy Posts: 472
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    My friend has the same problem and he beats himself up over it., but I think it may be more of an online thing than a gay thing. People love the flirtation and the attention, but when it starts to get too real, people drop off the radar. Before I met my husband, I tried online dating and I could see the disappointment in their eyes when I showed up. (Although, my pictures were current, so there shouldn't have been too much of a difference!) You're much more than a waistband size, so don't let that clown make you feel bad about yourself! Who knows, maybe he was lying about what he looked like and was afraid you wouldn't be into him!
  • AmyS79
    AmyS79 Posts: 65
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    Here is how I see it. if he liked everything about you until you told him your on a weightloss journey. it goes to show he not interested in finding someone he can be in a relationship with. You want someone who will look beyond your flaws and get to know the person you are.
  • Sarw27
    Sarw27 Posts: 68 Member
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    The sad truth is that you can't blame people for who they are naturally attracted to. It may seem shallow but we are all drawn to people for different reasons and it can't be forced.

    I'm a (very) big girl and I am not attracted to big men... and I also don't want to date someone unhealthy. I like the alpha male sort who are very masculine and athletic... so I can hardly expect them to be attracted to me at this weight and this lifestyle. That is only part of the reason I've decided to slim down, I realized I had to be the best ME, to attract the kind of guys I want to attract.

    That said, there are plenty of people out there, both men and women, who don't care how heavy someone is, or even prefer it. I'm always surprised at how many people hit on me. Trouble is they usually say things like "hey baby, you're beautiful, I like a girl with some meat on her bones" and I'm like, yeah, thanks for point out that I'm fat and STILL being superficial. Way to go. NEXT!

    There's plenty of people out there who will like *you* as is, but you have to search for them just like the rest of us do... and I'm not gonna lie, it's not easy, and it sucks!

    Just my personal opinion. :)
  • mejustmichael
    mejustmichael Posts: 109 Member
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    Thanks everyone.
  • hypotrochoid
    hypotrochoid Posts: 842 Member
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    Sounds like you dodged a bullet, sweetie. If he's that shallow he's probably not even good enough for you to wipe your feet on.
  • eillamarie
    eillamarie Posts: 862 Member
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    It happens to straight ppl too. The only time guys (straight & gay) like to hear about weight is when the other person is already fit. I've watched my tiny girlfriends talk about their "diets" & the guy is hardly phased, but I'm 6 feet tall & a size 14/16 & the very few times I've brought it up (all I really say is I used to be in good shape & I'm slowly going back & making a lifestyle change) it's totally turned the guy off.

    In short: ppl are shallow as *kitten*. And online dating makes it that much easier for ppl to be picky about physical appearance.
  • eillamarie
    eillamarie Posts: 862 Member
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    Happens all the time! last time I went out I was told the new skinny is 5'8 120lbs! if I want to get someone! I didnt even know what to say!

    Sounds like a supermodel.....and we know how abundant those are........*sarcasm*
  • vickyplum
    vickyplum Posts: 192 Member
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    Hey way to go on loosing 30+ lbs you rock!!!

    I have to be honest it isnt just a gay thing I have had it happen to me loads
    of times in fact more times than I have actually admited to!!
    The people who are like that arent worth knowing and we are better than they
    are and always will be!!
    you are cute and you will find the wright person for you and it wont matter what
    weight or size you are!!

    Good luck in your journey and your search

    V xxx
  • mejustmichael
    mejustmichael Posts: 109 Member
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    Hey way to go on loosing 30+ lbs you rock!!!

    I have to be honest it isnt just a gay thing I have had it happen to me loads
    of times in fact more times than I have actually admited to!!
    The people who are like that arent worth knowing and we are better than they
    are and always will be!!
    you are cute and you will find the wright person for you and it wont matter what
    weight or size you are!!

    Good luck in your journey and your search

    V xxx

    Thanks everyone. <3

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