For everyone who helped me with my English homework here is

lucylou9701

Thank you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much if you posted on my forum post about my english homework you guys helped soooooo much!!!!! I used a lot of your guys examples and i think it turned out pretty good so here it is let me know if there is anything i should change, maybe there is a better word to describe something. i dont know but just let me know your honest opinion of what you think, what you would change and what could make it better

I am bubbly like the pop music that beats through my speakers.
I am a daisy, growing upward towards the sunlight, full of life and potential.
I am like a black and white panda, the picture of serenity.
I am like a newborn spring spotted deer wobbling on uncertain legs.
I am peaceful and beautiful like flowers swaying blissfully in the wind.
I am yellow like the sun, beaming with happiness.
I am a plump turkey, wearing my feathers with pride.
I am warm like a sunrise, diffusing light across the land.
I am like a July picnic, sparkling with excitement and laughter.
I am like a pineapple sweet and yummy.
I am me

_beachgirl_

It's pretty good, if you had used "I am flightless like a turkey" it would have rocked!


Jk, nice job!

CindiBryce

I can't believe you didn't use this one:
I am like a turkey, forever foraging close to the ground for insects, sadly unable to fly, due to my unfortunate genetics.
I'M KIDDING.

I like your poem, it's well-written.

SLambertAlaska

I've had so much fun reading this post.

my suggestion: the first line doesn't seem to match with the rest of the poem. You might troll for an opening line that sets the mood for the rest of the poem.

Hope you get an A!

lucylou9701

I've had so much fun reading this post.

my suggestion: the first line doesn't seem to match with the rest of the poem. You might troll for an opening line that sets the mood for the rest of the poem.

Hope you get an A!

Awwwww thank you!! and what line would you suggest just out of curiousity

SmartFunGorgeous

Idk what the original assignment was, but I'd like it best if there was parallelism- I.e. All the lines be similes OR metaphors, or ifngiure supposed to be using a mixture, put the similes together, and put the metaphors together... Or some sort of structure. But that's just me. I like symmetry.

SmartFunGorgeous

Dbl post

SLambertAlaska

How about
I am a river, flowing through the landscape of my life.

Then the rest of the lines demonstrate the different landscapes you flow through.

kudos to your English teacher for giving an interesting assignment! And kudos to you for asking for help when you want it!

TNGirlyGirl

Just a couple of grammatical changes:

Remove the word "spring" after newborn as it confuses the reader.
Add a comma after pineapple in the second to last line.

Also, I agree with SFG about using all similes or all metaphors. If you have to use both, either group them, or possibly have them alternate lines.

Overall, I love the poem!! Very creative and well-written!