deep dark confession time...

bry_all01

a year ago, I weighed 130 pounds, but it had taken me three years to gain thirty pounds, to be at a healthy weight. In the beginning I lost the weight, because I was stressed and depressed, so I didn't eat. In the beginning, I must ashamedly admit I actually enjoyed weighing 100 pounds. I was in control of something in my whacked out world. I got all of the "oh, she's so tiny" "she's the smallest person I've seen.." But, then, of course came the neysayers "I want to forcefeed her a sammich" "She must be on drugs..." I tried for three long, hard years to put the weight back on. I wanted to be healthy and not sickly looking. Now, before you all jump down my throat, this is not something I was proud of after my initial thought of it being nice to get attention. I got over that real quick. Trying to find clothes to fit was next to impossible and even if I did, nothing was at all flattering, because you could see bones. That is just not attractive to me, and I could not fix what I had damaged.

These days I am at 130, with curves and definition and am learning everyday the good decisions to make for myself I want to lose 10 pounds for my upcoming show, BUT I will do that carefully, and not just stop eating as before. I don't want to go back to being that "skeletor" person. Everyone was scared for me, no one moreso than I.

I wish you all greatness and the best of luck in your own journey! We've got this!

ncgatorfan

That must have been a difficult time for you. And it takes a lot of courage to post what you just described. I'm proud of you and am happy you're finally happy and healthy!! Keep on!!

AdorablePanda

I wish you luck. This time you will be able to do it in a healthy way. :-) I'm sorry about your past experience, and I hope this time around it will be a healthy weightloss :-)

moushtie

You should be proud of yourself for coming this far, and fighting to be healthy. I wish a few more of the small girls on here could read this. Thank you for being brave and telling your story!

Ireshgurl

I you Brybaby!! You go girl!! I'm so proud to know you and your fight to make a better you!! You are totally inspiring, even if your here to gain weight and be healthy, your still being healthy about it and that's outstanding!! And the fact that your able to put your past "out there" and be comfortable with it. YOU GO GIRL!!!!!

Iamfit4life

When you're tiny, you almost identify with it. You like that it's your "thing" especially after having kids... you spend so much less time thinking of yourself.
Almost feel you lose your identity, so if tiny is it... that was fine. I still struggle with realizing where I am at is perfect. Sometimes I still long to fit in clothes I fit in when I looked sick(but I don't want to look sick... lol)

I realize now I don't have to be severely underweight to shine or stand out, and I am MORE than certain you don't either.


I'm glad you're much better now! Well we're much better now!
Thank you for sharing, I think you're just awesome.

oopsiedaezie

You really are amazing. And I am sure that you are going to do great in your journey as well, especially by placing your health as a number one priority. Thank you for putting yourself out there and sharing it with us :flowerforyou:

vettle

good for you for getting to where you want and need to be to be healthy. we often forget about the other side of the story. this is about being healthy, not skinny. congrats!

vanessaclarkgbr

Good for you for getting it out in the open, and being able to address the issue here. You're absolutely right, bony isn't any more attractive than super morbidly obese, but yet sometimes our minds play tricks on us.

Well done on your success, and thank you for being a great role model for others who may be experiencing issues right now :-)

Qarol

I'm glad you've learned how to truly be in control. Everything's a learning process. And I'm glad you're my friend.

charityateet

Thank you for sharing.....even though you and I are new friends - I really feel that you are a special person, and I appreciate your honesty. You can do this, you will do this - with your support network and your many friends who love and adore you - you got this!

k2quiere

Bry, I'm glad you shared this story because sometimes there is so much focus on the other side of things (those of us trying to lose enormous amounts) that we forget where others are coming from. Everyone thinks things would be so perfect if we were on the other side of the spectrum, but that place can be just as dark. I'm proud of you for taking control of your life in a healthy way. No matter what you've done in your past, it's what you're doing now that matters. :flowerforyou:

Carl01

This is why I am glad we are friends here,you are awesome!

anewattitude

This is what makes you awesome!! You are funny, supportive and you are REAL!! Meaning, you are down-to-earth and not ashamed to share your struggles! I have had my own weight issues and went three weeks without eating once ( long time ago..) and still have those moments of being obsessive with my weight but I am also learning that being overly thin is not always healthy either.

Thanks for sharing and I know you will OWN that show!!

Slinkybaz

You're honesty is refreshing and it's good to get to know a friend better and understand them more. Thanks for sharing and I'm so stoked for you about the show - rock it girl!

cowboydan43

Everyone has their battles to fight, for most it is ongoing. I'm glad you've found your happy, healthy place. You are a very beautiful lady.

dayzeerock

You're a rockstar, babe!

JsGirl93

Thank you for posting this Bry, and reminding us NO ONE is perfect. People should take note and not judge others, your "perfect" or "right" may not necessarily be so. We are all in different places in this journey, but ALL on the same journey. Fit, thin, & overweight!

You rock! In all ways! We are new friends, but I'm proud to call you such!

_beachgirl_

We are all here for different reasons and we all have taken different paths on our way here. You are an inspiration to everyone whether they are trying to lose weight or gain weight.

Thank you for posting this Bry! You are courageous and strong! I admire you!

KeriA

At 58 I am on here trying to lose alot of weight but I had a brush with the other side of things. As a teen my weight ranged between 127 to 145. I was never overweight always in the healthy range. Just before starting college I stayed with a friend and she was on weight watchers. I basically got rid of a bit of extra weight. Going into the dorm I continued to try to stay away from the no-nos of weight watchers but that didn't leave much to eat in the dorm and I ended up at 99 lbs. I am 5'6". Everyone told me I was too skinny and luckily I listened to them. I can see how this happens. I am glad that we both dodged the bullet. Now I have another one to dodge. It is going to take a bit more work this time. I think that you have worked hard to get to where you are. Keep healthy.

cklbrown

Who knew the funny girl with the amusing posts was facing something so difficult. Goes to prove you can't always make a hasty decision about people. Thank you for sharing your story. You ate very brave. I appreciate how challenging this is for you. I hope MFP and the members provide the comfort and support that will help you be strong. I will send good thoughts your way.