new to MFP and Fighting to Save my Life!

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I joined MFP two days ago on the recommendation of the Dietician at my doctors office. I'm 43 years old and a stay at home wife and mother to three children (20, 18, and 12). I have always been over weight but never been really sick. My mother passed away on December 10, 2010 at home with her family by her bedside, she was 63 years old. I was her caregiver uptil her death and the 8 years prior to it. My mother had diabetes, she refused to comply with her doctors orders, she had her first stroke 8 years ago, that's when my job started. She had atrial fiberation, two additional strokes, high ammonia levels from liver failure due to diabetes, neuropathy, obesity, and she was confined to a wheelchair. My aunt, my mother's sister, sat down in a chair in home on January 17, 2010 and had a massive heart attack, my uncle called my father at 2 am that morning. My aunt also had obesity . She was 60 years old. 2010 was a hard year.

2011 hasn't gotten any better. The months following my mother's death I continued to have pains in my joints, shoulders, hips, hands, feet, and elbows. Several trips to the doctor later and I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. My blood work at my doctors came back that I also have high cholesterol, high ldl and low hdl as well. I also have obesity. I have 100 lbs to lose and the doctors are after me to lose it yesterday. They refuse to do pain management meds for my RA, because they say weight loss will help a lot of it. But there is the "in the mean time" part.

I have to lose this weight, I don't have a choice. I don't want to diet at a young age like my mother or my aunt and if I don't lose the weight I am heading in that direction. I need challenges and motivation to keep me moving. If there is anyone that needs a friend willing to get them moving, well I'll kick your butt into gear if you kick mine! :) Cause frankly I am not ready to die!
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Replies

  • TimetoLose_
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    You can do this! Feel free to friend me =] A little motivation can go a long way!
  • carebear7951
    carebear7951 Posts: 404 Member
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    Welcome! You have come to the right place. Hang out in the "success stories" area for a bit and you will get motivated and get tips! :)
  • hm_day
    hm_day Posts: 857 Member
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    Feel free to add me, hun. I have a support group, and we also do biweekly challenges. I'm on every day and I do my best to be as supportive as possible to all my MFP friends :)
  • sc1572
    sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
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    Welcome! You are doing the right thing coming here, this site is AMAZINGGGG!
  • JNettie73
    JNettie73 Posts: 1,208 Member
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    I am sorry to hear about the loss of your mother and aunt. But good for you for taking something sad and turning it around into something positive. I have been on this site for a month or so now and I absolutely love it! In the short time I have been here, my life has really turned around!
    Feel free to add me to your support team! :flowerforyou:
  • brickhouse76
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    We all need support, feel free to add me
  • Mommawarrior
    Mommawarrior Posts: 897 Member
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    I have RA and I have found that a total change in my diet has taken all the pain away. I was to the point where I could hardly stand up in the morning due to my feet hurting so bad. Every joint in my body hurt, I was constantly exhausted. Slurred speech, confusion, forgetfulness, you name it, I was having it.....
    I refused to take the meds that the docs want you to take cause the side effects from them are horrible and dangerous. I did alot of research on my own and found out about changing my diet to manage it. I overhauled my diet and I am symptom free.
    I will be happy to tell you what I have done if you are interested, just send me a message. Feel free to add me as a friend.
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
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    Hello and welcome. MFP is a great place to find support and information. I tend to be on the quieter side but I do understand about needing to lose a lot of weight so you're more than welcome to friend me.
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
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    I'm sorry the last two years have been so hard.

    I'll friend you because I can't wait to see your progress. I look forward to some great 'before' and 'after' shots this time next year :wink:
  • NatalieWinning
    NatalieWinning Posts: 999 Member
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    I can understand it feels like impossible stuff right now. But it's really one step in front of the other. Even if you stumble back a bit, overall if you keep going it's progress. I know you can do it! Check over the success stories and you will see plenty of people that didn't think they could, and they are! You will do it! You only fail when you quit, and you don't seem like the quitting type. Are you ready to do it? I think you are going to succeed. The tools on here really work if you just keep at it overall. Never quit!
  • mjtbb
    mjtbb Posts: 77 Member
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    You are in the right place. I started MFP in April and I already have lost 30 pounds. It feels great. I just finally decided it was time to do it and now I have the tools to do it. I also have RA (I had it for 24 years) so I understand the feelings of insecurity and frustration that comes with it. Mine is under control thankfully but it feels much better now that I lost some of my weight. I don't have that exhausted feeling as much anymore.
    I don't understand your doctors (I would find new ones if I were you). They are right that you need to lose weight but not to treat you seems like undue punishment, I know how much it hurts and if you don't do something about it the damage is continuous and it will get worse. RA is not something to play with, it damages your joints and the damage is irreversible so get some info and get those doctors in gear to help you.
    You can friend me if you want and I'm willing to answer questions if you have any. I don't post a lot but I try to at least encourage you with little notes if I see you are struggling. Good luck!

    Melanie
  • O2Bslimagain
    O2Bslimagain Posts: 120 Member
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    I'm not gonna lie to you- it's going to take lots of hard work and motivation to lose the weight. But, if you are serious about it I would love to help you. I too am 43 years old and as my walking friends say " you are a diabetic waiting to happen". I am 5'8 and weigh 182 lbs. I need help just like you. It is a lifestyle change. Make goals, exercise daily, drink lots of water, eat every 2-3 hours upon waking and last meal should be about 3 hours before bedtime. Keep track of everything you put into your mouth and write it down here. You are of worth and deserve to be healthy and deserve a long and active life. Please add me if you want a friend.
  • mum_of_three
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    I would love to be friends with you as I am here for the long haul too. And I have no problem kicking your butt and would love you to do the same for me. I look forward to seeing your updates.
    Also just wanted to send you hugs from afar for the hard couple of years that you have had.
  • martini83
    martini83 Posts: 113 Member
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    Hi and welcome,
    I am new here myself. You really have had a tough few years, but this place is great for the motivation to loose weight, the before and after pics and shear amount of weightloss i have seen in the success storys blows my mind. Feel free to add me if you want, i need some movitation coaches lol
  • srandle175
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    I'm sending a friend request RIGHT now!!!
  • rockymtn5
    rockymtn5 Posts: 3 Member
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    I'd love to know how you've revamped your diet. I have those same aches and pains . Its really getting to me emotionally.

    thanks!
  • BendySpartan
    BendySpartan Posts: 104 Member
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    You are already one step int he right direction! Sounds like you have had a really tough time and I really feel for you, I lost my Dad fairly suddenly two years ago and thats when the wieght started sneaking back on.
    Try not to think of it as a huge task but set mini goals (even 7lbs at a time) and plan a non food reward for each time you reach these.
    GOOD LUCK!!!!
  • Fliegenschwein
    Fliegenschwein Posts: 232 Member
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    You're in the right place for sure. This site and community have turned my life round this past year.

    Good luck and please feel free to add me if you want to :smile:
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,616 Member
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    Your path sounds so like my mum's it's scary.

    Talk to the doctors again about the pain management. Yes, weight loss will absolutely help. But it can be rather tricky to do the exercise you need to sustain weightloss if you're really hurting. I understand their position, but I'm not sure it's the cleverest one.

    There are lots of us out there with 100lbs or so lost or still to lose. You're not alone. And yes, it is a fight for your life. Not just in terms of bare survival, but in terms of the quality of your life and how much you can enjoy it. When I was at my heaviest, there were so many things I couldn't do. Life opens up with every pound you shed.
  • Nette_54
    Nette_54 Posts: 265 Member
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    Welcome to MFP, you will love it here and the support from everyone. I have a long way to go too and would love to help and support you too