Don't do this to me!

lizblizz2012

I'm 18 and when I started high school I gained about 20 pounds. I'm not "huge" but I would like to get back into shape. I work in an office as part of an internship. I am the youngest person who works there, most of the other people are 50+. In the break room there is always brownies or cupcakes or some other yummy dessert. Sometimes I treat myself if I have been "good" that day but I generally avoid them.

When one of the ladies asks why I'm not having any, I tell them I'm trying to watch my weight. They immediately go into "mother hen" mode and tell me I shouldn't starve myself and that i'm too young to restrict my calorie intake, or that i don't "need" to diet and they send me on a guilt trip. They pressure me into eating some of whatever is brought in.

This happens on a regular basis. Part of me wants to give in because I don't want them to think I'm anorexic or that I have self esteem problems. I try to stand my ground but I end up feeling awful after they belittle my efforts. It makes me so uncomfortable! What can I say that will show them I mean business without being rude??????

janet_pratt

Try, "I don't eat sugar." KInd of hard to argue with that. Can't accuse you of being anorexic or worry about restricting your calories.

kaittx13

isnt it so wierd that when you started eating healthier.. people get concerned?
my grandparents always try to shove food down my throat even after i have told them i am not hungry.

if anything just take one back to your desk and throw it away.
esplain to them that you are not on a "diet" but just trying to make healthier choices.. and having a brownie is not part of that goal.
sometimes i even go as far as asking the person who is questioning me.. why they are questioning my decision to do better to my body and eat more nutritious, healthy food.

good luck!

skinimin

If your BMI is in the overweight category then tell them that. That should be a good enough reason.

Weight loss is a personal thing though and it can be hard to convince others of your reasons, especially because sometimes people feel like agreeing that you need to lose weight is the equivalent to calling someone fat.

You could always try using lines like you're gluten intolerant, or lactose intolerant or something, or your doctor has told you that you need to stop eating so much of the food you want to avoid. Something that can't be argued with but is still legitimate.

MochaMixAZ

What a hassle.

Maybe don't bother to tell them the why you're not indulging. Maybe just a very firm, "No, thank you."

And if they push, maybe "Thank you for the offer, but I don't feel like eating something sweet (or salty or whatever) right now."

AND if they still push, perhaps pulling them aside one by one and saying, "I'm really trying to eat more healthfully, and I I feel pressured to eat the treats when you keep asking me. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't SABOTAGE MY HARD WORK." And the smile brightly.

I'm not trying to make light of this, I know it can really be a problem. My mother was the biggest offender of this in my life. And it's really tough. Sometimes explaining it helps.

kaittx13

Try, "I don't eat sugar." KInd of hard to argue with that. Can't accuse you of being anorexic or worry about restricting your calories.

I have used that one too

lizblizz2012

good idea... thanks!

tkacomet

just tell folks you're trying to eat healthy. the WHY is none of their business.

I'm in a small town and people get comfortable with who you are. when my weight loss became noticeable some people got really uncomfortable. they want everyone to stay the same. I've had to gently tell them to buzz off numerous times.

it's between you and your doctor and no one else's business. full stop.

judyyy314

You need to give them an answer that they can't argue with - tell them you strive to eat healthy food or kind of laugh and say, "I can't eat that much sugar in one day." If they do try to make you feel guilty laugh again and say, "Hey, I need your help to stay away from this stuff." then change the subject! Ask about their weekend, tell them what you're up to. Keep deflecting the conversation away from food. They're not trying to intentionally sabotage you, but they were raised in an era where it was good manners to sample food other people offered (I'm 50+ myself). Talk about joining MFP and how it tracks your calories, sodium, etc. and how great you feel when you follow the guidelines. They might be interested in joining, too!

robpett2001

What a hassle.

Maybe don't bother to tell them the why you're not indulging. Maybe just a very firm, "No, thank you."

And if they push, maybe "Thank you for the offer, but I don't feel like eating something sweet (or salty or whatever) right now."

AND if they still push, perhaps pulling them aside one by one and saying, "I'm really trying to eat more healthfully, and I I feel pressured to eat the treats when you keep asking me. I'd really appreciate it if you didn't SABOTAGE MY HARD WORK." And the smile brightly.

I'm not trying to make light of this, I know it can really be a problem. My mother was the biggest offender of this in my life. And it's really tough. Sometimes explaining it helps.

*applauds this excellent answer*

Rikki444

No matter where you work or how old you are (get), you will always have critics on your healthy lifestyle. Avoiding baked goods is hardly being anorexic or a sign of 'low self esteem'... it shows that you are self-controlled, disciplined and healthy.... stick to your healthier plan and eat a baked good when you want.... not to please your co-workers.... don't worry about what 'they' think. NEVER.WORRY.ABOUT.WHAT.OTHERS.THINK. What do you think?

lizblizz2012

i think you're right

MochaMixAZ

Oh, and I almost forgot my favorite way to get people to back off...

"Oh, thank you, but no, I can't. I've been having this incredible gas and diarrhea lately and things like that really seem to set it off."

Works *every* time.

cathdrew2

This is SO common in office environments - I feel like I could have written this post myself 20 years ago. You sound like a nice person but a people pleaser (as I was bred to be). Who cares if they think you are anorexic if you know you're not? You just need to think of things in advance that are "you" and still polite *before* you get trapped in there with the mother hens. If you are feeling weak or forget what to say, take what is there on a napkin, be so busy you need to go to your desk to work, and dump it in a trash can on the way. You aren't going to be "wearing" it and neither are they: public service! I like to say "Waste it OR Waist it" - you may feel wasteful (there are starving children!) but the alternative is to wear those extra calories around your waist. Other things you might say are thanks, you've already had one; thanks, trying to stay ahead of the game and avoid dieting when I get older; allergic to chocolate; or plain and simple, thanks, I'll pass and when they lay on the guilt "Marsha, that is SO sweet of you to worry about me - you are such a good lady". Then YOU have to take a pass on the guilt. They don't know you, your exercise habits, your metabolism, or what you've already eaten. They probably still haven't learned themselves that their body is a machine to be fueled, not a public dumping ground that gathers in anything in its reach. I learned to please people with a clean plate and with second helpings. Food equals love in my family. It has taken me 20 years to begin to realize this and stop trying to make people happy with my eating habits. Wait until you lose those 20 pounds; then you will be "too skinny"; how much more are you going to lose; do you think you've gone too far? People are very intrusive if you allow them. A big smile, a gentle word with a firm tone, and a quick exit are your best tools until you can figure out where your worries come from. Good for you noticing this unhealthy pattern now and thinking of ways to combat it. Can you avoid the break room?

Nikki582

"Okay look, Doris, the real reason is I think your cupcakes taste like sh**!"

Too aggressive?

cathdrew2

Oh, and I almost forgot my favorite way to get people to back off...

"Oh, thank you, but no, I can't. I've been having this incredible gas and diarrhea lately and things like that really seem to set it off."

Works *every* time.

MochaMix, loved your earlier response but this one takes the cake (no pun intended)!!

shabydonner

When one of the ladies asks why I'm not having any, I tell them I'm trying to watch my weight. They immediately go into "mother hen" mode and tell me I shouldn't starve myself and that i'm too young to restrict my calorie intake, or that i don't "need" to diet and they send me on a guilt trip.

Why do people think age has anything to do with it. Eating healthy is ageless. I was a pretty thin when I was 5 or 6 and my mom used to get told all the time to feed that child. Both my parents have fought weight problems most of their lives. I was raised with unhealthy habits but still people worried that I wasn't eating enough, not healthy, but enough. Now, 20 years later, I am over 300 pounds. I wonder what those people would say now. I started gaining at about 8 or 9. By the time I was your age I was already around 275. The sad fact is as bad as my situation is I have seen stories about 10 year olds that are close to that weight. Age has nothing to do with it. You are never too young to be aware of what you are eating. Good for you for trying to nip it in the bud. Yes having an ED is just as bad as being over weight but the answer isn't getting into habits of eating what ever you want. My friend was always a healthy weight as kids, then she went to high school where she put on a little, then the first two years of college where she put on a little more, then nursing school where she put on a little more, and then got married ending up with a little more, before you know it a little can become a lot and its a lot harder to lose the older you get and the more those bad habits have taken over.

kyylieeeeee

I have this problem, too. I am 21, and pretty fit, but that's because I work very hard at eating right and working out! All my coworkers (5 people besides myself) order from the same restaurant on Wednesdays and we have lunch together, and EVERY week they are worried/shocked/almost offened when I don't want to order some carb-y sub roll with salty deli meat and cheese! So I pack my own lunch and my own snacks every single day. It has helped cut back on their questions, because it's not like I'm NOT eating-- I'm just eating my own food! I suggest you do this too, because it really works; and if you're in the break room surrounded by sweets, have a baggie of almonds or a piece of fruit in your hand, ready to have a defense against the older crowd's pressure!

Good luck!

eddiegirll

Remember Misery loves company!

Plz plz do not allow them to change the you who you are inside...stand your ground! :flowerforyou:

You will become stronger, the more you say, "no". I am on you side! Do you bring a better choice for your own preferance? Or what are you doing in the break room? Reading a book, drinking water, eating a healthy choice you brought from home?

5'4"
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P.W.227.9 (Sept. 12, 2011)
C.W 228.4 (Sept. 19, 2011) Hello:brokenheart: (:sad: Sept. 20th) & (21st-back on track & :happy:) Whoo-hoo!
G.W. 125

ninerbuff

I'm 18 and when I started high school I gained about 20 pounds. I'm not "huge" but I would like to get back into shape. I work in an office as part of an internship. I am the youngest person who works there, most of the other people are 50+. In the break room there is always brownies or cupcakes or some other yummy dessert. Sometimes I treat myself if I have been "good" that day but I generally avoid them.

When one of the ladies asks why I'm not having any, I tell them I'm trying to watch my weight. They immediately go into "mother hen" mode and tell me I shouldn't starve myself and that i'm too young to restrict my calorie intake, or that i don't "need" to diet and they send me on a guilt trip. They pressure me into eating some of whatever is brought in.

This happens on a regular basis. Part of me wants to give in because I don't want them to think I'm anorexic or that I have self esteem problems. I try to stand my ground but I end up feeling awful after they belittle my efforts. It makes me so uncomfortable! What can I say that will show them I mean business without being rude??????

Don't go to the break room. Heck when I was working full time I always tried to get away from work on lunch break or at least away from the building during break.

Lift_hard_eat_big

Who cares what they say, you don't have to lie to anyone so that you can stay on track with your goals. Tell them thanks for the offer but I'm trying to get into the best shape of my life. Once you stand up for yourself they should get the hint and back off the guilt trips, if not, then stay the heck away from the break room.

CynthiaLaurenti

HAHAHAAH I LOVE this answer! I've used that one on my grandma before! She looked startled that I would announce something like that LOL

hufflypuff

I'm 18 and when I started high school I gained about 20 pounds. I'm not "huge" but I would like to get back into shape. I work in an office as part of an internship. I am the youngest person who works there, most of the other people are 50+. In the break room there is always brownies or cupcakes or some other yummy dessert. Sometimes I treat myself if I have been "good" that day but I generally avoid them.

When one of the ladies asks why I'm not having any, I tell them I'm trying to watch my weight. They immediately go into "mother hen" mode and tell me I shouldn't starve myself and that i'm too young to restrict my calorie intake, or that i don't "need" to diet and they send me on a guilt trip. They pressure me into eating some of whatever is brought in.

This happens on a regular basis. Part of me wants to give in because I don't want them to think I'm anorexic or that I have self esteem problems. I try to stand my ground but I end up feeling awful after they belittle my efforts. It makes me so uncomfortable! What can I say that will show them I mean business without being rude??????

See cookie, take cookie, eat half of cookie and toss the other half. You know you wanted to anyways. It won't kill your day. you get a yummy little treat and they are satisfied to see you had some.

I'm not hungry

I don't feel like it today

Maybe if you made snicker doodles

ect ect ect.

MIMITIME

The last thing you want to do is PO a bunch of ladies in an office especially over 50 in age. Ha Ha - I can say this because I am over 50. I would suggest thanking them and telling them you are stuffed from whatever meal or you are not hungry. If they keep pushing, tell them you will take one with you to eat later at home. Then, just toss it on the way home for the birds.

iwantniceabs

"I'm not hungry right now"

iheartyarn

bring in a nice big veggie tray and put it next to the cookies and then you can just tell them you brought your own snacks, and they are welcome to have some

dovesgate

Oh, and I almost forgot my favorite way to get people to back off...

"Oh, thank you, but no, I can't. I've been having this incredible gas and diarrhea lately and things like that really seem to set it off."

Works *every* time.

ROFL!!! Love it!