Foodaholic. Are U?

CoachNYLA

I had to ask the question to myself over 19 years ago and YES I AM? But, I have been in recovery from the "ism" for a while and grateful for it.

The best experience I can share is the experience in my relationship with food.

It has been a long haul believe me you.

Food was always there no matter what but when the binge food was gone, I was left there alone in remorse, saddness, depressed and angry underneath, because it did not take away what was really going on. It was like having an expectation from the food and it looked like potential in me feeling good but in the end it never delivered. In fact, it just kept making me more sad, more depressed, more angry...

But I found out, the food is a symptom. Sure there is a physical aspect of the craving for it, but my relationship with food was insane. It was also a secret in how much I obsessed and craved it. Sometimes I would hide my compulsion to use the food. I have thrown away a half bag of cookies after binging on them to only throw them away in anger to then go right back in the garbage and get them out again! That is just insane. Who does that? A food addict.

Well, I had to come off the juice (the sugar, flour and wheat) to detox from the cravings and clear my head but it was not fun. Sometimes it took 10 days to detox and if it sounds like someone on drugs, guess what - it is. I found out about it in a Kay Sheppard book called: "Food Addiction", The Body Knows. Great book, saved my life.

It's been a long haul and though throughout my my recovery, I have gone to the food on certain occassions but deep in my heart, I choose me not the food.

I love me more today so I can love others. Ultimately it is about staying in my skin and being present in the moment without feeling I need food to calm me down and be a comfort.

I had to work on why I am so uncomfortable and when that started to clear up and heal, I made better choices naturally and willingly - but I could not have that gift if I was still using the binge foods.

Foodaholic? Yes I can be, but I was bleseed with the steps to take to get a life and live.

I wish that for others too who have experienced this too.

I wish that for you.

stresco

Yes... Yes I am. I am here to change that.

SlimSadieG

Bump.

CoachNYLA

Yes... Yes I am. I am here to change that.

Awesome!!! It's a great life!!! Go for it!!

barbiex3

i am ! I eat so much compared to everyone around me. I run XC in college tho =/ ! I hope my appetite slows down if I stop running lol

lyngordon42

Nyla,
Beautifully written share…I am here for the same reason, overeating and avoiding the larger issues going on within me…my goal is to work on the self-destructive pattern while being mindful of my choices and the direction I want live and love myself, family and friends.
Wishing you continued growth and success on your path to living and loving life…

LFern

Nice writing. I can identify with you whole heartedly. I will be looking for that book! Thank you for sharing & best wishes to you for continued control!

noneya2010

Great post. I grew up with a compulsive overeater father, whom I was very close with and loved very much. We always went to movies, car shows, community events -- usually seeking solace away from my alcoholic mother. However, growing up so close with my dad, I did see him hide his addiction by hiding food in the car, away from my mother. He was a very large man -- I'm guessing 350-400 lbs but a man with a genuine, loving, and caring heart and soul. My father passed away and left me when I was 18 and the loss is still very fresh to this day. ALthough I would never admit to anyone in my own family (husband, grown kids, friends, etc.), I too acquired/learned that same compulsion/addiction with food and do some of the very same things my father did (hiding food, eating in the night, etc.). It's like some huge shame cloud that follows me around, even when I am getting back on track to eating healthy, that dark, cloud is always there, just hovering over my head, encouraging me to screw up and eat whatever comes my way.

I often wonder what it really takes to banish that cloud. I think it is more than motivation but haven't quite figured out what it is exactly that works.

AdAstra47

Amen! It has now been 6 months and 8 days since I've eaten any flour or sugar. Maybe alcoholics and cigarette addicts will be offended by the comparison, but I truly believe that carb addiction is just as bad, and some people (like me) just need to go cold turkey to get their lives under control.

I was so proud of myself Tuesday night, someone brought in a luscious chocolate birthday cake to our choir practice, and I helped serve it, and I inhaled the wonderful aroma... but I didn't even hesitate or think about it when someone offered me a piece: immediate & automatic "No, thanks."