unsupportive-food addict-family (sorta long)

tera7363

So, I was wondering if any of you can give me suggestions on how to deal w/this: we live in a house w/mother-in-law above & my husband & I are in a basement apt. My husbands grandmother also visits frequently & she is what we consider a "food addict" b/c she is obsessed w/food and always planning the next meal, and every meal is a big production like Thanksgiving/Sunday dinner. We are having trouble w/the family understanding that we are making a lifestyle change & wan't to lose weight & be healthier. We tell the in-laws this nicely but they get very offended if we don't want to go out to dinner w/them all the time or eat the large unhealthy meals. If we do eat the meals & have small servings they are sad they we aren't eating more. We have our own kitchen in our apartment so we tried cooking our own food & bringing it up for dinner so we could be together but it didn't work out either. UGH! It's frustrating to us b/c they just don't get it...they feel like their value is w/food & they have to show you love by feeding you. It's so hard to say no all the time to the temptations around us. Suggestions are welcome We are very happy w/the living situation but the food things tends to be an issue.

skinimin

maybe try suggesting other ways that you could all spend time together? like, if they suggest lunch or something maybe say that you have too much to do at that time but are free to take a walk around the park with them later on or something? you could also say that you already have plans with friends for dinner etc? sorry, only suggestions i've got.

millmelo

My in-laws are also food 'addicts'. We lived with them for a while and I would just make one healthy dish to contribute to the meal and eat mostly that with a little of what they made to spice it up. My mother-in-law has had two bariatric surgeries and gained all the weight back and doesn't seem to see that there is an issue with the way she eats. It was tough but bringing only one dish didn't seem to offend and they didn't notice as much that I wasn't eating a less of what they had cooked. I just tried to bring something with protien so it was more like a main dish for me. Good luck!

jamk1446

It is hard to make changes around people who equate food with love. Right now, it feels to them like you are rejecting them by turning away their offerings or not wanting to go out to eat with them. I would gently remind them that you and your husband still love them even though you don't want to eat that. You may have to do that at every meal. And counter that because you love them, you would like to share your healthier choices with them. Maybe too you could share with your in-laws the kinds of things you DO want to eat and see if they will begin incorporating new things into their meals and could begin looking for different restaurants to visit.

I also agree with the suggestion to look for new ways to interact with your family that don't have to center around food. How about a game night?

tera7363

Thanks so much! I will try those tips. It's nice to know other people understand and have delt w/similar issues. I didn't grow up in a household w/people that were overweight or people that feel their worth is with food. So, this is a new issue for me alltogether. I'm gonna stay strong & keep reminding them & introduce them to some healthier ways too