Former actor in need of some support

CaptainGordo

As I do not want to get too personal so as to allow users here to identify me...

I understand and appreciate your desire for anonymity. If you could, please just pass along your IMDB page address. That should suffice.

Qarol

Can somebody say....wait for it....TROLL!

aww, boo...let us have a little fun before you give the game away!

InstantSunshine

Are you sitting comfortably, children? Then I'll begin.

Once upon a time, there were three billy goats gruff.

Every spring they left their barn and travelled to the mountains where there was lots of fresh, tasty green grass for them to eat.

Can you guess what happened next?

:noway:

koosdel

I totally recognised you from Busty Barn Bangers 7!!!!

Bankman1989

Greetings ladies and gents,

First of all I want to say thank you to the makers of this wonderful website for creating such a good tool that can help so many people. God bless you myfitnesspal crew, I really mean that. I can tell that you are helping a lot of stars to shine!

Now, I suppose that it is time for me to tell my own story.

I was born in Chelsea, London to a loving mother. She was a widow, my father died in convert operations in Buenos AIres during the Falklands war. Luckily, my mother was the daughter of an Indian railway baron and so was a woman of independent wealth who paid for me to avoid the comprehensive school system and go to the prestigious Eton College where I became a star rugby player. As I do not want to get too personal so as to allow users here to identify me I will skip ahead a few years, when I was in my late 20s and in my physical prime I was a leading star in more than a few Hollywood movies.

Since my movie acting prime I have gone from 5'10 160lbs to 5'10 169lbs and I am being told repeatedly by casting agents that I have to lose weight if I ever want to get back with the Hollywood set.

I really do feel very alone in this, it is not something I can talk about with my showbiz friends. I would love to hear from anyone else suffering from weight problems, I am also single and particularly interested in women in their 30s who also suffer from weight problems. Maybe we can face this devil down together.

Thank you and God bless!

Were you Dr. evil in the Austin Powers movies
? Your story sounds similar..lol

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn *kitten*... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it

manderson27

Can somebody say....wait for it....TROLL!

aww, boo...let us have a little fun before you give the game away!

A trolling I shall go. A trolling I shall go. la la la la la la a trolling I shall go:yawn:

ursy87

teehee! This is better than the telly, you know, where slightly overweight ex Hollywood actors end up

InstantSunshine

Deary dear, this is too much fun to stop.

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Kenyan refugess, I write award-winning operas, and manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook thirty-minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cell, I had trials with Manchester United, I am the subject of numerous documentaries.

When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my garden. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.

Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have appeared on Through the Keyhole and won the gold plaque. Last summer I toured Eastern Europe with a travelling centrifugal-force demonstration. I run the 100m in 9.65secs. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles.

Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby ****, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do
sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on holiday in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.

I have made extraordinary four course meals using only some vegetables and a Breville Toaster. I breed prize winning clams.

I have won bullfights in Madrid, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and chess competitions at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

Thomasm198

InstantSunshine

By the way, it was NOT I that asterisked poor old Melville there, but the Stepford Prude Patrol.

bellawares

And the OSCAR goes to . . . . . :drinker:

manderson27

Greetings ladies and gents,

First of all I want to say thank you to the makers of this wonderful website for creating such a good tool that can help so many people. God bless you myfitnesspal crew, I really mean that. I can tell that you are helping a lot of stars to shine!

Now, I suppose that it is time for me to tell my own story.

I was born in Chelsea, London to a loving mother. She was a widow, my father died in convert operations in Buenos AIres during the Falklands war. Luckily, my mother was the daughter of an Indian railway baron and so was a woman of independent wealth who paid for me to avoid the comprehensive school system and go to the prestigious Eton College where I became a star rugby player. As I do not want to get too personal so as to allow users here to identify me I will skip ahead a few years, when I was in my late 20s and in my physical prime I was a leading star in more than a few Hollywood movies.

Since my movie acting prime I have gone from 5'10 160lbs to 5'10 169lbs and I am being told repeatedly by casting agents that I have to lose weight if I ever want to get back with the Hollywood set.

I really do feel very alone in this, it is not something I can talk about with my showbiz friends. I would love to hear from anyone else suffering from weight problems, I am also single and particularly interested in women in their 30s who also suffer from weight problems. Maybe we can face this devil down together.

Thank you and God bless!

Were you Dr. evil in the Austin Powers movies
? Your story sounds similar..lol

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn *kitten*... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it

LMAO

roebuck1908

What a load of bollocks

LauraMacNCheese

I totally recognised you from Busty Barn Bangers 7!!!!

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

PegasusDeb

What'cho talkin' 'bout Willis?? :laugh:

ErrataCorrige

Brilliant!

Steven

Sorry to step in and spoil the fun...

Original Poster, if your story is legitimate, please make sure your profile and your narrative are in accord.

In case the OP is legit, I'm going to lock the thread to prevent further insult:

4) Do not attack/slam/insult other users. The forums are here so that members can help support one another. Attacks or insults against each other takes away from the supportive atmosphere and will not be tolerated. You can discuss the message or topic, but not the messenger - NO EXCEPTIONS. If you are attacked by another user, and you reciprocate, YOU will also be subject to the same consequences. Defending yourself, defending a friend, etc. are NOT excuses. Violations of this rule are taken very seriously and may result in being banned without warning! If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

If you suspect troll activity: please don't feed the trolls. Report a post and we'll investigate.

Thanks,
Steven
MyFitnessPal Staff