60 lbs lost and fighting my own demons

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becky444
becky444 Posts: 145 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Oh.... I am so happy that I lost 60lbs finally! However.. at every major goal. 40lbs.. 50lbs.. 60lbs... I do this. I fight against myself and am scared. When I was bigger nobody looked at me. Nobody helped me at the store, nobody messed with me as well I would seem as I could handle myself. In the last 3 days I have myself eating fruity pebbles, cake, not eating enough some of the days perhaps to subconsciusly keep myself (in my mind) safe from whatever.

Now... I am sort of getting looks, People are expecting even more results. I dont know how to get over this. It is nuts. When people say weight loss is 90% mental it is so true!

Has anyone ever gone through this? Tips?

Replies

  • MisterDubs303
    MisterDubs303 Posts: 1,216 Member
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    Congratulations on your weight loss! That is great. I totally agree that the mental part is huge. It also seems that as the weight loss increases, more little issues seem to come out of the woodwork. I have had to fight little temptations related to self-sabotage, but not too badly. I still see myself as the 300 pound guy that I have been for over 10 years. I don't know if I'll be able to shed that self-image, but I sure hope I can. It seems that it would be too easy to allow my body to return to matching the mindset that I've had for so long. I've only had one real bad bout of food meltdown, and that was just a few weeks ago, and lasted for a week. Fortunately, I've recovered from that now. It certainly is a mental battle. Good luck!
  • becky444
    becky444 Posts: 145 Member
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    Thanks! realizing it is also a HUGE part of it. I just went and threw out the cake. Made my workout schedule for the week and meal plan. I can not self sabbotage. Being 296 lbs will Never happen again! I want to get to my next digit! I am or was 232 before my meltdown I want to be 220's this next week! My reward..... a new shirt. See I am talking it into existance.

    Still fighting those walls but I will break them down.
  • catsinpajamas
    catsinpajamas Posts: 55
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    Woohoo! We're with you! This is so encouraging to read. You taking up the reigns again encourages me to not lose heart as well. You're doing so many good things for your health and happiness. Get it, woman!
  • MisterDubs303
    MisterDubs303 Posts: 1,216 Member
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    Thanks! realizing it is also a HUGE part of it. I just went and threw out the cake. Made my workout schedule for the week and meal plan. I can not self sabbotage. Being 296 lbs will Never happen again! I want to get to my next digit! I am or was 232 before my meltdown I want to be 220's this next week! My reward..... a new shirt. See I am talking it into existance.

    Still fighting those walls but I will break them down.

    Looks like we're exactly the same weight. I'm hoping that my Monday weigh in will put me at 229ish or so, and I started just a little higher than you. I, too, hope to never return there. 13 or 14 years ago I lost quite a bit of weight and was convinced that I'd never go above 200 again, and knew what to do if I did, but alas...
  • fordster99
    fordster99 Posts: 181 Member
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    I am going through the same thing. I started about 298 and now I am about 235 lbs. I always felt invisible when I was fat. No one even acted like I was around and I never got noticed by anyone of the opposite sex (I am in a relationship but its still makes you feel ugly when no one looks at you). The other day, a guy did a double take to look at me and it actually kind of freaked me out. What did I do? Yesterday and today, I have been eating non stop. I didn't even realize that I could be trying to keep that guard up. I am saying this to you so that you know that you are not alone. We both have come a long way and its about being the best person that we can be. Good luck on your quest and know that you are not alone.
  • becky444
    becky444 Posts: 145 Member
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    It is really amazing that we think that as large as I was we were invisible but I was. Nobody messed with me.

    Breaking down those walls is soo very hard but they will come down.
  • MzBug
    MzBug Posts: 2,184 Member
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    I can relate. Looks like you and I started about the same. I got to 76 pounds down, the last 6 came off at a crawl. I know my plateau is mental. This is the least I have weighed in the last 20-25 years. Those 20-25 years were not happy years. I had to figure out how to break through the cycle of self medication with food and now the self sabotage that is keeping me from getting past my "comfort zone". It will happen.

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