racing with friends - etiquette?

suzycreamcheese

im doing my first ever race today. A 10km with my cousin.
in a couple of weeks im doing my first half marathon with a friend.


What do most people do. Do you run with your friend, or do you start together and meet up at the finishline, but doing your own pace?

I dont really mind either, but i dont see getting any PBs or great times running together, although nicer in other ways

CarolynB38

I'm not sure really but I thought I'd reply with my thoughts to keep the thread going

I did a few races several years ago with friends but we all went our own pace. They were fairly big races though (one in Amsterdam which was fun!) and they tend to put you in the starting line-up depending on your predicted race time. I would talk to your friend about it. If you do start together you could always say to the friend if you want to go ahead or drop back and he/she could do the same but agree it before you start. Sometimes people are a little anxious when they start a race, so racing alongside a friend can help, but often the anxiety has gone after a short distance and they don't need that support/reassurance any more.

Discuss with your friends and see if you can come up with a plan. I'm sure a good friend would be more than happy for you to go ahead to get a PB or drop back if you need to. Good luck for you races and enjoy them :bigsmile:

flausa

I don't know the actual etiquette involved, but I've done one race with two other friends. We agreed before the race that because we didn't do all our training together that we would start together but then separate as we felt we needed. We ended up doing a couple of miles together quite happily, but as the pack started to thin out, our paces began to differ too greatly. I split off and then met up with them at a pre-agreed spot after the finish line.

I think if you aren't actually training together, your paces couldn't potentially hinder each other and you might not end up enjoying each other's company. Hopefully you can be open and honest discussing it with both your cousin and friend before your races.

Felixelus

well I've run with the same friend twice at half marathon distance. First time, we stuck together because we were raising money together so needed the good shots for the papers etc... I had a very emotionally hard race and ended up slowing down quite a bit which really frustrated him. I was just happy to finish and he was happy for me (my charity cause...he was supporting me like a good best friend should) but I could tell he wasn't happy with the way it went and his finish time. The second time we ran together, I made it clear that I was perfectly fine with him running off and getting his pb (no charity this time). Also I just wanted the pressure removed so I could focus on my own performance. We both ended up slashing our pbs.

I guess the moral of the story is you should talk to your friends, set clear goals and boundaries and stick to them. Just remember if you're faster than your friend, be there to cheer them at the finish line!! That really got my sprint finish, having him screaming at me at the end :P

Elzecat

I think it really depends on the friend and how it's brought up--my first race I did with a friend and it was such a big deal to her because she'd never done any type of race before, that I didn't want to run ahead and leave her behind. That was more important to me than a PR...So I ran too slowly (because she walked most of it) and was a bit uncomfortable...but I am doing a 10k with a different friend today and we already discussed it--she knows that I will probably start out with her but then run ahead a bit and meet her at the finish...and she's ok with it.

suzycreamcheese

im really stressed about my half marathon next week.
My friend who im rnning with, hasnt done nearly as much training as me, and has been fairly open about the fact that shes not enjoying running.
last time i asked her how it was going, she said ahh well, im sure ill have to walk a fair bit etc

Im annoyed and stressed because ive told her before that if she wasnt enjoying it, she shouldnt feel like she has to for me, and she said nooo, its a challenge, ive signedc up now etc


Ive been training for 9/10 months for this bloody thing, and am doing it for charity, i really dont want to be walking half of it. what sort of a challenge is that? I dont know how she'll take it if im straight with her and tell her that if she wants to walk it then we'll have to split up and do it seperatly

arc918

friendship ends at the starting line!

run your own race and meet up at the end (unless you train together and run at the same pace)

NotGoddess

I was thinking about this topic just yesterday.
I'll be running a 5k on the 16th-my first ever. I've only run the full 3 miles once so far, so I'm sure I'll be walking at least some of the time.
I'm doing it with my sister, who has been running 5k's all year. I wasn't sure if I should tell her that she doesn't need to pace me, but I feel a little better doing so now. That way I can run my best and not be worrying that I'm slowing her down.

dls06

I think you both have to run at your own pace. If someone falls back it doesnt' mean the other has too. Meet up at the finish line.

SueGremlin

You run at your pace and your friend runs at theirs.

hellen72

You need to run your own race.
I have occationally bumped into friends at races and run a while witth them then separated.

Sometimes I have done a race and been going for a time eg a couple of years ago I was aiming for around 3.55 at marathon. My friend was aiming for the same so we agreed to run together for as long as we could. If either of us felt we couldnt keep the pace then we would have dropped back with the other one going on keeping the pace. Both of us had the aim of a time not of running together. In the end we managed to stay together until the last 4 miles where I got infront on a narrow bit and pulled away a little. I felt guilty because we had come so far together but kept going. My pace was slightly off target at this point, I figured if my friend could still see me it would motivate her to keep going. When we spoke after she said she just kept trying not to let the gap widen so it did encourage her on and we both got a better tme than if I had held back with her. She finished about a minute behind and we were both happy with our PB

hellen72

So I think that perhaps the best way around this if you think it might be akward is to tell your friend you are aiming for a certain time and make that your goal. Then when she starts walking you can look at your watch and say you want to push on for this time. Maybe even big up a bit how much you want to get under X. You may find that your friend is worried about keeping up with you and is re saved if you have the conversation about not running together

barbiex3

friendship ends at the starting line!

run your own race and meet up at the end (unless you train together and run at the same pace)

this.

Legs_McGee

I run several times a week with the same friend and have for many years. We'll usually wait up for each other on long runs if one of us is having a bad day or recovering from an injury and needs to take it slower, but if one of us is having a great run then we'll take off on our own. And during races, we only run together as long as it feels right to do so; we each do our own pace. We ran together for the first 9 miles of our marathon a couple weekends ago, and then went our own ways.

Races like Warrior Dashes are a different story though; they're way too fun to do WITH my friends so we tend to stick together.

suzycreamcheese

she didnt walk, she kept up. She did bugger all training, and then when we sprinted for the end, she dropped her MP3 player, i tried to pick it up and she beat me LOL, can you believe it? Some people are just born for it.

Im so glad we ran together though, it was awesome

My training paid off in the sense that she was quite sore running, and had a lot of aches and pains, whereas i didnt, but i cant believe she bloody beat me :laugh: :laugh: