avoiding self-sabatoge on break-up night

paxetamore

I am not looking for pity party, just like-mindedness...

tonight had a 5 yrs of on/off again relationship dumped down the drain...

feeling very sad (as tears drench the keyboard) yet i know it is a good thing...

really wanting to jump into the vodka bottle on a saturday night and blow up my cals to make the heartache go away...

sassiebritches

I am not looking for pity party, just like-mindedness...

tonight had a 5 yrs of on/off again relationship dumped down the drain...

feeling very sad (as tears drench the keyboard) yet i know it is a good thing...

really wanting to jump into the vodka bottle on a saturday night and blow up my cals to make the heartache go away...

I am sorry sweets...How about a long bath, some good crying and bed

BeautyFromPain

Oh hun I'm so sorry, I know how you feel though I got heart broken just yesterday myself...

Maybe watch a good movie, talk a walk or go to sleep? Me, I just feel like sleeping for 10 years but still I somehow managed to pull myself to the gym last night and actually did the best workout i have ever done. Anger does great things to your workout routines LOL

PennyNickel14

Big Hugs. THAT SUCKS!

The vodka won't help. But it will help whiten your whites and make your hair shiny.

So go do some self care, because this new adventure you are starting is going to be awesome!

Jacole18

I've had a horrible day as well. I cured it with tons of crying!!! Don't give in to the alcohol or food binges, because believe me, that is EXACTLY what I wanted to do tonight! Drink some water, cry, and go to bed. I hope you feel better!!

netchik

You poor love. I feel for you, and the tears are a required part of the recovery process. But... Havs you tried an "angry workout"? It is where you use all the negative energy around you to kick the *kitten* out of your treadmill/bike or whatever and burn off some serious calories. Two plusses: endorphins, and he is going to be kicking himself once he sees hiw smokin you look at goal weight!

Keightisgr8

Hey girl, I know how it goes. I'm so sorry for your loss, but don't look at this as a time of self-sabotage, but as a time to make promises to YOURSELF, that you know you will keep and feel better about yourself and your self trust as well. Hang in there. This is the beginning of a new relationship with YOURSELF. I know I don't know you, but I'm always here to talk.

PanteraGirl

Hey don't worry bout it....I was with a man for 6 years....and I left him.....cancelled a wedding.....returned my dress.....lost my deposit on the dj, hall, limo etc....because I knew it would be best for the long run!!!

And you know what......I'm alright.......and you will be too!!!!! What is meant to be is meant to be!!! You need to remember that you are a strong woman and you are strong enough to move on!!!

kjannan

I broke up with a man I've spent the last 6 & a half years of my life with 3 weeks ago & I've been on here 5 weeks so I know just what you're going through!

I have to admit, I had one night where I sat down & ate, feeling sorry for myself. I'm ok now, I'm putting everything into my weight loss & it's actually helping me get through it.

Break ups are never easy & I wish I had some amazing advice for you but it will get easier with time & he'll be a faint memory when you're at the beach in a little bikini feeling great that you've reached your goal weight hehe

Jennieam

tonight had a 5 yrs of on/off again relationship dumped down the drain...

feeling very sad (as tears drench the keyboard) yet i know it is a good thing...

We all know what it feels like, and you have our sympathy ...

However (here is the "tough love" part), do not give up on the good work you have done in losing weight and regaining fitness. Do not sit at the keyboard feeling sorry for yourself (after all you "know it is a good thing"), go and scrub the kitchen floor!!!

Then take a bath (or shower), have something nourishing to eat (you have earnt it with the scrubbing of the floor!), and go to bed.

You can feel sorry for yourself tomorrow, or the next day. But not tonight when you are thinking of drowning your sorrows!!!

All the best.

meerkat70

Well, personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with having a couple of drinks, as long as it's in control. Don't sink to the bottom of the bottle, but a bit of treading water near the top will be fine, if it will help you feel calmer.

But that said, I agree with netchik. Anything I'd normally take to comfort eating or a bottle of red, I now take to the gym *first*. There's something about the movement of the elliptical, nice and punchy.... And when I was angry with relational messiness I used to take it to body combat - you can let your imagination go into overdrive there! It does help, and it does make you feel better. For me, exercise is a more functional way to *look after me*, rather than the old emotional self-nurturance stuff I used to do.

Above all, this is a tough time, so be gentle with yourself. Make yourself something good (which doesn't have to be calorific!) to eat. Take a nice long bath. Have a couple of friends round. Watch something that you couldn't have watched before on the telly without your former partner whinging about it.... Stretch out in the big ole bed and know that space is *yours, all yours* and that's a *good* thing.

paxetamore

Thank you all sooo much... u made me laugh & cry... both very big things at this moment! I do not not do either one nearly enough, so watching the Italian version of La Boheme with subtitles for the night..

Osie0129

oh man, this is never easy...dont give in to all the self-destructive things you really want to do!

give it time and stay busy. it gets better, the feeling dsnt last forever.

id say blast whatever music floats your boat and have a good cry or CLeAN!! idk why but i feel like those two things can be my saving grace when im feeling pooey

you might also want to give your girls a ring and have a night in or a night out dancing or something ( mini-workout ;] )

I hope this helps and you feel better!

i_love_vinegar

I know how you feel! I was with someone for nearly 3 years and broke it off over 6 months ago, yet I still get upset sometimes (I have nightmares namely). Im not sure who broke up with who in your case, but I did the breaking up and still cried for days afterward (and yes, Haagen Dazs was my main support system =/).

I think it is okay to mourn with a little vodka and chocolate tonight...give it a few days, and then try picking yourself back up again. It was a 5 year relationship so it's very understandable to be upset. ^^ Just remember there are plenty of fish in the sea, and it sounded like a rocky relationship anyways (on-and-off).

brobin41101

I am not looking for pity party, just like-mindedness...

tonight had a 5 yrs of on/off again relationship dumped down the drain...

feeling very sad (as tears drench the keyboard) yet i know it is a good thing...

really wanting to jump into the vodka bottle on a saturday night and blow up my cals to make the heartache go away...

I am so sorry to hear about your heartache. You have been amazingly supportive to me...and I want to return the support. Please don't turn to the Vodka bottle...it will only dull your pain for the moment. Pain and tears are a natural response to loss. Feel them,but don't allow them to define you.... ( feeling very sad (as tears drench the keyboard) yet i know it is a good thing...).... It will get easier . Allow yourself that time...feel sad ...then pick yourself up and treat yourself to all the good things in life,because you deserve them. :flowerforyou: YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY, AND HEALTHY. I will be here if you need to chat, or simply to nudge you in the right direction. P.S Remember the boot

Jennjenn1974

Do it. One night of vodka and chocolate is not going ruin anything. And if it makes you feel better, why the hell not? Tomorrow, you pick yourself up and start kicking *kitten* again.

Take care :flowerforyou:

queenlashona

So sorry. Sending you ((((hugs)))) to help you along the way. Release the tears and continue to take care of you.

laughingnome

Break ups are never easy but be strong,... make him jealous of what he lost and you win in the end. I know how you feel but time heals. BEST OF LUCK!