Weight Loss is Ruining my Marriage

sweetiebelle

I feel your pain & i here your cries. I've been there. My ex husband was like that. Just like that. Im so sorry you are going through this. If you ever want to talk I will always be here

jenstanley13

Did he like to go out before or is this something new? I feel for you but it sounds like the intimacy and going out has not changed but you have found more things that you want to do as you shed the pounds. I'm not trying to take his side but it sounds like you have changed (or at least gone back to the way you were before some of the weight gain) and he was and is happy with the way things have been and sees no reason or does not want to change. I see both sides, I live with a homebody and I require socialization in my life; we have found ways to compromise that we are both happy. I hope you can find the same compromise in your marriage.

I definitely think counseling is in order and hope he will go so that you can both work out the problems.

Eskajay

Most people have covered the majority of issues but what I would like to say is don't use his behaviour (& apparent desire to control you as a person) deter you from your success. There are so many other reasons to lose weight, such as your health being the obvious main one!!! This alone should be something that ( if he does love you) he should be over the moon about; and that you will be around for much longer and have so much less chance of developing many diseases such as heart disease, cholesterol problems & diabeties. You are still so young & I am so pleased for you that you are making an effort (& achieving great results!) to improve your health. If your husband truly loves you, (& you are able to get him to councelling) then he may be able to listen to you & understand that you are largely doing this for him as well ( although as I said..... you are the most important reason for doing this - because you owe it to yourself!) and one of the reasons that you are doing it is because you love him so much.
I have been married once before & although weight was not an issue.... there were other reasons why it didn't work..... largely because we were incompatible.... Maybe once you have both been to councelling this will become evident - as to whether you are compatible or not. We do change so much in our lives, as we mature & life is just too short to be with someone for the wrong reasons. I am not trying to tell you what you should do, except don't settle for anything less than what you deserve. There is always someone who will love you for you....Hopefully that is your husband - but please don't live the rest of your live in misery & PLEASE don't stop losing weight to keep your husband happy & in control of you! I am now happily re-married to someone who loves me unconditionally.... Best of luck
PS Oh.... & feeling/looking fantastic/sexy is one of the wonderful benefits of losing weight of course - & you also deserve that as well! If your husband looked at it from that point of view he might realise that he will gain from that too!

Oishii

I had a boyfriend with the same trust and control issues, and it turned out that he was the untrustworthy one. I'm not saying this is your husband's case, but trust issues can work both ways, and don't always equate with insecurity.

I realised, this time that I lost weight, that I had always hoped that my husband would be nicer to me when I did, so when he wasn't I'd put it all back on again. Realising this seems to have helped to prevent that cycle, and not seeing weight as tied up with our relationship seems to have helped us becnice to each other too.

I have to practically throw myself at my husband too, and as I'd like a second child, I'm going to have to try even harder! He really is tired a lot and we are very busy, but if your husband has time for video games, I guess that isn't the case.

I really hope you can work things out. Could you go away for a couple of days? Somewhere with no games console?

Dragongrl

Good grief!!! Your husband sounds just like mine!!!!