Stressed, Depressed, Exhausted, and past the point of break

Katgod318

Okay I started this back several months ago, and I was doing fairly well to say the least. I was losing weight, feeling better, had more energy, and actually did what needed to be done. Then my husband got really, really sick. He couldn't work, was sentenced to bed rest for the last 4 months, and I realized that things were going to get bad, but not this bad.

I have had to do everything for the last couple of months. From completely caring for a 4 and 2 year old, my husnad, me, and the house (getting them up, fed, dressed, to school with everything they are suppose to have, getting to work on time, picking them up from school, feeding the whole family, getting them in bathed, dressed and in bed, taking care of my husband CONSTANTLY, attempting to keep the house in order while working 2 jobs on about 4 hours of sleep a night, and starting it all over the next day). Thank GOD my husband has gotten well enough to go back to work part-time and I don't have that second job anymore, my sanity is getting a little better now.

I have had absolutely no time for me. I have gotten WAY off track on eating. I am completely stressed out, which is so not helping the situation. Every time I think about food, dieting, the scale, exercising, or anything that is suppose to make me feel better, I just want to cry. I have been so depressed with gaining every single pound I lost back and being so exhausted I can't think straight.

It's a new year, and I want more than anything to be healthy and fit. I just for some god for saken reason can't get in the mind set to do it. I need help. I need motivation. I need a guide. I need alot of things I can't seem to find.

I am sorry if I am ranting. I just needed to get this off my chest, and get some help figuring out where I need to start.

Katgod318

Okay I started this back several months ago, and I was doing fairly well to say the least. I was losing weight, feeling better, had more energy, and actually did what needed to be done. Then my husband got really, really sick. He couldn't work, was sentenced to bed rest for the last 4 months, and I realized that things were going to get bad, but not this bad.

I have had to do everything for the last couple of months. From completely caring for a 4 and 2 year old, my husnad, me, and the house (getting them up, fed, dressed, to school with everything they are suppose to have, getting to work on time, picking them up from school, feeding the whole family, getting them in bathed, dressed and in bed, taking care of my husband CONSTANTLY, attempting to keep the house in order while working 2 jobs on about 4 hours of sleep a night, and starting it all over the next day). Thank GOD my husband has gotten well enough to go back to work part-time and I don't have that second job anymore, my sanity is getting a little better now.

I have had absolutely no time for me. I have gotten WAY off track on eating. I am completely stressed out, which is so not helping the situation. Every time I think about food, dieting, the scale, exercising, or anything that is suppose to make me feel better, I just want to cry. I have been so depressed with gaining every single pound I lost back and being so exhausted I can't think straight.

It's a new year, and I want more than anything to be healthy and fit. I just for some god for saken reason can't get in the mind set to do it. I need help. I need motivation. I need a guide. I need alot of things I can't seem to find.

I am sorry if I am ranting. I just needed to get this off my chest, and get some help figuring out where I need to start.

ohthatbambi

First I am glad that your hubby is getting better. It sounds like you hit bottom and now just think, it can only get BETTER. Maybe now you try to squeeze a little time in for yourself. I used to feel guilty about taking off to the gym in the evneings, but I am over that. I give myself all day to my family and to others and when I have some time to go do for me...I GRAB it! Start doing for you a little bit here and there and gradually things will improve!

MrsCallas

Start small! Do not feel like you have to jump back in completely. Say you will only drink water or decided to cut out one small thing. I felt so overwhelemed and was in the middle of a seperation with my husband and had my 15 month son by myself. I understand part of where you are coming from. I just had to decide that I did not have to go full force. I just needed to start small!! I hope this helps! You deserve to be happy with your body and I know you can do it!! Good luck! Hang in there!

TRLTAMPA

I started my weight gain when my dad was sick a couple years ago. They always say take time for yourself, but there is no time to take. Literally.
But now that your husband is getting better, it is time to talk to him about "me time". I get 30 min a day to do whatever. It used to be to chill, alone, in my room, with the door closed. Now it's used for my jog. But it really helps.

brookefoley

First of all, you need to take care of you. I am glad to hear your husband is better so you can take him off your list of things to worry constantly about. If you don't stop giving yourself hell for gaining back the weight, you are going to stress yourself out even more, which you have been doing.

Just STOP. You don't need to feel all the guilt, frustration, etc anymore. Give yourself that permission.
Then, go run a bath. If it's tonight, after the kids are in bed, that's ok. Put some nice bubble bath in there, and just SOAK. Think about all of your worries soaking off of you. If you have to do this every night, that's good.

Repair your soul before you stress yourself out about not being able to work out. Congratulate yourself for your hard work, YOU Are the one who got your family through this hard time. I am sure your husband appreciates everything you have done and if your little ones could tell you that, they would, but as of now you just need to Tell it To Yourself: YOU did it. Give yourself permission to treat yourself kindly now.

If it takes you a little while to gradually start working out again, once or twice a week, and start eating healthy again to make yourself healthy, that's OK.

Breathe!!!
:flowerforyou:

chipper15173

rant all you want....doing that you figure out what you need and want for yourself. it really does help to talk about it. if the house just gets picked up so be it. if the dishes sit an extra day that's ok too. you have to take care of you or you are no good to anyone......just steal a few minutes to take a walk, to do some bending, to breath. while the kids are bathing ask DH to watch them and steal a short walk around the block. start by fixing healthy breakfasts, all can benifit from that. than work on lunchs. you don't have to do it all at once. you made it through now it's time to restructure things.
glad DH is doing better. keep up the good work you are really doing great, the kids and DH are healthy now, the house is still standing. you did a great job:flowerforyou:
best wishes to you....

Katgod318

Thanks to everyone!! I needed that. Everything you guys said is true. I just needed to hear it from someone besides myself. Sometimes, believe it or not, it helps!! I am going to start slow.

hmo4

First of all, reread what you wrote to us and think of what you'd see in this person. You are a strong, amazing person who has made it through a huge stressor in your life. We all have huge respect and admiration for all you've done for your family. Glad to hear your guy is better. Now, your back with your "support gang" who are here for you and cheering you on. If you can take control and manage a situation like that, then you can take control of your eating habits, drink your water, and start your exercising again to feel better. IT'S ALL ABOUT CONTROL. Once you're in the groove, there will be no stopping you. THIS IS YOUR TIME and demand it, and hold no guilt for the ways you coped during that rough time. See if you can join one of our Challenges. The Biggest Loser is only in week 2, and we're just starting a Valentine's Day one. Just don't beat yourself up if at first you flip flop...that's why we're here.