Bored in a hotel..

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24

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  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
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    Work just called me and wanted me to open at 5:30am tomorrow...but I'm off for 2 days and went outta town so I can't!

    This day just keeps gettin better and better!
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
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    Work just called me and wanted me to open at 5:30am tomorrow...but I'm off for 2 days and went outta town so I can't!

    This day just keeps gettin better and better!


    "I'm not even supposed to be here today! "
  • Tzipporah90
    Tzipporah90 Posts: 126
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    A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 -year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of you sons of *****es who want off, get the hell off now... cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of *****es who are getting on, get your *kitten* on the train...cause we're going down the tracks.
    The horrified mother went in and told her son, 'We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train...but I want you to use nice language.'
    Two hours later, the boy came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say... 'All passengers, please remember your things, thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.' She heard her little darling continue...'For those of you just boarding, remember, there is no smoking in the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.'
    As the mother began to smile, the child added, 'For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the ***** in the kitchen

    Awkward, I am in starbucks supposdly studying while reading this and I laughed outloud. This is hilar.
  • OSC_ESD
    OSC_ESD Posts: 752 Member
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    Hold the phone .. that horse looks alot like a camel ... or vice versa ! LOL ! Nice job ... still bored ? ;)
  • Kinda79
    Kinda79 Posts: 239 Member
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    A man sitting next to a beautiful blonde on a plane looked over to see her sitting there in shock from the headline in the newspaper she was holding, which read "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed in Riots." She turned toward him and with trembling voice asked "How many is a brazilian?


    A blond pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"


    3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier's face: Priceless!


    A lady walked into a pharmacy and spoke to the pharmacist.
    She asked: "Do you have Viagra?"
    "Yes," he answered.
    She asked, "Does it work?"
    "Yes," he answered.
    "Can you get it over the counter?" she asked.
    "I can if I take two," he answered.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,704 Member
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    Got an hour or so to kill...anyone wanna entertain me?

    Jokes, stories, songs, vids....

    aaand go!
    Go the the fitness center.
  • Tzipporah90
    Tzipporah90 Posts: 126
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    Ha ! Nice " dude " you made there ... perhaps you can make a animal with your pj's and post it ... reminds me of the cruises I take. See, now your entertaining me ! :)
    ?|


    Best I could do, I made a horse:

    horse.jpg

    Those are actually REALLy good animals.




















    and a camel:

    camel.jpg
  • Tzipporah90
    Tzipporah90 Posts: 126
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    Ha ! Nice " dude " you made there ... perhaps you can make a animal with your pj's and post it ... reminds me of the cruises I take. See, now your entertaining me ! :)
    ?|


    Best I could do, I made a horse:

    horse.jpg

    Those are actually REALLy good animals.




















    and a camel:

    camel.jpg

    Those are actually REALLY good animals!!
  • ohpiper
    ohpiper Posts: 729 Member
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    Whatever you do, don't turn on an ultraviolet light.
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
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    Outside my window:

    car.jpg


    I gotta run thought, meetin a hot date!

    Will be back later for more entertainment!!!!!

    :wink:
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
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    Ha ! Nice " dude " you made there ... perhaps you can make a animal with your pj's and post it ... reminds me of the cruises I take. See, now your entertaining me ! :)
    ?|


    Best I could do, I made a horse:

    horse.jpg





















    and a camel:

    camel.jpg


    LOL dude....oh my..:laugh:
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
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    The government today announced that it is changing our symbol from an eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance....A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of ****s, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!
    Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that!

    Lmto. .. love this~
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
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    Ok...I'm back MFP

    My date lasted 45 minutes..

    and she showed up dressed as a snake..

    I couldn't make this *kitten* up.


    Back at the hotel, to ponder my next move.......

    I'm so serious right now.

    :grumble:
  • Tzipporah90
    Tzipporah90 Posts: 126
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    WHAT?? Did u drive out of town just for her and thats how it went down?
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
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    WHAT?? Did u drive out of town just for her and thats how it went down?

    Not just that. Business AND pleasure.

    So far...I've aquired very little of each.
  • Tzipporah90
    Tzipporah90 Posts: 126
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    I dont know if you found it funny or anything, but I find that to be so disrespectful of her.
  • Tangerine302
    Tangerine302 Posts: 1,509 Member
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    I like the joke about the little girl and the sheetrock! hahaha

    That's a pretty good horse! :)
  • masterfitness4u
    masterfitness4u Posts: 107
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    You should at least jump on the bed for a little while.

    ROFl! And upload to YouTube.
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
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    I dont know if you found it funny or anything, but I find that to be so disrespectful of her.


    I find the situation funny. Like...it's givin me a story to tell my friends.

    But now I got nothin else to do. It was literally maybe 45 mins, I dunno.

    The snake rejected me I guess.

    Does it get any worse??
  • Tzipporah90
    Tzipporah90 Posts: 126
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    At least it cant be hurtful that a SNAKE rejected you!! WEIRDOOO!!!!
    Awesome story to tell your friends but def still disrespectful! Hope your night makes a 360 and you end up with a way better ending to the night

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