Advice on a reward chart for my son please!

mommyoftwins05

Hi all,

My 9 year old son has these major fits... I mean major! He will start yelling, calling you names, throwing stuff and so on. But then he can be the most caring kid you'll meet but anyways..

I want to do this reward chart..and I want to give him this bug box as a reward (he loves catching butterflys and frogs and so on) the chart I found has 12 spots..

My question is.. do I give him the reward when he can go 12 days straight with no fit.. Or what I was thinking.. just mark a spot on the days he has no fit..and if he has fits in between he doesn't get it marked and it'll just take him longer to get his reward.. what do you think?

I'm trying to get these fits under control .. lately its been everyday and I'm at my wits end..and he has his 6 year old brother trying to follow him.

He had a major fit before school..and once he calmed down I told him that I bought him this reward and that we will do a chart.. I hope it helps.. Once he earns this one I'll start a new one.. and maybe could do mcdonalds with mommy or daddy or something...

NKF92879

The reward needs to be sooner. Twelve days is an eternity for a 9 year old, and he'll feel it's hopeless to try. Think about maybe doing smaller increments, with smaller rewards. Like maybe an extra 5 minutes of screen time (TV, movie, computer, video game...) for each day he doesn't have a fit.

Tangerine302

That sounds like a good idea about a chart except I feel 12 days is too long for him. Especially if he's been having trouble each day. I wonder if something is bothering him and he doesn't know how to deal with it so he's acting up instead. Has he said anything about school or anything? I would go one or 2 days at first if it's this much of a problem. Hopefully you can figure out what is causing him to do this and try and correct that. Good luck, it's hard sometimes.

ket_the_jet

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Why celebrate mediocrity? Good behavior should be expected, not bribed.
-wtk

dls06

http://www.supernanny.com/Reward-Charts.aspx

Cut and paste. It has a lot of good Ideas.:flowerforyou:

_beachgirl_

I think going 12 days straight without a fit may be too hard at first. I would start with going 2-3 days without an incident, then he gets a prize, then the next prize is at 4 days, the next prize at 5 days, etc.

I have used reward charts and they have worked, but you have to be consistent, if the reward is going to be a toy, then he shouldn't get any other toys except for the ones as a reward, if it's going to McDonald's then you shouldn't take him there over the weekend because you are out and just want to grab a quick lunch.

Tangerine302

With a child who is behaving like a happy 9 year old, yes good behavior should be expected. In this case, he seems to be having some issues and it sounds like something else is bothering him. Once that is solved I think he will be happier and not behave this way.

mommyoftwins05

Thanks all! Yeah I think something is bugging him too. He does have ADD and I believe they can change from one mood to the next too. I'm going to try this.. and then if it doesn't work.. then I'll keep trying to find something that helps him.