Have you ever had someone tell say "you don't need to lose w

bidwhist

My sister in law said that to me about two months ago. Now she really is overweight, and needs to be on a diet. I was telling her what I was trying to do has far as eating and working out. Then she said I didn't need to lose wait because I wasn't fat. I have gained nearly 80 lbs since high school. Granted I graduated almost 20 yrs ago, but 80 lbs is 80 lbs.

I don't know if by her being so large compared to me made me appear skinny. I was just shocked that she could think that someone 5'4 200 lbs(back in January, 30 lbs less when she made the comment) could not be fat.

kirstiey

confused...How much did you actually weigh when she said it?

suemar74

Quite a few of the ladies at my TOPS meetings said it to me all the time, even though my weight is at the line between "overweight" and "obese". It made me feel like I wasn't getting the support I was looking for there. I eventually stopped going.

Hoppymom

She may feel that if you think you are in need of weight loss it makes her look bad if she is heavier than you. She may feel "fatter""" because you have lost and she doesn't like it so she is trying to sabotage you (consiously or unconsiously). I wouldn't listen to her.

Jenny_Bee

We all have our journeys, however different our goals and numbers may be. Sometimes my friends focus only on their goals because they feel they have more to lose, but that doesn't make my journey any easier either. Remind your sister-in-law that we are all in this together with a common goal of being healthy and happy.

Bonny272

I've gained at least 50 since school. The more people around you doing the same thing kind of says it's okay. If you lose weight she'd have to make some decisions she's not ready to make yet. Just keep getting healthy and when she's ready you introduce her to this site.

lizziebeth1028

I think sometimes they're jealous of your commitment to loose weight and better your health. Plus misery loves company....they want an equally overweight friend (or in this case sister in law), that way they don't have to feel like they need to try and loose weight.

cbirdso

If you look around, so many people are overweight that it appears more 'normal' to be overweight than a normal BMI. I found this to be true for myself. 20 pounds ago I thought I looked GREAT! Mostly because then I was smaller than the average person. But now as I have slimmed down more, I can realize what an improvement it is in my overall looks and health. Just nod your head and keep following your own goals.

JediMaster_intraining

this happened to me with my ex roommate (who turned out to be not so nice). she was bigger than i was though we were about the same height. she would always say "you are not fat! let's go to taco bell" or "you are soooo skinny". i mean compared to her and her friend who would come over ....maybe i wasn't that bad. of course i knew i was overweight by 30 pounds. i dunno...maybe she wanted me to get fatter because she'd always invite me to go eat fast food and she would buy me donuts (when i don't eat them and shouldn't eat them) randomly. i mean...c'mon. i told you several times that i am losing weight stop tempting me with donuts and chinese food.

New_Hope

My family tells me that all the time. They're also all very overweight (most are obese to morbidly obese). I think a lot of people who say that just don't want to have to admit to themselves that if you need to lose weight, then they need to lose weight as well.

martinbeks

My exroommate, who is about 5'0", and around 110-120 during the time I knew her, kept telling me that when we were living together. I'm a lot taller than her (5'9") and weighed a WHOLE LOT more than her at the time (283). She was really insecure, though. I think she was worried that I'd try to steal her boyfriend or something, and was trying to psych me out. Frenemies are grand, aren't they?

paperpromisesx3

I get it here at work all the time .. "you don't need to lose weight. you're so thin". I'm SHORT so just because I weigh less, doesn't mean I'm thin. Yes I'm the thinnest one in the office ... but that doesn't mean I'm "thin" .. the most important thing is to do it for you, and listen to yourself. If you listen to other people, it won't benefit you.

auntiebabs

If she recognizes your issues. She can't maintain denial about her own weight problems.

Sometimes I switch to the "it's not so much about the weight, it's more about eating right to be healthier and feel better." strategy.
"I'm just tired of feeling like crap"

People may contradict you on weight, but no one knows how you feel.
While some folks say "it's okay to have a donut (or whatever) you don't have to worry about your weight" but most folks won't say "Awww, really it's okay to feel like crap"

jamielise2

It's hard to be around people who are not supportive, and I'm betting most of them have no ill intentions. The reality is that people are so careful these days to not offend ANYONE that they seek to build themselves and others up with false flattery. A good possible response to people like that is: "Thank you for saying that, but I feel uncomfortable in my own skin...so I'm going to focus on getting myself healthy so I'll feel better". Beyond that It's nobody's business. I have a cousin who was a size 6 who had gained enough weight that she felt she needed to lose weight. What she really needed was to tone her body and feel good in her own skin again.

fteale

Yes. All the time.

kitinboots

Yes. When I'm not talking about losing weight to begin with. I tell people I'd like to lower my bfp and tone up, and they respOnd by telling me I don't need to lose weight. It's very irritating and shows how misinformed or how bad at listening people are.
It's either that or 'muscles on girls look gross'.

capriciousmoon

Yes. I'm actually scared to admit to people that I want to lose weight because of that type of reaction. There's also the whole "If you think you're fat, what do you think about me" line of thinking.

I had someone look at me like I was crazy because I said I'd rather bike somewhere than get a ride in a car. She thought I didn't need exercise because I don't need to lose weight.

terar21

Yes. I'm actually scared to admit to people that I want to lose weight because of that type of reaction. There's also the whole "If you think you're fat, what do you think about me" line of thinking.

I had someone look at me like I was crazy because I said I'd rather bike somewhere than get a ride in a car. She thought I didn't need exercise because I don't need to lose weight.

I find this a common situation as well. You'll never be able to satisfy any is the conclusion I've come to. I never tell people unless I know it's someone who would genuinely be happy that I'm trying to better myself. I think the expectation of what a normal body weight is has changed even though health has stayed the same. So people that are not nearing a high level of obesity are often approached differently when they say they are trying to lose weight.

I've defaulted to "trying to get in shape and be healthy" and just leave weight out of it all together.

terar21

*double post

MikeSEA

Unless a doctor tells me I shouldn't lose weight, I like to think of something I heard Ru Paul say:

"Other people's opinions about me are none of my business."

martinbeks

I like that!