Looking for advice

greybeh

I got a notification that someone on a dating site looked at my profile. It was something I posted years ago. Well, I read his profile over and we actually have a lot in common.

I guess I don't have a picture posted at the website, but at the time I posted my description, I was in better physical shape. Since posting my profile, I got sick and put on most of the weight I'd managed to lose.

I have fibromyalgia and am just recently getting treated for sleep apnea and am finally on track for better health. Well, when this guy emailed me back, he was pretty brief and asked if I could send a picture.

I'm pretty bummed out, and thinking of just not replying. Truth is, he said he was also looking for friends and I just felt encouraged thinking that if nothing else, we could just be friends. Of course he wants to see who he's talking to, too. I've been down to 155lbs, and am now just over 300lbs. Emotionally, it was a set-back just being asked for a picture and feeling like he might not be interested in even pursuing a friendship. Fear of rejection, totally.

I kinda thought it was safer to just try to get my health back in order before even putting myself in a position in which I would pursue a relationship and now I'm FEELING better (it's still no guarantee of continued health), but I am not yet at a place that I am confident with my looks. On the other hand, I hate that I would let my weight get in the way of meeting people. I guess I'm just venting, but I know I can't be alone in feeling the way I do.

cpegasus01

Send a message back letting him know that you haven't been on that website in a VERY long time and during that time you have had some health issues and you aren't comfortable with how you look in pics. If he replies back that he still wants to be friends then by all means carry on!

coracbeck

I agree with cpegasus - there's something to be said for a true friendship, and that's what this could turn out to be if not in the romantic sense. You said you have a lot in common and aren't sure about a relationship anyway - so what do you have to lose??

sarahkova

be upfront and honest with him about how long it had been all the stuff that has happened in your life, and then change your profile.

I met my now Husband when I was 299.9lbs (I weighed in at WW that morning )