Question for people

cnsmith2
cnsmith2 Posts: 539 Member
in Chit-Chat
I am trying to help a friend and I'm at a loss.

She was asked out by a coworker here. She said yes, but she doesn't want to go out with him.

I told her that she should go still go out with him and be polite, etc. and just IF he happens to ask her out again explain that she's thought/prayed about it etc and that while she is flattered she doesn't want to get involved with anyone that she is working with. Other people have told her the same.

She doesn't want to go through with it at all.

Thoughts?

Replies

  • Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused
    Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused Posts: 935 Member
    My thoughts are she shouldn't have said yes if she didn't want to go out with him. She made the mess herself, time for her to either tell him no, or go through the motions and not have a second date.
  • xAdrianax
    xAdrianax Posts: 269 Member
    No one should make her feel forced to go out with him to be honest. I mean she shouldnt have said yes in the first place but maybe she panicked.

    Its her decision, its easy for you guys to say 'oh just go on the date' but she may feel incredibly awkward and then it will be even more akward for her to decline second date if this guy likes her!

    Im speaking from experience, its not nice and if you not feeling it and theres no spark and you dont even wanna in the first place, its not the right time.

    A lot of people have this thing where they feel they need to do things to be polite and not to offend anyone, I may of done this too but now im just like hell no! people appreciate honesty and being straightforward! And why make yourself do something you dont want to!

    Any way, just my opinion from personal experience...
  • KimberlyBryant
    KimberlyBryant Posts: 31 Member
    there are 2 possible things that she could do. 1.) Tell him before hand that she had been thinking about it and all tho she is flattered she feels uncomfortable with the situation and would rather keep it professional. . ( all tho embarrassing to go back now, its better then getting in a situation that is harder to get out of later) or 2.) go out with him, thank him for a lovely time and let it go at that.
  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
    oooo this is along those lines "You've made your bed, now lie in it." (which I never really understood. I always turn down my bed to lie in it.. but I digress.)

    She should've said no. Now she needs to undo what she did. I'd tell her to tell him "Y'know, I'm really sorry, I don't think we should go out. I thought about it some more, and I really wouldn't want to make the workplace weird. So I'm going to have to cancel our date." And hopefully she sticks to it. Because you know he's going to wear on her "It won't make it weird here..."

    You should NEVER dip your pen in the company ink unless you both have the understanding that you're just dipping;)
  • shanolap
    shanolap Posts: 1,204 Member
    oooo this is along those lines "You've made your bed, now lie in it." (which I never really understood. I always turn down my bed to lie in it.. but I digress.)

    She should've said no. Now she needs to undo what she did. I'd tell her to tell him "Y'know, I'm really sorry, I don't think we should go out. I thought about it some more, and I really wouldn't want to make the workplace weird. So I'm going to have to cancel our date." And hopefully she sticks to it. Because you know he's going to wear on her "It won't make it weird here..."

    You should NEVER dip your pen in the company ink unless you both have the understanding that you're just dipping;)

    EXACTLY!!
  • sarahlucydaynes26
    sarahlucydaynes26 Posts: 263
    I have been in this predicament and me and my boss at the time fancied the *kitten* off each other! HOWEVER we both knew it was work before pleasure so to speak and I dont mean that as a pun :tongue:
    You all should know what I mean. Meaning know drinks outside work. Of course we went out as a work party, flirted outside work even inside to a degree where yes it was obvious to everyone BUT I left the company for my own reasons and then he contacted me after and asked me out so I said Y.E.S! :happy:
    xx

Categories