personal vent.. I may be a B*$#@

hillm12345

I have a co-worker friend who recently had a baby. by recently I mean LAST july. she has been complaining about both her weight and her money since baby was born. Ok so I complain too, get to the point.

Well, she's really starting to P*ss me off!!! She's constantly complaining about money.. she's got a negative balance in her bank account. Amazingly she also recently purchased season football tickets. She's so far behind, she's receiving money (welfare) from the government.. Amazingly again, she's recently joined Weight Watchers at $20 a month.... She can't pay her mortgage.. OH but wait!!! she goes out to the bars 4 nights a week. AND oh no poor thing can't lose a pound so on top of the monthly diet plan, she's also joined an expensive gym.

Ok, so now for the sabotaging part... every time she goes to the bar she's gotta have a "wingman" and apparently I'm it. I feel bad for her in a way.. she's a divorced mother of 4.. and her youngest child was a one night stand turned into a makeshift boyfriend/baby daddy and that's how she meets guys.. in a bar. But I neither have the money nor the calories to be wasting them in a dirty hole in the wall bar. I've told her repeatedly that I'm saving money, and i'm trying to lose weight but she won't listen. Pretty soon, i'll need her like a hole in the head.

Thank you for listening. I feel better.

Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused

How does she raise her kids?

Aj1214

I know these types of people actually. I never hang out with them.

Very sad. Also angering.

NinjaMonkey201

Doesn't it feel good to vent? I vented earlier today. :-D
Next time she wants to hit the bar, tell her you can't, you gotta hit the gym. And then leave and go to the gym. Maybe, just maybe, she might actually go with one time. Maybe.

ninerbuff

I have a co-worker friend who recently had a baby. by recently I mean LAST july. she has been complaining about both her weight and her money since baby was born. Ok so I complain too, get to the point.

Well, she's really starting to P*ss me off!!! She's constantly complaining about money.. she's got a negative balance in her bank account. Amazingly she also recently purchased season football tickets. She's so far behind, she's receiving money (welfare) from the government.. Amazingly again, she's recently joined Weight Watchers at $20 a month.... She can't pay her mortgage.. OH but wait!!! she goes out to the bars 4 nights a week. AND oh no poor thing can't lose a pound so on top of the monthly diet plan, she's also joined an expensive gym.

Ok, so now for the sabotaging part... every time she goes to the bar she's gotta have a "wingman" and apparently I'm it. I feel bad for her in a way.. she's a divorced mother of 4.. and her youngest child was a one night stand turned into a makeshift boyfriend/baby daddy and that's how she meets guys.. in a bar. But I neither have the money nor the calories to be wasting them in a dirty hole in the wall bar. I've told her repeatedly that I'm saving money, and i'm trying to lose weight but she won't listen. Pretty soon, i'll need her like a hole in the head.

Thank you for listening. I feel better.

How is she on welfare and working at the same time? I can understand section 8 housing, but is she receiving money from welfare?
Anyway, you need to drop her or just put your foot down or else you'll be pacifying everyone the rest of your life.

EmilyAnn89

just tell her you can't. tell her you have no money and you aren't going to waste it on drinks at the bar or tell her that you have other plans. sometimes you just have to say no. it's hard, but in the end they will eventually get the picture.

sunkisses

Reason # Eleventy-twelve I don't keep friends unless they've undergone the initiation process.

manderson27

Life is too short to waste on people who p*ss you off. Kick her to the kerb and find a friend with the same kind of goals in life.:ohwell:

Loko_Ino

Kick her for me..people like that make me sick and should be locked up. Who is watching her 1 year old while she is out tramping around?
Stop being her wingman

Ingage

Unfortuneatly, I know this person as well. Give her an excuse she should understand. That you are out of money. Since you work with her, this might be the easiest way to avoid the "gal code" and not be a wingman.

MFPAddict

Tell her you don't appreciate her drinking our tax dollars, then dump her as a friend.

ajk828

Just say no.

Problem solved.

LauraMacNCheese

Tell her you don't appreciate her drinking our tax dollars, then dump her as a friend.

^^ This ^^

koosdel

Just say no.

Problem solved.

But.. but... that would be simple and drama free? Why would anyone want to do that?

maura5880

Ugh, I cannot stand when people complain about life issues and do nothing to fix them! If she's overweight, stop complaining & GO to the gym that she's (somehow) paying for! If she's broke, then she has no business being out at the bar so often. People need to realize that complaining about their problems is not helping, they need to take action to see results!

kennethmgreen

Your profile says you are 28 years old. Surely you've had to say no before, even though it might hurt someone's feelings. Now is one of those times.

kennethmgreen

Ugh, I cannot stand when people complain about life issues and do nothing to fix them! If she's overweight, stop complaining & GO to the gym that she's (somehow) paying for! If she's broke, then she has no business being out at the bar so often. People need to realize that complaining about their problems is not helping, they need to take action to see results!

I honestly thought you were going in a different direction when you started.

SiltyPigeon

People are stupid. Which is why I have no friends.

hillm12345

Thanks all for your support. I do say no all the time and I have to keep telling myself not to feel bad. Thank you for helping me put this into perspective.

glitterpiss

I know people like this, and they are not my friends. She sounds like a miserable person to get around and no one should have to endure that.

ladybg81

Where is her child in all of this? Some people should be able to procreate.

elfie9863

People are stupid. Which is why I have no friends.

Yup...and most people annoy the crap outta me. I feel for the OP .. putting up with this at work is more work than the work.

Glad I got to retire early.

Jade_Butterfly

Sadly I know one like that. . . has no money. . . but instead of diet and exercise "because it doesn't work" she just has to go and have the fat melting laser surgery done. . . and have it FINANCED. . . oh my gosh. . . for a few thousand dollars. . . .

TooFatToFit

I'm pretty tolerant usually, but people like that I could NOT stand to be around more than necessary.
I'm also wondering how she can work and be on welfare at the same time, but maybe it's different in the US.
I can be pretty bad at saying NO, but in this case I'd probably find it pretty easy. NO, I am NOT going to the bar with you.

juliecat1

No one is FORCING you to go anywhere with her. Youre doing that. Just stop already. You cant do anything about the choices she makes in her own life but you dont have to put yourself into it.

puggleperson

I know these types of people actually. I never hang out with them.

Very sad. Also angering.

This!

She sounds like a low life... Don't associate yourself with people like her

3shirts

Some of these comments are a bit cold. I get the point that if she is dragging you down, you don't need it but here is my totally unqualified psychological opinion:
She is struggling to cope with life so she tries to forget about it with the going out etc. It also sounds like she has quite an addictive personality. I have a friend like this who used to drink too much. When we went out he'd buy loads of drinks for me and our other friends and it became obvious that he had subconscious guilt about how much he was drinking which was eased by having others around him who were drinking a similar amount.
She is probably doing a similar thing, trying to use you to justify to herself that going out all the time is 'normal'. In my opinion you need to just tell her that you can't afford it and it's not good for your weight loss either. If she sees that you don't think it's sensible it might break down her justification.

Also, why not suggest you guys work out together instead? It will have the same benefits of helping her forget about the negatives in her life but also be good for you both.