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gaining a LOT of weight after bereavement

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  • bbl2013tbbl2013t Member Posts: 49 Member Member Posts: 49 Member
    I was dating an I just met one of my girlfriends and we were both super skinny. a week later my best friend died. this happened about 6 years ago and had the funeral a few days after. we both had minimum wage jobs and we would get drunk and smoke after work everyday then we started stuffing ourselves with junk food right after funeral and with in 6 months we were so fat was 310 and my gf was 360. I gained 210lbs and my gf gained 290.we tried to diet but we just got bigger and now I weigh 360 and she weighs 398
  • SlimTrimRightNowSlimTrimRightNow Member Posts: 1 Member Member Posts: 1 Member
    I'm so sorry all of you went through this.

    I can relate. My mom died last year and I gained 21 pounds within a few months.

    The last year with her was pretty grueling, because as the cancer spread, she abused and belittled me.

    But now I'm back on track. I've lost 10 pounds so far.

    Another 12 to go.

    Would love to hear from others, who've gone weight gain after loss.
  • CTcutieCTcutie Member Posts: 649 Member Member Posts: 649 Member
    Perfect storm: I am just recently at the weight I was (still overweight, lol)back in 2007 when the following happened: the company I worked at tanked and we all lost our jobs (May); my beloved dog had to be euthanized due to sudden/severe Lyme disease (August); I finally got the job I wanted (yay!) closer to my family and relocated back to the NE (September) from the SE; my mom passed away 6 weeks later (October) :sad: ... And THEENNNN realizing that my long-term relationship was NOT going to work out, I needed to end that bc he wasn't going to relocate/no ring in sight! :brokenheart:

    And then- the eating got seriously out of control and I gained 45 pounds over the next 5 years. Also, exercise was more of a social event than a mindful practice during those years.

    Usually my life is stable, uneventful and/or just sorta boring! I like that MUCH better than the uber drama of 2007 :smile:
  • fruttibiscottifruttibiscotti Member Posts: 995 Member Member Posts: 995 Member
    Oh my goodness, my heart goes out to you. I hope you emerge a strong person from this. Your first step is a good one, reaching out like this and finding out you are not alone and are worthy of being heard and cared for,
  • AthijadeAthijade Member Posts: 2,384 Member Member Posts: 2,384 Member
    It sucks doesn't it? I lost my mom in May of 2013 so I have an understanding of the sort of things you dealt with. I too put on weight near the end and right after. I had lost 36lbs and gained back 18 of them. It wasn't so much turning to comfort food for me. It was the depression and not having the energy to cook or work out. So I was depending on frozen meals or fast food so that I would eat. Because honestly, there were days I just would not eat because I did not care.

    Let me tell you and anyone else who is having to deal with this. If you feel like you might need professional help, do not put it off. There is nothing to be ashamed of! Getting your mental health under control will only help your physical health.

    Good luck to you.
  • happieharpiehappieharpie Member Posts: 229 Member Member Posts: 229 Member
    Just sending hugs to you all. My sweet dad died 2 1/2 weeks after my first child was born, totally without warning. I have no answers, but Ihope you will all take the best care of yourself that you can.
    I know that if someone has loved you they would want you to be good to yourself when they pass on.
  • KboxUKboxU Member, Premium Posts: 4 Member Member, Premium Posts: 4 Member
    Yes it happened to me. My beautiful mom passed away Jan 23rd of this year. I gained weight rapidly after only one month. I really didnt realize it until a mutual friend of my girlfriend said he asked "is she okay....she looks different...". In my book..looking different is a secret code for.."she gained weight". Admittedly Iooked in the mirror while walking by and I didnt recognize myself. This was prior to the comment. My face swelled...complexion changed...even a coworker said i had sad eyes. The impact of moms death broke my heart to the point that it showed not only in weight gain but showed on my face!. Theres a saying that says we are responsible for the wrinkles on our face after 40...or something like that. Now ive lived long enough to experience it. Right now im on a personal journey. Im back in the gym full time again. Ive always been active and i love exercise. Now my mom is my motivation when I feel like quitting. I miss her dearly but i know she'd want me to never thrown in the towel and to keep God first.
  • 4theking4theking Member Posts: 1,198 Member Member Posts: 1,198 Member
    Been there and done that. We all deal with grieving differently. One thing is for sure, eating, drinking, or any other physical thing we do to ease our pain never works. Seek God in your time of pain and heartache and He will bring you through in a way you never thought possible. Only He can take something ugly and make it beautiful!
  • onefortyoneonefortyone Member Posts: 531 Member Member Posts: 531 Member
    I am so sorry for your loss, and the loss of all the loved ones in this whole thread, it is heartbreaking that we all deal with so much pain. I was 38 weeks pregnant when my daughter unexpectedly passed away, no real cause was ever found for her death and I delivered her that same day. She was so, so beautiful.

    I stayed active and didn't gain a lot during pregnancy (18lbs) and so I didn't have anything to lose when I left the hospital. But I put on 15lbs, making me 215lbs, which is where I am still at, two and a half years and another pregnancy later. I was never skinny but losing her and the anxiety of another pregnancy really made me not trust my body at all, and I am only just starting to learn to like it again.

    Now I have my son I feel so much more motivated to stay active. I want him to have an active healthy childhood, and he is almost 1 so now is my chance to make it happen.
  • AzdakAzdak Member Posts: 8,281 Member Member Posts: 8,281 Member
    itontae wrote: »
    I gained a lot of weight very quickly when my lovely mum died last year. It seems not everyone stops eating when stressed/sad. I coped by drinking a lot of wine and eating a ton of unhealthy stuff.

    I am now on a mission to lose it.

    I consider it to be "sad fat" so am twice as keen to get rid of it because it represents all the pain and sadness I felt about watching mum die. I feel the fat is almost suffocating me.

    Has anyone experienced anything similar?

    Thanks

    My Golden Retriver died suddenly in 2011. Others might not think that especially traumatic, but it affected me deeply (still does even writing this). I went on a eating binge for months afterwards. I knew exactly what I was doing and, quite frankly I didn't care. In fact, I almost consciously wanted to "hurt" myself in an attempt to try to mute the emotional pain of the loss. Injuries and dramatic work schedule changes helped keep the weight on until just recently. Overall, I slowly got back control of my life and recommitted at the beginning of this year. Happy to say that I am now back to my lowest weight before.

    You are not alone, nor have you done anything "wrong". Everyone has to move forward at their own pace. It sounds as though you are ready. I think you will find that your commitment and the physical effects of working out will greatly improve your sense of well-being. Good luck!



  • choppie70choppie70 Member Posts: 544 Member Member Posts: 544 Member
    I am so sorry for your loss.

    2013 was horrible for me and I gained the 25 lbs I lost and then another 20 on top of it!

    In late Dec. of 2012 I wound up in the ER with a huge kidney stone, I was having bi weekly surgeries to try to get rid of the stone. My grandfather died in late Jan. Then two weeks later my dad had surgery and had a huge stroke and passed away. Then about 4 weeks later my uncle died in a horrific accident when he was driving his cement truck. Needless to say I was an emotional mess!

    I am one of those people who eat when I am stressed, eat when I am happy, eat when I am sad... I just eat!

    You will know when you are ready. My dad was always my biggest supporter and I know he is helping me along this journey.

    In the past year I have lost all of the gained weight and am plugging through. Exercising and helping me helped me get through the rough time.
  • VryIrishGirl76VryIrishGirl76 Member Posts: 1,058 Member Member Posts: 1,058 Member
    Right there with you.
    I lost my best friend and my Father within a year of each other.
    Almost to the day.
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