no support from spouse
SmileyLaurie
Posts: 3
I have list 14lb this month, but my husband is not supportive in anyway. Any advice?
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Replies
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Ignore him - weight loss is for YOU!0
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Ignore him - weight loss is for YOU!
Agreed0 -
show him your pimp hand?
find a 14lb bowling ball and drop it on the couch next to him and tell him that is what you worked your *kitten* off to lose.0 -
Do it for you....don't feel guilty.0
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Ignore him - weight loss is for YOU!
Before you ignore him, why not find out why he's not supportive? Maybe he is feeling neglected, possibly would like to be included, or just plain would like to be a part of your accomplishments. Isn't that what marriage is all about?0 -
Try to not let it get to you..do this for yourself and no one else....Im in the same situation...and I keep reminding myself that Im doing this for ME this time around..makes me feel better ...0
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They are right. My spouse is sort of "blah" either way. Which is fine I guess. But this is for you and not anyone else. If your hubby complains, then he can either join you or leave it alone.
Good luck0 -
How is he not supportive? Do you mean that he doesn't want you to lose weight or is it that he's just not being helpful in the process...like my husband who often brings home ice cream and donuts! Do it for you though, don't worry about him. You have MFP for support!0
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This is a recurrong theme on MFP ... personally I'd say just go ahead and do what you need to do to reach your goals and look for support from those who will give it to you. People, whether it's friends or family, who try to undermine your achievements or objectives are doing so for reasons that have nothing to do with you.0
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Don't let others slow you down! If he won't support, then just continue on towards your goals quietly! He will be stunned when you achieve them!0
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Does he say why he has a problem with it? That is a HUGE acheivement and he should be ashamed of himself that he isn't supportive. Is he jealous? Is he afraid you will think you are to good for him if you continue to lose weight?0
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Ignore him - weight loss is for YOU!
Agreed
I agree, too
LOL
By the way, I was ignored by my spouse at first, too.... then he started watching my body change, and how the guys are now staring at me at the grocery....
....now, he's on a diet as well LOL!!!!0 -
show him your pimp hand?
find a 14lb bowling ball and drop it on the couch next to him and tell him that is what you worked your *kitten* off to lose.
What Sean said.0 -
mine isnt supportive either and actualy mocks the amount ive lost like its nothing and that i should have lost much more . its very frustrating0
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im not sure why it matters if others support u or not. now if he's, say, demanding that you dont work out and telling u ur not allowed to eat healthy or something, thats one thing, but if he isnt jumping up and down congradulating u, i dont see the problem. he'll notice when you done..when u first start to lose people dont ntice as quick but once u get closer to ur goal people are more supportive cuz they can actually see the change. u may notice changes, but that doesnt mean that someone else is going to beable to tell that youve lost a couple inches. wear something sexy im sure youll get his attention lol0
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Sometimes people in our lives aren't exactly sure how to show support. They don't want to push us because they feel like it might be like saying that there is something wrong with the way that we look. Have an open dialogue with your spouse about it if you have not already done so. Either way 14 pounds is certainly an accomplishment. Be prepared to be your own motivator. The wonderful people of MFP will also be there to give you a lift when you need it.0
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If I've learned something along this journey, is that I can totally control what I do and don't do, but I can't change the people around me.
Don't depend on anybody!
My husband is supportive sometimes but other not so much. Like when I first started I wanted to hit the gym everyday, and I wanted him to help me with the kids, and he agreed to do it, but then he would just do it 1 or 2 days and with a bad attitude towards me afterwards.
So I decided to work my way around the whole situation: Cancelled my gym membership, I exercise with videos at home, wake up extra early so the babies don't interrupt me and stuff like that.
Sometimes my family wants real pizza and burguers and they have them and I eat my 2 bags of vegetables and my tuna pouch and tough it up. Cause the world won't change because I'm on a diet lol
That's how it worked out for me I am my own cheerleader, and it sure helps to have MFP friends ! 0 -
How is he not supportive? Do you mean that he doesn't want you to lose weight or is it that he's just not being helpful in the process...like my husband who often brings home ice cream and donuts! Do it for you though, don't worry about him. You have MFP for support!
[/quote
He does alot of the cooking then complains when I eat very little of the high calore foods he makes. Or want to eat all u can eat pasta at Olive Garden. I understand he does not want to diet and I have stoped pushing the issue and am tring to lead by example, but its hard to resist the temptations he is presenting. I even pickup his fast food on the way home from work without complaint, and then make my meal or salad.0 -
show him your pimp hand?
find a 14lb bowling ball and drop it on the couch next to him and tell him that is what you worked your *kitten* off to lose.
That is too funny! I like the way you think!0 -
Ignore him - weight loss is for YOU!
Agreed
yep.... a big 'whatever'.0 -
As others have said, you need to do this for yourself. If you are looking to him for validation for your success and he's not giving it, then you're setting yourself up to failure. He's attempting to control you by withholding approval--not a healthy trait for a relationship. My husband isn't non-supportive, but he isn't destructive towards my progress, other than liking to eat out more than I do (that's not new--he's always liked it more) and sometimes buying things I have a harder time ignoring than others (example: chips). But ultimately, he's not forcing those foods down my throat and he doesn't make an issue out of me measuring/weighing my food when we eat at home, so it's still completely my choice what I eat.He does alot of the cooking then complains when I eat very little of the high calore foods he makes. Or want to eat all u can eat pasta at Olive Garden. I understand he does not want to diet and I have stoped pushing the issue and am tring to lead by example, but its hard to resist the temptations he is presenting. I even pickup his fast food on the way home from work without complaint, and then make my meal or salad.
If your husband's insistent about going out to eat, go, order your own food, drink water instead of wine or mixed drinks, allot yourself one piece of bread, order intelligently, set aside half of your meal (or 3/4 of the pasta portion) and don't eat it, etc. You control your own choices. What if you set a dining out food budget eat week and made this into an effort to spend less money--maybe that would get him engaged for a differnt reason.
And the fast food thing--why can't he get his own junk food? Do you call and ask him if you can pick something up for him, or does he ask you to do it?
But regardless--14 pounds in a month is great! I have a hard timing losing a pound a week and it's usually less, so 14 pounds in a month would make me ecstatic whether my husband noticed it or not! Keep up the good work.0 -
No support from hubby is tough, sabotage is worse....mine brought home a dozen of my favorite donuts last sunday to "Celebrate" my weight loss and then kept saying "Why won't you eat them?" UGH! I had one and was so very sorry I did
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Great tips and a new out look just what I needed. I am proud of myself and no matter what going to continue my weight loss! Lets see how hard we can push ourself this month.0
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he prolly thinks your gonna get skinny and leave him ...thats a big thing inalot of husbands loljust reassure him that you arent going anywhere..dress up in something sexy and let him know your body is for only you and him
good luck
xoxoxo0 -
about the olive garden...hubby brought me home some taco bell last night..a chicken burrito and a beefy 5 layer..which the 5 layer is my weakness...i threw it in the trash LOLLL and if i go out ill throw half my plate away or ask them for a childs plate..
i cant control myself when i have leftovers its like something pushes me towards them..so i get rid before i even do it
xoxo0 -
Good Job on weight loss! Keep it up! Don't let your husband discourage you! Your getting healthy so u can feel better about yourself and live longer! Hopefully,he will start being supportive sooner or later! Good Luck!0
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show him your pimp hand?
find a 14lb bowling ball and drop it on the couch next to him and tell him that is what you worked your *kitten* off to lose.
****en love that ****!!! :P0 -
I have the same problem with my wife. It doesn't phase her and she even tries to get me to eat foods she knows I shouldn't eat. She's evil... Anyways, the best thing you can do is ignore and turn to friends for support.0
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Ignore him - weight loss is for YOU!
Before you ignore him, why not find out why he's not supportive? Maybe he is feeling neglected, possibly would like to be included, or just plain would like to be a part of your accomplishments. Isn't that what marriage is all about?
Does you husband need to lose weight too ? If so maybe he feels jealous at what you are achieving, or as was said maybe he feels left out and wants to join your journey. Then there are those who are just plain negative, family and friends can be like that.
No matter what the weight loss is for you and your good health also so you feel good about yourself, if all else fails just ignore negative attitudes of those who don't support you and do it for yourself.
Remember too that we are here for you and are your support team0 -
Great job at changing your attitude toward his lack of support! You're doing this for YOU not him, and your approval and commitment is what matters most/Great tips and a new out look just what I needed. I am proud of myself and no matter what going to continue my weight loss! Lets see how hard we can push ourself this month.0
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