Spouse is a junk food junkie?

paticksmama07

What has made my battle to lose the weight even that much harder is not having the support from my spouse. My husband and I have been married for five years. When we got married I knew that he didn't have the healthiest eating habits and I did but I fell in love with him anyway. Five years and two kids later I have 28lbs to lose on my 5'2" frame. Every attempt I have made at weight loss for the last two and half years have failed. I have tried to talk to him about how I feel and how depressing it makes me to carry all of this weight. He still isn't supportive at all. He will come to bed late at night with pizza, hamburgers midnight snacks and I sit and stare until I cave in.

Today is different as I have gotten so big that I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror any longer so indulging in pizza, chocolate and cookies isn't a welcome reward. As I have mentioned in previous posts I have come within 10lbs of goal and then lose my resolve. I do not know what else to tell him so that he gets it. It also makes me feel very lonely on this journey because I have no one to support me to push me on. He doesn't care that he is a big man and I don't mind either but I am not happy at this weight and I need and want his support. Any advice?

Thanks,

Tina

KELott1

My husband is the same way. My husband is more into snacking which is my problem, so he's unhelpful in that aspect. I've been buying snacks that he likes that I do not. Like I will eat regular Doritos but not the Cool Ranch so I buy him the Cool Ranch......or I make him take the snacks/food to work for lunch/snack whatever. Out of sight out of mind. I hope the suggestions help a little.

Faeriegirl74

I completely understand where you are coming from. My spouse has that same habit.. here's what you do... cook healthy for you and the family. If he eats it, he does... if he doesn't - that's fine too. Eventually of doing this over and over... he will get the hint... then it's up to you to stay out of his "bad stash of foods" and purchase your own healthy snacks. After about 2 weeks of me doing this in my house... my "junk food junkie hubby" has now started his own change - albeit, slowly. He is now using Splenda in his tea - and the other night I heard him on the treadmill and playing Wii Fit. Today, it was "buy me the reduced fat kettle chips."
...it takes them longer to see our point of view.

Bottom line, make the changes for you... he will come around...or he will continue the "junk food madness"...either way, you are on your way to fitness!

emmaleigh47

Oh honey I feel for you ... and I cannot believe I am going to type this but ... they change.
I have been on this journey alone for a very long time ... when I really started getting serious and losing weight, hubby did nothing different. He continued to buy his junk food and eat it in front of me. But I replaced his junk food for me with slightly more healthy choices and soon my change was evident.

I also agree with the above poster, buy junk food for him that you do not like. I still remember when my husband went out and bought full strength pancake syrup because he was sick of the SF stuff that I bought ... and he had to admit he liked the SF better (and even he didnt think the regular was worth 240 calories per serving).

Hubby has slowly lost weight too ... and he is pleased with his weight loss. He has been buying less junk food and today he just said "we need to start eating better, lets plan to cook more together" He even offered to grocery shop ... yes change is possible!

prestonmay

wow. My wife and I have this struggle. It is a well balanced struggle. She wanted a Drink last night (1200 calorie Margarita at Chillies ) we sipped on a glass of wine (100 cals). We have came to a compromise. You have got to make yourself happy first. You are no 1. I DO not mean in a selfish irrational way, but in a selfishness rational way. If the lady is not happy in my home, no one is happy. Buy healthy Junk Food.... I know that sounds crazy. But instead of me eating a snickers bar loaded with sugar--- I use protein bars. the custom food profile ----on here. Throw that out of the window. Change to Custom --- 40 carbs -- 40 protein - 20 fat is what I do too lean up and drop fat. Try Body for Life to make a life change. http://bodyforlife.com/what-is-bfl This changed my life. Also LL Cooj J Platinum Book has a great section for women. http://compare.ebay.com/like/360393831880?var=lv&ltyp=AllFixedPriceItemTypes&var=sbar

Basically My wife and I lift Weights M - w - f cardio t th sat - Sunday is rest day. We have 3 cheat meals. If we going to be healthy together or cheat together we doing it as a unit. My wife is 5 foot 7 was 110 when I meet.... Skinny... After 2 kids 189 while pregnant .... 144 avg weight . She got down to 122 and my eyes opened up when I saw how she had a new lease on life. So it rubbed off and I started. I went from 235 to 190 -- Now I am 206 with half the fat. So take my advice--- Do you and he will follow. Commx is key here. It would be great if a man could feel your every need and want. We don't--We speak two different languages of love. --- Sometimes you just have to tell us... if married you owe that to each other. Try this also.... Love Dare.... It really works. Please read this chapter. http://thelovedarebook.com/love-dare-sample-chapter.pdf . I have a lot I can share with you........ I hope all things work out...... But be true to yourself . YOu have started the battle--- Nutrition is the key and the starting block. Depending on your goal Weights and Cardio will have to be combined also . HIT Cardio 20 min a day two times a week and weights..... But Talk to your husband and make him listen... ALL GUYS WILL NOT BE OPEN AND MOST WILL HAVE HIDDEN AGENDAS -- AND YOU NEED A MALE PROSPECTIVE.

Hoppymom

Maybe he is afraid that you will leave him if you get slim. He is clearly not interested in losing and may feel insecure. My sister lost a lot of weight after baby number four and tried on her teen-age daughter's new jeans. She was so excited that these junior sized pants fit that she showed them off in the living room. Her husband made a rude comment to her that showed her that he was really threatened by her success. She was shocked as she had no idea how he felt about the changes in her appearance and confidence level. I could be anything. May even be depression or apathy.

I hope you don't let him get you down and stay on track with the help of friends here. :flowerforyou:

moniquelessard

2 words. Separate shelves. (in the fridge and in the pantry)

He can use his as he pleases, stock yours with healthy snacks that you can quickly grab & are also low cal. Some examples for the fridge;

Laughing cow cheese light (45 cal for 2)
Yogurt - single servings, low cal, variety of flavors
A big tupperware with chopped up celery, baby carrots & bell peppers
A variety of fruit
A variety of low cal deli meat (lean ham is pretty low cal)
Tortillas (weight watchers whole wheat)
Hard boiled eggs
Tuna salad in a tupperware (tuna, fat free mayo, pickles, celery - all mixed up)
3 chicken breasts, baked (with low cal BBQ sauce), chopped up and placed in a tupperware
salad or spinach pre-cleaned and ready to use.

On your shelf in the pantry;
low cal crackers
rice cakes (cheddar, caramel, even cho chip)
fruit twists
low cal granola bars
special k fruit krisps
single serve packs of pretzels or chips (100 cal packs)
100 cal bags of popcorn
any other 100 cal (or less) packs of ANYTHING

If he decides to snack, you survive the temptation by choosing any one of your healthy alternatives. You're on your own because YOU are responsible for YOUR eating. You can do it though! When there's a will, there's always a way.

Happy grocery shopping. xoxoxox

moniquelessard

oh and if you love cheese (as I do), buy the grated cheese in the bag (light). Its 80 cals for 1/4 cup. Easy to measure and then drizzle on anything, or add to a sandwich. A bit of work once or twice a week and you'll be all set. xo

nrvo

I buy him snacks that I don't like, and I don't let him bring junk into the house. My first week on here, he brought me a king sized snickers and a funnel cake. We sat down and talked about it. He recently quit dipping (chewing tobacco), so I tried to explain it in terms he could relate to. I asked him how he would feel if I was sitting around in front of him dipping, and he could watch but wasn't allowed to dip. This is what it's like for me when he brings that junk food around me - it's ruining my attempts to fight my food addiction. After that, he got onboard and stopped bringing junky food around.

moniquelessard

I buy him snacks that I don't like, and I don't let him bring junk into the house. My first week on here, he brought me a king sized snickers and a funnel cake. We sat down and talked about it. He recently quit dipping (chewing tobacco), so I tried to explain it in terms he could relate to. I asked him how he would feel if I was sitting around in front of him dipping, and he could watch but wasn't allowed to dip. This is what it's like for me when he brings that junk food around me - it's ruining my attempts to fight my food addiction. After that, he got onboard and stopped bringing junky food around.

Its so important to talk about it. Good approach. Some people aren't so understanding tho..unfortunately. Like my parents. They cook fatty meat and white rice and then bring out carrot cake after.... its up to me to cut the fat off my meat, replace the rice with a salad and just say no to the cake. lol

melanie_J

Oh honey I feel your pain!! My husband is the same. Every diet I've ever been on I've said he's ruined for me, but then I came to realize that I'm ruining it for myself. No matter what I do and change, he is still going to be sitting and eating a giant pizza or a giant chocolate bar in front of me. He's skinny and happy so why should I try to change him?

I cannot change him. I have to change me. I have to know that I CAN do it and I WILL do it!

For the rest of my life I'm going to be face with choices and options. And no I won't always make the right decision, but in the end it's on me, nobody else.

That being said, I've been doing well, I've lost 15 lbs in about 2 months. And I have a lot more energy, but of course I still make mistakes and it's all a learning experience. I can hold out on pizza most of the time, but he offered to take me to Logan's SteakHouse the other day and I totally caved. The amount of calories in a fried chicken salad is ridiculous, but I had it and I enjoyed it and never regretted it. I just had to work harder!

My mom used to go to weight watchers and what they told you is that if you make a mistake, realize it, learn from it, and start again

Good luck to you and keep going girl! You've got this!

MIMITIME

Maybe he will come around to your way of thinking but if he brings snacks to bed, I would not count on it. I know how you feel to a degree. After some major health issues five years ago, I have done nothing but gain weight until I found this site September 1. Like you I had reached the point that I was so miserable that I could not stand to see myself in the mirror. I am not over run with support so I have managed to hang on for myself. I have done so mostly by some of the suggestions already made like being prepared with your own snacks so you can snack with him but not with his choice of food. Heck, who am I kidding, that late at night, I would probably tackle him for that hamburger and take it away from him for myself. Maybe that's what you should do and he may quit bringing food to bed.

prestonmay

The key is communication. If we are hearing about this before you have addressed it with him.... That is a problem itself. I am assuming we are the last to hear this and not the first. We all have went through this or will go through it--If married. With mature love comes allllllot of understanding and compromises. Never lose you though....................YOu are one in every sense of the word..............Talk to him...

I buy him snacks that I don't like, and I don't let him bring junk into the house. My first week on here, he brought me a king sized snickers and a funnel cake. We sat down and talked about it. He recently quit dipping (chewing tobacco), so I tried to explain it in terms he could relate to. I asked him how he would feel if I was sitting around in front of him dipping, and he could watch but wasn't allowed to dip. This is what it's like for me when he brings that junk food around me - it's ruining my attempts to fight my food addiction. After that, he got onboard and stopped bringing junky food around.

Its so important to talk about it. Good approach. Some people aren't so understanding tho..unfortunately. Like my parents. They cook fatty meat and white rice and then bring out carrot cake after.... its up to me to cut the fat off my meat, replace the rice with a salad and just say no to the cake. lol

calderst

Also maybe try teaching him without nagging him. I used to get frustrated bc my husband would bring home things he knew I love and I would end up eating it all. As I started to learn more about nutrition and share the things I'm learning with him, he's started looking for things he thinks might be healthy and bringing that home to me instead. Looking back, I realize he was trying to provide/nurture me, knowing how much I love the foods he was bringing. He didn't mind my extra 15 pounds even though I was miserable. Now, he's learned what to look for to help me be healthy and has even started reading labels! He doesn't typically go for it for himself yet but understanding why I'm eating the way I do or avoiding other things has really helped him be supportive.