Heart ..... Broken.....

Options
morgaj8
morgaj8 Posts: 34
in Motivation and Support
My once supportive husbad is now worried that I am looking else where. I seriously think my obsession with exercise & weight loss has caused this.
Is anyone else having this problem? It makes me so sad....

Replies

  • Redbella
    Redbella Posts: 58 Member
    Options
    yes, yes and yes. I wish I had something wise to say at this point but I don't. I have been w/ my husband for 23 yrs, ever since we were teenagers and he seems to think I am losing weight so I can get another guy. That is so not the reason behind this! I am sick of being heavy, sick of being the biggest person in the room, and sick of being unhealthy. Nothing more but nothing less either. I love my husband to death but I wish I knew how to get him to quit w/ the jealousy and just b supportive!
  • bmw4deb
    bmw4deb Posts: 1,325 Member
    Options
    Yes i am....... my husband was never ever the clingy jealous type
    now he questions if i stop at the dollar store on the way home :noway:
    it leads to some serious discontent and friction :cry:
    But I will not give up my new life style :frown:

    I know its hard huh ??
  • Andythefitfamilyman
    Andythefitfamilyman Posts: 420
    Options
    hey morg, my wifey sounds like your husband in alot of ways. She use to be is really surportive and then i started loseing and is afraid of me leaving her for someone else. She is doing better now is being supportive again, just keep talking with each other and try to understand each other feelings
  • bonjour24
    bonjour24 Posts: 1,119 Member
    Options
    not having this issue, but think you may need to spend some time with your hubby. insecurities aren't just for girls! have some nice time together and reassure him that you still want him (assuming that you do still want him and aren't looking elsewhere!). how would you feel if it was the other way around and you thought his eyes were wandering, and he is no longer on the same hotness level as you? what would you need to put your mind at rest?
  • morgaj8
    morgaj8 Posts: 34
    Options
    Thanks, I am glad I am not alone. I am really depressed because of it but I am not going to quit. I feel bad but I am not going to let this stop me. I deserve to be at a healthy weight & feel good about myself & put on clothes I feel comfortable in.
  • DoubleDworks
    DoubleDworks Posts: 12 Member
    Options
    You both need to keep the communication flowing with each other. As well as keep explaining you are doing this for you and in turn him and the kid/s. A healthier, happier mum / wife is a happier family.

    Your hubby sounds insecure too, which only he can work on.

    All the best and well done on the weight loss.
  • bstevens1021
    bstevens1021 Posts: 33
    Options
    Have you tried talking to him about "It's not you, it's me?" Remind him that this is *your* weight loss, for *you*, to make *you* look and feel better. It's not about him and what he's not doing or giving you so that you need to find someone else. It's about *you* being tired of what you see in the mirror or being scared of getting sick as you grow older due to excess weight, or whatever reasons you have for trying to lose weight. Point out all the ways that excess weight negatively impacts your life, and how you want that to change, and that "looking hot to get another guy" isn't even on the list.

    That said, there is a big difference between your brain knowing something and your heart believing it. He might know, logically, that you're driven to lose weight for yourself, but his heart might be refusing to let go of the idea that he's not good enough anymore. Maybe he's feeling guilty that he's not getting as healthy, or worried that he's looking less attractive, or maybe even lazy because he's not stepped up to the plate the way you have?
  • morgaj8
    morgaj8 Posts: 34
    Options
    not having this issue, but think you may need to spend some time with your hubby. insecurities aren't just for girls! have some nice time together and reassure him that you still want him (assuming that you do still want him and aren't looking elsewhere!). how would you feel if it was the other way around and you thought his eyes were wandering, and he is no longer on the same hotness level as you? what would you need to put your mind at rest?

    Thanks, I needed that too. I have never been emotional or touchy feely I guess. I dont need constant reassurance but he does I guess. It doesnt help that our schedules have changed so we never get to see each other.
  • morgaj8
    morgaj8 Posts: 34
    Options
    Thanks everyone!!!!! I really needed to hear I wasnt alone & some advise on what I could do to make things better. It helped sooooo much thank you all again!!!!!
  • garlic7girl
    garlic7girl Posts: 2,236 Member
    Options
    My once supportive husbad is now worried that I am looking else where. I seriously think my obsession with exercise & weight loss has caused this.
    Is anyone else having this problem? It makes me so sad....
    You ask him to join you???
  • luckypoisonivy
    luckypoisonivy Posts: 46
    Options
    My once supportive husbad is now worried that I am looking else where. I seriously think my obsession with exercise & weight loss has caused this.
    Is anyone else having this problem? It makes me so sad....

    My husband has admitted that he worries that I will leave him once I reach my goal weigh because, in his words, I'll want to "upgrade" but he hasnt acted any different towards, if anything it makes him seem to want me more.
  • luckypoisonivy
    luckypoisonivy Posts: 46
    Options
    it made a duplicate post, sorry.
  • rudegyal_b
    rudegyal_b Posts: 593 Member
    Options
    i would be annoyed at this, why can guys stare at hot girls but their gfs have to stay fat or they are straying? pfft

Categories