Feeling SO stressed & upset right now!!

MSDRIZZ

It was explained to me like this...

Trying to reconcile with an ex is like trying to put sour milk back in the refrigerator...it's not going to get any better.

Haha YES THIS IS TRUE.

MSDRIZZ

I couldn't even finish reading this. He's dirt! Tell your self that, he's not worth your time, he's playing with your head that's it. Let it go and move on, you deserve better. Teach your daughter how to be properly treated, and drop this guy for good!

If somebody treated your daughter this way in the future, how would you react?

curvygirl512

Trying to reconcile with an ex is like trying to put sour milk back in the refrigerator...it's not going to get any better.

Love this quote.

Seriously, this is a crossroads in your life. While you are seeing this a a major life stressor, consider moving to the next state and changing your phone number. If the inconvenience and $$$ for the move and new number get to you, think of the peace of mind you will gain from it. And it definitely sounds like you need some peace of mind. In other words, get rid of the sour milk.

Good luck. I will say an extra prayer for you.

dovesgate

It's cliche but:

He's just not that into you.

If he were, he'd make the effort. You're only an hour away. If he cared, he'd be with you.

If the actions don't match the words, don't believe the words.

krystico

Somewhere in there you mentioned a daughter. Put you and her FIRST. Stay away from the ex. He's an "ex" for a reason... Good luck!

Metamorphasis555

Thanks again for your input & support everyone! You all brought up some really good points & gave me alot to think about.

Izable2011

He's not worth your time. Your better than that!

pinkgigi

If you are getting so stressed about it, you know what the answer is - cold turkey - only way to go.

He is a manipulator and you are making it too easy for him to manipulate you. Having said that, I think a lot of the people here (including me) have agonised over a boy, and if it is agony you know it is not going to get better.

Hugs that you will make the right choice and chop that poison out of your life, to let another, better, opportunity come in.

GG

Metamorphasis555

Just got done having a good, long cry. Just feeling so stressed about this move & like I'm being torn in a million different directions as far as what area to move to. I had mentioned before that the three options I'm considering are:
1) Move to another apartment that's in the same city we're currently living in.
2) Move to a different city that's about 30 minutes from where we're currently located.
3) Move an hour away to the same city that my ex boyfriend lives in as I honestly grew to like his city alot & feels like it has alot to offer.

I've been leaning pretty heavily though towards either option 1 or 3 (that I just listed above). However, my father is going to be buying a house in my ex's city soon & so he's trying to talk me into having DD & I move to that city as he thinks it would be great to all live right in that same area so we can visit each other alot more often. It would definitely be great to be right near my dad as I've always been really close to him. However, if I move to ex's city I will then be a 2 hour drive from my mom (currently 45 minutes away from her). She & I are also close & when I told her I was thinking about maybe moving to ____(ex's city), she didn't seem to thrilled about that. I'm sure she understandably thinks it would suck to have us move that far from her. She originally suggested that DD & I move to her city but I've told her I'm not interested in that right now (the particular area she lives in is nice/great to visit but for various reasons not really somewhere I'd want to live). Since she knows I don't want to move to her city, she's trying to convince me to either stay in my current city or only move to the city I mentioned above that's only 30 minutes away from where we currently are.

So, if I move to my ex's city, I would get to see my father alot more often & he'd be thrilled about that but then like I said I'd be alot further away from my mom & she'd be upset about that. That area really does have alot to offer as far as culturally, job wise, etc though.

This past weekend, I looked at apartments in city 1 & 2 (listed above). So far, I've found one place in both city 1 & city 2 that I really like. Haven't had a chance yet to go look at places in city 3 (& still not sure if I'm gonna bother with that) but my father has offered to go look at places with me in city 3(since again he's really hoping I'll move there because he's going to be moving to that city soon).

So, on top of their input & sort of feeling like I'm being tugged in two different directions, my ex keeps texting me saying stuff like "I really want you up here" & "would you want to move up here if we were dating again"? He's texting me this stuff even though as far as I know he's still "seeing" that other girl. It's almost like he's thinking about maybe breaking things off with her but he doesn't want to unless & until he gets reassurance from me that I'm interested in being his girlfriend again & also that I'd be willing to move to his city so that dating me would be convenient for him (which of course p*sses me off).

Oh, & then on top of that did I mention that when my DD told my ex husband that we were looking at apartments in the city 30 minutes away from us yesterday, he sent me a text right after that basically angry & whining about how that's going to be too hard on him?! So, if he is going to be flipping out about us moving just 30 minutes away, he's definitely going to flip his lid if we move an hour away. However, according to our divorce agreement I really can move anywhere I want (even out of state) because there's absolutely no stipulation in there about how I have to stay in the same city/immediate area as him. All the same, having to deal with him freaking out about DD moving out of our current city really isn't helping my stress levels right now.

Sorry for the long vent. lol

i_love_vinegar

I feel so sorry for you...I read your entire post, hoping there would be something good to say, but the guy is a real *kitten*...

I mean, really. You sound so sweet, cool, and like you deserve hella a lot better than someone like him.

I totally agree with your thoughts, I would have thought the same thing...like when you mentioned you hoped he would say, "I want to be with you so much, I dumped her. I'm sorry I put you through this (with an explanation)."

I think you should move where you WANT to move, pretending this guy isn't around anymore. I think the most important thing is not location, but realizing that you deserve better. I think once you stop thinking about this guy, you will meet guys who are nicer to you...who actually would move for YOU and would never think to do this stuff to you.

Good luck!!! Your ex...wow...he sounds like such an angry, crazed, mean douche >_<

corieueber

stop listening to everyone else, take some time out and listen to what you want and what's best for you and your daughter (work, family, school etc)

delete the ex from your life completely

Metamorphasis555

Thank you very much for your input vinegar and corie.

Tangerine302

Maybe it would help to put all of it on paper. The pros and cons of each situation. Sometimes it clears your head a little.

Metamorphasis555

Great idea. Thanks Tangerine.

jeffsgal105

I liked your book.

*snort*

ahinescapron

Love yourself enough to not let this douche have any more of your energy. When making this decision, just pretend he does not exist. The fact is, if he loved you an hour away would be no big deal. I know it is stressful having to find a new place to live, but maybe this is just the new start you need to say goodbye to this guy for good and move on! You know (deep down) that this guy is just using you and jerking you around. What if your daughter were going through this? What would you tell her? Love yourself as much as you love her! You are worth it!

Metamorphasis555

Thanks again for your input, support and tough love everyone. As usual, you've all given me alot to think about. He called me earlier tonight & when I didn't pick up he left me this message (well shorter summary of his message since his message was fairly long but this was pretty much word for word exactly what he said). Notice that he's still not respecting that I clearly told him before do not contact me unless & until you're 100% single again & he obviously is NOT single or he would have of course told me that. PS) When I told him that, that was a few days before I sent him a text basically saying you had your chance with me & you blew it, you are & I are permanently done:

"Hi. I wanted to have a conversation with you to see if you're really interested in going back out, if you want to move up here, want to tell you what my situation is & what's going on with me. So, I'd like to have this conversation with you as soon as possible since I know you do have to move & see what you're interested in. Hopefully you'll call me back & talk to me instead of getting all upset but it's a serious thing for me & I just want to see how you feel about things. Okay. Talk to you later. Hope everything is well. Miss you. Bye".