Frustrated!!!

JOJOTRAINER

I am so frustrated and need some advice on motivating my self to get to the gym and also not cheat on my diet. Years ago I was a competitive bodybuilder and trained 4 hours per day and maintained a very clean diet. Now, I don't compete any longer and I am married and have two small children. My career is in healthcare and I work crazy hours.

I am finding that I get going for about 2 weeks really good and something happens with either with work or family and I miss a few days of workouts. That usually snowballs into several days or weeks because I am too tired to make it to the gym. At that point, I feel like I have to keep starting over which just deflates my enthusiasm.

Thanks in advance for your advice

trelm249

Figure out why you want to change. That is your motivation. You have the knowledge of what to do and how to do it.

Get in the head game and asks the hard questions. What will drive the change? Is it something about you? Does it have to do with your responsibilites to your family and being there for them? Is it something else? There has to be something to drive you to stay focused.

Be hungry for the goal, not the food. Build for something better, don't settle.

shawn46106

Don't know the whole situation, but maybe get a Wii and do some work outs at your place. If you already have a Wii check out NFL Training Camp. I'm doing cardio work outs for an hour and burning 650 - 720 calories per session. Hope this helps.

Eatone1

I have struggled with that same problem for years. I'll stick to a diet or exercise routine for 3 days, a week, sometimes even 3 weeks....and then something happens....a birthday, a holiday, a potluck at church, some fundraiser lunch at work....and it's all over. I've been on MFP now for 3 weeks....what is keeping me here this time is I have made a point to be CONNECTED to others. I visit the boards every day. I look for people my height who have been successful with their weight loss. I also joined a challenge (that has been VERY motivating). I try and respond to at least 3 status updates a day. I make a point to notice and encourage other people with the hope that they will do that in return. Some days...a *victory* for me is simply to be honest with what I ate and record EVERY bite regardless of how many calories I went over. Try not to think of this as "all or nothing" but rather a slow change that will be a great example for your kids. Good luck in your journey! Now go get connected!!

PS. Since I am VERY non-athletic, I found a program called Couch Potato 2 5 K.....this is also keeping me going because I have felt successful with my progress.

stef_3

When you workout, how long is it for? I found that when I tried to do long workouts I had that same problem. I also work long days, usually around 12 hours, but I work from home so that helps. I currently do the 30DS cuz they're only about 25 mins long and I can get it done while my two young kids nap. If I have the time and energy I will take the boys for a 5k jog in the double jogging stroller. As far as food I'm usually short on time for lunch since I eat lunch when my kids nap too so I do the frozen meal if needed, otherwise I make a quick sandwich. It's really hard to find a balance with young kids, but it's doable. It took me a while but I'm glad I stuck with it and found a routine that works for me. Good luck

tigersword

Excuses are my motivation. I made a mental rule with myself, as soon as any excuse pops into my head for not going to the gym, regardless of how legitimate it might sound, I immediately get dressed and go for a workout (well, not if I'm at work, but as soon as I get out.) Once I get there and start going, it blows my mind that I was thinking of some reason to avoid it. It's pretty much kept my motivation up, as it's very easy to convince yourself to not do it (let's be honest, long work day, kids, sprawling on the couch and relaxing sure sounds good compared to working hard at the gym) but once I'm there, my motivation kicks back in.

I used to tell myself that I was too tired to go to the gym, but the adrenaline and endorphins that kick in once I get going energize me, and I usually leave the gym feeling less tired than I arrived. That also motivates me a lot.

stroken96

I understand being frustrated, I'm there it seems like most of the time. I don't call it a cheat day I call it MY DAY.
I'm 52 and have blamed it on my age you name it I can find something to blame my NO weight loss on something or someone,
But get right down to it!!! Only YOU can change and help yourself.
I start my mornings reading post on MFP
I set a time to do mini workouts through out the day.
Hope this helps.
You can friend me.

Shawnda1730

This is very difficult, I know because I completely understand, I start and fall of the band wagon and start again, I always feel like I am at the starting point of the race, never in the middle and it has been years since I made it to the end! All I can say is keep pushing it will click one day and nothing will keep you from taking care of you, when job and family come up you will adapt your work out around it, it will happen just takes time.
For me it is like a switch in my head that once it is on it is on but I must say over the last few years I can't get it to switch on! Just know you are not alone and keep push and pushing, one day I will read that you're on a mission and nothing can stop you! By the way your profile pic is awesome, that takes some real dedication and hard work....you will get it back.

boardedney

So, I hear a couple of things going on here. First, let me say that I am not a professional, but my life experience includes single motherhood, having worked long hours, a lifetime of bad eating habits & laziness....to more recently, being a personal trainer, triathlete, independant massage therapist and still single mother. I have also been a weightloss counselor before.

So what I'm hearing is maybe some tendancy toward obsessive type behaviors. It has been my experience that anyone who has the dedication it takes to to eat so clean and work out so diligently to actually compete in body building competitions, has obsessive qualities to their personality. Of course I'm just guessing here...but those of us who have been obsessive about one thing or another in the past, will use those qualities in work and around the house with kids and then become exhausted and burned out by the time it's time to start thinking about going to the gym. Also, we can tend to get a little obsessive about food as well. God knows I am...weather I'm obsessing on eating right and logging my every morsel or I'm going ape **** on a buffet.

I think if we can be aware of this, and make changes to balance some things out, then tackling the idea of making getting to the gym a habit and being a little pragmatic about food, becomes a little easier. Without sitting down with you to find out details about your daily life, I can't make specific recomendations. But as an example from my personal life, I have made going to the gym as a specific time each a #1 or sometimes #2 priority. I allow almost NOTHING to get in the way of that time. It's for me, my health and my sanity. I schedule everything else around my gym time. If we're gonna be obsessive, let's be obsessive about our gym time! If you work a regular job, you'll have to choose a time which fits. But if something interrupts that, make sure it is SUPER important and that just for the sake of keeping the habit going, you get right in there the next day....even if you are tired or what ever. The first step is GOING to the gym. You don't even have to know what your gonna do when you get there. I go when I'm not even feeling up to snuff, just keep the habit going. I might piddle around....do a few machines...bull**** on an eliptical, but I kept the habit going. I think that's vital. I have a friend who works a lot and has one child, pregnant with her second, nearly at term...she shows up on her scheduled days to keep the habit. She goes into the pool and half *kitten* a workout....just to keep the habit.

As for food....shoot, that's a whole other monster and to me, the harder one to manage. It's also the most oimportant as I'm sure yhou know, having been a trainer. The only thing I can say, is that if we could only obsess about one thing, let it be logging and planning our food each day. It IS however super important to take a day off here and there. It gets exhausting and boring to eat like this each day. Take a day off and have a good time with food....maybe once a week or ever couple weeks. SOmetimes we get so dialed in that we become exhausted after 2 weeks and blow it. Once we "blow it", we figure, why bother? But here's the deal. I look at my caloric intake in terms of the 5 week trending.,,,then I break down to a weekly goal. I want each day to say I will be X amount of pounds in 5 weeks. So I try to make an average out of that week. For instance...I'm down to 130. I want to be 122 in 5 weeks from now. So, this week I'd LIKE each day to say tha tI will be 122 in 5 weeks. But today, maybe I mess up and over indulge. Maybe I break down and have a doughnut at breakfast.....well, I have all day to recover from that. Maybe I'm left with 900 calories. I will plan lots of veggies and lean meat the rest of the day. Ok, let's say, I lose it at lunch tot and let's say I end up 300 over on calries for the day and the trending says I will be 128 pounds in 5 weeks. Guess what? I didn't "blow it"...I just need to bring the average down. So, tomorrow, when I'm stronger or maybe more motivated cuz I didn't like that 128 number, instead of looking for 122 on the trending as originally planned, I amend my daily goal to help reach my average for the week. So now I'm looking for 119 on the trending. This way, I feel like I have lots of chances to fix it, I can feel human by eating some of the things I like or if I have a moment of emotional stress eating, I have time to recover and can always feel motivated because I'm not looking at things so starkly each day. I can look to the rest of the week and shoot for an average. It isn't one day of eating right that makes us skinny and it's not one day of eating bad that makes us fat. It's an everage, over time. So treat managing your calories the same way! ;-) I hope my manifesto here has been of some use to you. Take what you want from it and toss the rest. But I wish lucj and strength. I have done this several times over. I'm 5'3" and my heaviest was 170. I know it can be done and so do you. Just don't kick yourself when you're down. Celebrate each mini goal you set, even if it's as small as getting ot the gym today. Give yourself positive reinforcement, not negative self talk. And when ever you fall off, get right back on and forget about the falling off part...it won't matter in the bigger picture as long as you keep getting back up ;-)

JOJOTRAINER

When you workout, how long is it for? I found that when I tried to do long workouts I had that same problem. I also work long days, usually around 12 hours, but I work from home so that helps. I currently do the 30DS cuz they're only about 25 mins long and I can get it done while my two young kids nap. If I have the time and energy I will take the boys for a 5k jog in the double jogging stroller. As far as food I'm usually short on time for lunch since I eat lunch when my kids nap too so I do the frozen meal if needed, otherwise I make a quick sandwich. It's really hard to find a balance with young kids, but it's doable. It took me a while but I'm glad I stuck with it and found a routine that works for me. Good luck

I practice the Tabata Sequence training method of 20 seconds intensity and 10 seconds rest for 8 or 9 sets. All my workouts are short and sweet. My challenge is getting to the gym but once I am there I am good to go.

stef_3

I hope you can find a balance and get to the gym. I had the same problem getting or not getting to the gym. I finally told my husband to just cancel our membership cuz we never went so it was a waste of money. We have a full basement so we made a little workout room downstairs which has worked great for both of us. We have a treadmill, elliptical, weight bench and puching bag that we got for cheap off craigslist, etc. It takes out the time of driving to and from the gym and like I said before I can do my workout while my kids nap and I'm on my lunch break. I do miss the classes that the gym offers though, that's the only downfall.