Donating your eggs?

ket_the_jet

Apparently I double posted. Then made the faux pas of deleting the first one.
-wtk

ket_the_jet

Additionally, in the spirit of your prior pedantry, the word "conceit" implies excessive pride.

Actually, in context, 'conceit' is more accurately defined as 'fanciful expression in writing or speech.' This one also comes from Latin, through French, and coincidentally comes from the same stem as "conceive." Who would've thought that in a conversation regarding egg donation we whimsically bat at each others nomenclature interpretations?

To address your final point, I have no vendetta against egg donation. In fact, I very specifically stated that I would love to see you pursue the egg donation for science's sake.
-wtk

sleepytexan

I definitely do believe that you should pursue the egg donation if the opportunity becomes available to you; however, I think that the more noble gesture if it is donated towards research. It's just common sense. Sure, someone could become parents, or a brother, or grandparent, or whatever. But the footprint of those affected by researching stem cells or embryonic structure is phenomenal.

Noble is in the eye of the beholder. It is an interesting perception to me. Since I am a parent both by birth (x3) and international adoption (x1), I have received many varying opinions regarding adoption, many of which I consider to be overly complimentary , while others seem outrageously harsh to me. Interestingly, no one has ever directly expressed an opinion as to my decision to give birth 3 times.

I have had many people tell me how noble I am to have adopted an orphan when I already had children "of my own". I have had others say international adoption is IMMORAL and it is all about rich Americans abducting the children of poor people instead of funding family support systems to help the children stay with their "real" parents. There is actually a large group of adult international adoptees who have formed a group and call themselves "Transracial Abductees".

Everybody's got an opinion. Some people say Americans want "designer" kids from abroad. Hmmmm. My "designer" kid came from a poor orphanage with a severe, unrepaired, bilateral cleft palate and lip. Some people say that if you want a kid you should adopt "a deserving foster child from right here at home". Hmmmm. The fact is, the majority of foster children are actually NOT available for adoption.

Everybody knows there are children who need homes, but still there are governments that won't permit international adoption even as children languish in poorly funded orphanages, while other people procreate every day. Certain cultures don't ever consider adopting. Some people fear raising a child who has already "gone through trauma" (they prefer to provide all the child's trauma themselves, ha!). Some people have a strong desire to create a child who looks like them. Some people want a child who is at least partially biologically theirs so they elect to go with egg or sperm donation or surrogacy. Dilemma. Which of these people is most morally sound? I wouldn't venture to judge because surely I would be wrong.

Again, noble is in the eye of the beholder. The couple that wants an egg -- wants an egg. Why is it more noble to donate an egg to research rather than to a couple who wants that egg? Who says that research is more worthy than that couple? Not the couple.

Finally, regarding compensation for egg AND sperm donation: compensation exists because there is a demand for donation and as a legal settlement. Just as in some places compensation exists for blood donation. The organization offering the compensation does not allow a donor to decline the compensation lest the legal settlement be nullified.

Compensation exists whether or not any given person chooses to donate. Accepting compensation for donation is not a reflection on the character of the donor.

EDIT:

No one chooses to have kids so that everybody else can tell them how great they are, or what pompous jerks they are. They also don't decide to have kids because they think it would be so great for the kids to have them as parents. People have kids because THEY WANT KIDS. The same goes for people who help others have kids -- via egg or sperm donation, surrogacy, even unknowingly by a one-night stand.

When any part of you creates or raises a kid, be it your loins or your heart, or the combination, you are a parent, forever. As to motivation, level of skill or participation, it varies by individual.

juliecat1

i was pretty brief in my first response but let me expand a little as I have ties to both sides of this. I am an adopted child and when someone mentioned before that there are very strong biological pull/tie -that is extremely true. I always wondered. always wanted the story. Always questioned where my eyes, smile, laugh, etc... came from. My views are vastly different than that of my adoptive family. I have since located my biological family and I can tell you there is WAY more to biology than many think. I have a full biological sister and we are like clones of each other. Now, being raised with these questions didnt harm me in any way. I was still loved and grew up to be a well rounded person. My biological mother.... though adoption was the right choice for her at the time.... never forgave herself. She can not even see me at this point in time. The guilt is too strong. As a mother, I get it. Im not sure I could separate from a child - or eggs even - and not have any feelings of regret or sadness. okay. So, the other half.... I have a fertility issue and had to undergo fertility treatments to get my second child. The whole nine - shots, pills, surgical procedures, daily visits to check egg progression, blood draws, etc.... It was HARD. My hormones were a wreck, my ovaries hurt like nothing Ive ever felt before in my life. I would encourage you to talk to someone who has undergone this before because its miserable. If you have a partner... they need to be on board with you too because believe me - you wont be all that pleasant to be around during some of it. I chose the fertility treatments because adoption was out of our reach financially. Im rambling....

I just encourage you to look at it from all angles possible. Put aside the money and the warm fuzzies and tear it down piece by piece. If you wanted to do something truly beneficial - find a way to raise awareness for adoption.

deewildwoman

I just want to say THANK YOU! My husband and I have tried for a number of years to conceive, and it just was not happening. Due to our age, adoption is now out, but donor eggs is a good possibility for us. On the first round of IVF with a donor egg we were successful, but miscarried at 8 weeks. We have one frozen embryo left and we will try again after the first of the year...and after I get some of the excess weight off.

Thanks for giving someone a chance at parenthood, that may have no other options.

morganhccstudent724

Has anyone actually donated?