Married Women

Options
2

Replies

  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    Options
    First omg you're hot! Second, yes let him know how you feel!
  • shannonkk
    shannonkk Posts: 192 Member
    Options
    I have four kids also and hated the way my body was after the last two and they are 16 months apart. It upset my husband when I didn't believe him when he would tell me I was beautiful. He also loved what having his babies did to my body. He made me feel comfortable in my skin and sexy. I have found that he doesn't care what size my body is, as long as he gets to see it, naked, in little workout clothes or wiggling on the treadmill. I am a talker and I always get right to it when something is bothering me. My husband is the more calmer quieter one and I am a bit more dramatic. Men keep a lot of things inside and do not realize how it looks on the outside, so talking to them usually works. Well, with mine anyways. You are very beautiful, I hope you can see it too.
  • cmconniew
    cmconniew Posts: 16 Member
    Options
    Super great advice here! I am married and have been for 14 years. And let me say there are times when we both get like that. I know that men sometimes have a harder time expressing themselves. And if something is going on with them at work or with friends they sometimes bottle it up and act weird. From experience I can say my husband is very odd about me losing weight. His own personal insecurities are starting to show, which sucks. I want him to be supportive not jealous. I think I need to take the advice being given here as well. The guys on here point blank say talk to him and I agree. Men are not good at guessing what is wrong or why we are upset, you just have to spell it out. I think once you do, you will feel better too. (perhaps I will too)

    And P.S. I'd LOVE to look like you cause you are gorgeous!! Hugs!
  • Luvmysixpack
    Luvmysixpack Posts: 43
    Options
    I have four kids also and hated the way my body was after the last two and they are 16 months apart. It upset my husband when I didn't believe him when he would tell me I was beautiful. He also loved what having his babies did to my body. He made me feel comfortable in my skin and sexy. I have found that he doesn't care what size my body is, as long as he gets to see it, naked, in little workout clothes or wiggling on the treadmill. I am a talker and I always get right to it when something is bothering me. My husband is the more calmer quieter one and I am a bit more dramatic. Men keep a lot of things inside and do not realize how it looks on the outside, so talking to them usually works. Well, with mine anyways. You are very beautiful, I hope you can see it too.

    Shannon I could have wrote your post exactly. My husband is the same way and we have six kids. I will talk till I drive him crazy.

    Spouses dont always know how to deal with weight loss in their partner. I have gone from a size 18 to a 4 and my husband never ONCE made a comment about my weight loss. Not once. He was actually quite defensive about it. He felt like I would leave for someone else now that I am getting my "Old" body back (we just went through a LOT of stress." I had to remind him that it was him that I wanted and I was not going anywhere. Now that he knows how I feel (like he should have questioned it) he is cheering me on and being my biggest cheerleader. Just talk to him or write him a letter.
  • reese1206
    reese1206 Posts: 229
    Options
    Thank you all so very much.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    Options
    Communication communication! Talk to him and find out why he is distant.
  • theberg
    theberg Posts: 80
    Options
    Jump him... no seriously. As a married man, father of two, working, and school I often get stressed out and need..... a *ahem* reminder. If you don't feel like going that route, no worries, but do have a talk with him and figure out what's going on. Chances are its not what you think.
  • LaurieEReid
    LaurieEReid Posts: 273
    Options
    tell him how you feel...i know as a guy, and a married guy, i would want to know...no games, no wondering...attack it and then you will at last have pc of mind.

    life is too short to play games with the ones you love...

    This. Especially the last part. My husband has worked really hard to 'train' me (:laugh: ) to talk to him when I'm upset about something. Good luck!
  • Kikilicious84
    Kikilicious84 Posts: 312
    Options
    Maybe look in a mirror..I mean really look in the mirror and see how beautiful you are. Imagine where you will be if you keep your motivation. Talk to your husband too. maybe something is going on and he doesn't mean to be distant? :flowerforyou:

    This. I know there are a few times where my hubby has become distant but it was mainly due to issues with work and just general things that he was going through. Try talking to him and maybe change up something in your routine to spark that motivation to hit the gym. Keep pushing! Don't let this set you back. Big hugs.
  • reese1206
    reese1206 Posts: 229
    Options
    I've tried to talk to him the last cpl weeks but he's not opening up. I know he will eventually but its making things hard.
  • mandypizzle
    mandypizzle Posts: 633 Member
    Options
    I think you should plan a special evening with him. Get a sitter and do something nice- in or out. And girl!! You are SO close to your goal! Let THAT be your motivation! Don't do what I did and gain it all back. It is SO frustrating and NOT worth it!
    I've tried to talk to him the last cpl weeks but he's not opening up. I know he will eventually but its making things hard.
  • ladybg81
    ladybg81 Posts: 1,553 Member
    Options
    I'm the one that gets distant. When that happens, I send him away for a weekend and then things are back to normal. He is one of those needy people who wants to be with me all the time. I am very independant and need my space. You have to have the chance to miss someone sometimes. Maybe that might help to just have some space for a few days. My husband was gone this past weekend for 3 days and I was so happy when he got back. I really missed him. Just a thought.
  • luvinlaurakate
    luvinlaurakate Posts: 145 Member
    Options
    Someone asked earlier about your husband being deployed? If he just got back his being distant could be attributed to that.
  • Dtrmnd86
    Dtrmnd86 Posts: 406 Member
    Options
    I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I have been in similar situations when my fiance's work gets super busy. He isn't a venting/talkative person so when this happens, he seems distant and almost like he's hiding things from me. I feel terrible and it hurts. I found that talking to him about it (not in an accusing way) has helped. I understand that he isn't talkative about work, but I explained how it makes me feel. We both agreed to work together to fix it. If I feel he is distant, I'll start up a conversation asking about work and how things are going in his life. Maybe he is just stressed out and by being distant he thinks he will shield you from some of it. Good luck, and remember a little communication goes a long way.
  • v_addison
    v_addison Posts: 114 Member
    Options
    I agree with everyone saying that you need communication, I have gone through this myself and the only thing that helped was talking it out. As well, I would suggest taking a good long look at your profile picture. Because I think you're gorgeous! Stick to it girl and if you want to friend me, I would love that!
  • bluegirl10
    bluegirl10 Posts: 695 Member
    Options
    I just wanted to stop by and say that you are absolutely beautiful :flowerforyou: I really mean it. You have amazing eyes and a really sincere smile :smile:

    I hope you can sit down and discuss this with your husband, maybe he is feeling sad or worried about something and isn't noticing that he is distant.

    This Exactly!... My husband and I learned when we first started dating that communication was going to be the key in good times and not so good times, so just be open and talk to him... Have a great day!
  • missikay1970
    missikay1970 Posts: 588 Member
    Options
    his being distant most likely has nothing to do with you. your feeling ugly/unattractive is a result of you thinking that he is distancing himself from you. it's a vicious cycle b/c once you feel bad about yourself, he can pick-up on it and that is unattractive in itself. i FORCE myself to do at least one positive thing for myself every day. usually it's working-out but sometimes it's treating myself to a pedicure or even just window-shopping in my favorite store. you must tell yourself how beautiful you are every.single.day and you will start to believe it! great things will start to happen, even if you never lose another pound, your attitude is 99% of your appeal. :smile:
  • albayin
    albayin Posts: 2,524 Member
    Options
    You're losing weight / getting into shape for you, not for your husband. Lose the weight, and when all those guys start lookin at you like daaaammmnnn (lol) your husband will be jealous...he won't be so distant then!!! :)
    I have to agree with this one. :)

    Best of luck!
  • reese1206
    reese1206 Posts: 229
    Options
    Things are getting a bit better. Thank you all!!!!!
  • Nurse_krissy
    Nurse_krissy Posts: 102 Member
    Options
    When I went from 185 lbs down to 130 over 5 yrs ago, my ex-husband (don't worry, we divorced for other reasons!) really struggled with dealing with my success and increased confidence. It may be that he's going through that as well. If that's the case, those are HIS issues, not yours. Just stay on track doing what you've been doing. Deep down, I'm sure you know that giving up your healthy life style in order to bring your relationship closer is a lose-lose situation and you'll end up resenting him.

Categories