Advice needed: Bariatric Surgery

aviduser

I have a friend who has struggled with his weight for all of the 23 years that I've known him. He has tried every diet out there, including Weight Watchers. He has recently lost 40 lbs, but needs to lose about 180 lbs. He has been considering surgery for a LONG time, and the topic has come up again.

From my own experience, I think that if he can lose 40 lbs, he can use MFP or something similar (I like MFP because I had success with it) and gradually lose the weight he needs to lose. I firmly believe that there are no shortcuts to losing weight. You just have to do it gradually (1-2 lbs/week) for as long as it takes to reach your goal. Further, even after bariatric surgery, you still have to change your eating habits (as far as I know). So why wait?

I suggested that he schedule the surgery for 60-90 days out and try to stick to a MFP plan until then. If he is making progress, then he can push the surgery date out another 60 days, and so on. If not, he has the surgery scheduled as a fall back.

HOWEVER, while I was definitely overweight (and according to the BMI, obese) I have never been as overweight as my friend. I know that many here have lost HUGE amounts of weight with MFP, so I was hoping for a little help from those who have lost over 100 lbs and/or who have had bariatric surgery.

What should I tell my friend? Do it or not? It seems like hard advice to tell him to try MFP when other diets have failed. Part of it is the attitude. It will not happen to you, it will only happen by you--if you make it happen. I am not sure he is there, in which case the surgery might not be a good idea either.

Thanks in advance.

KBGirts

I don't have much knowledge or experience with the surgery... but I would think that even if surgery is done, it is just, if not more important to be vigilant about one's habits. If a person has trouble sticking to any sort of plan, it may cause complications after surgery. I believe the surgery is meant to be a "tool", not a be-all-and-end-all solution. It certainly should not be a lazy means to a healthy weight. Not saying your friend is lazy, but I think they should assess their ability to commit to changes before deciding on it for sure.

Ashley_Panda

I've had it. I hate it and I advise everyone against it that I can. I've had mine for 6 years now and when I started on here I still weighed 292lbs. My starting weight with my LB was 335. So I kept off 47lbs with it. I did the rest of it on my own after a nurse at my bariatric surgeons office told me that: "This is what they do, don't you get it? You come in, get a fill, lose weight, then it gets too tight, you can't keep anything down, come back, get in unfilled, gain weight, come back, get it filled, all at 100 a pop." I said, screw it and finally just bucked up and did it myself.

You're going to have people that swear by it. Good for them. But for brutal honesty's sake, I throw up every day because of my lapband and it has NOTHING in it. My insurance won't cover to have it removed because I had it before I had the insurance. If I could afford to have it removed, I would have by now. I would have after not eating or drinking for 3 days, eating for one then going back to not eating or drinking for 3 more days.

So yeah. /End rant.

moushtie

I know there are people out there who say it worked for them, but I've always gone down the same thought process as you. I was quite a bad binge eater, I would get stuck in a really destructive loop of anxiety and food. I knew that if I didn't sort out my relationship with food, I could possibly do damage to myself post-surgery. And once I sorted out my relationship with food enough to lose weight, why do I need the surgery?

At the end of the day, I want to be healthy, and I don't think dealing with the after-effects of bariatric surgery all my life is "healthy".

rockylucas

If he has lost weight, and can continue to lose weight, then perhaps he is making the necessary changes to enable him to continue with his weight loss post-bariatric surgery.

I was close to 500 lbs several years ago, and lost all of my weight without surgery. I was a young, healthy male and was able to do so without surgery. That said, surgery would have made it SO MUCH easier, emotionally and physically, had I gone that route.

Leave it up to him whether or not to have the surgery, just know that if he is already doing this well on his own, the surgery can only help, and give him your full support no matter which decision he makes.

tbisca1

I think just reminding him of his success this far and the continued encouragement you are giving him will help motivate him. If he knows someone else obese that is willing to put in the work also then that helps. My mom, fiancé, and I started doing it together. We all had the "ah ha" moment at the same time and it has been the great support system that has been the key to our success. I have lost 111lbs, my mom 66lbs and my fiancé 40lbs. That's 217lbs total! Each person has to come to that one moment where it hits that they can and will get healthy but when others are on the journey with you it makes it so much easier. I wish him the best of luck whichever decision he makes and you are a great friend for being so concerned for him.

rockylucas

For wh and jasper...

Tell your friend NOT to get the lapband! If he is gonna go the surgery route, get surgery, not some contraption stuck inside you. I am doing my graduate practicum at a local surgical weight loss center, and everyone hates the band.

chrissaucier

I'm going to tell you the experiences I've seen as a nurse and bariatric surgery. If your friend can't manage the emotional part of his weight gain and eating then all the surgery in the world won't be the answer. Many people do well for a while, but if they haven't dealt with emotional portion the weight will come back. Bariatric surgery is a drastic life changing step and some people do have great success, just make sure he's found the right support and has researched the process before he proceeds.It's hard work to manage your new digestive system,once its been changed and getting the proper nutrition with a changed digestive track can be complicated.Good luck to your friend and good for you for being there to support him

Behavior_Modification

Not at 100lbs yet - but I will get there.

Slow and steady IS they key - making lifestyle changes and not dieting. Bariatric surgery will only get you so far. I was seriously considering it myself 2 yrs ago and decided it was best to go another route because surgery wasn't going to fix my bad habits. I did get professional help, which I do recommend your friend do (especially if he can afford it), but it was not from a surgeon. I got help from a nutrition coach, personal trainers and this year I did some behavior therapy.

I used to think I was a failure because I wasn't losing as fast as other people, but now I realize I'm ok with that because I didn't diet, I didn't overly restrict, I built muscle, and I feel like I lost the weight in a healthy way - and I AM able to continue doing what I'm doing because of that. When you diet, you eventually stop dieting - and then what? If you can't keep it up, don't start.

It can be done w/o surgery - there is hope for your friend.

Tropical_Turtle

I recently had what is called the vertical sleeve gastrectomy. It is a form of WLS - but prior to my surgery I took a HEAP of classes through my insurance, even sought out counseling for my eating issues and my relationship with food. The good thing for him is that he has already started the weight loss - because even pre op they will want him to lose some.

Surgery for me has been a GREAT TOOL to help me - and I wish I had done it sooner to be honest with you. Not everyone can lose weight naturally - some need tools to help them, but first they need to help themselves and address their issues and relationship with food. Keeping a journal is a great tool to help identify things.

Only 3-5% of people who take off weight naturally keep it off (as you might see when you see people posting I am back again talking about their weight and how it has yo yo'd)

Not everyone needs the tool to help them accomplish what their goal is, but some of us do!

Tropical_Turtle

For wh and jasper...

Tell your friend NOT to get the lapband! If he is gonna go the surgery route, get surgery, not some contraption stuck inside you. I am doing my graduate practicum at a local surgical weight loss center, and everyone hates the band.

This is the reason alot of people on a forum i belong to call it the crap band lol - Nasty vile thing to have inside you!!!

Debbe2

Tell your friend do it. Do it now! Your friend will not regret it and will only wonder why did I wait to do this when I knew or thought it could help me? We are all different and not able to gain or lose at the same rate or amount. Your friend's health will improve and so will quality of life. No doubt about it though.... Surgery is the hard way to lose weight. NOT the easy way out as many think. People who have bariatric surgery want better health, comfort and a better life for themselves. They have tried diets for years and years and are willing to do the very difficult work of living a changed lifestyle, with a changed digestive system, changed eating habits, changed ways to celebrate occasions and happy times and sad times and stressful times. It is all worth it to live healthy, without medication (daily vitamins a must though) and to be comfortable in your own skin without weight and size being baggage (in more ways than one) that you walk around with every day. So I say tell your friend to go ahead; and then support your friend through the life changing transformation. You will be glad you did! One piece of advice is to choose a great doctor- I think it's really important! Good luck with whatever you both decide.

stanvoodoo

WLS is a great tool but you have to be prepared. It helps you lose wieght and keep it off but you have to deal with why you got heavy in the first place and understand what changes MUST be made to your lifestyle.

Surgery does not fix you it just helps you to help yourself.

Lastly, I do not reccomend the Lap Band, too many horror stories for many reliable sources.

Do the research!!!!

bloodbank

I did not start out needing to lose 180 lbs, but needing to lose somewhere in the range of 125-135 lbs... and although I haven't updated my ticker in a bit, I only have 40 or so left to go.

It never occurred to me to ask someone to get all up in my guts and mess with my body. From what I understand, WLS simply 'forces' one to eat less, yes? Your friend can do that on his own, sans surgery and all the potential complications & risks. I certainly have, and I'm probably the biggest glutton I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Binge eating disorder plus a lifelong habit of complete laziness has not been easy to (or entirely) overcome, but it's all doable.

He doesn't need to do weird or fancy diets, he simply needs to believe in the science of calories in & calories out.

momtimesone

I would never get it done even if I was really really obese my reasons are because when it first came out my mother who struggled with her weight for years decided at age 42 to get it and even though my dad always told her she was beautiful she thought it would help. 3 Mts after the surgery she had a massive stroke and the doctors told her it was because she lost an extreme amount of weight to fast it was unhealthy. She was left paralyzed on the left side of her body and told me if she had the choice again she would of never done it. She lost weight after the stroke but gained it back because she was not moving around as she used to and now sadly she is gone she was 53 years old. Please tell your friend he should try this first because surgery its not a quick fix .you still have to work at things and still have to watch what you put in your mouth or you can and will gain it all back and have wasted thousands of dollars for nothing. I do not mean to be a downer but this is the truth coming from a daughter who lost her mom way to early

aviduser

Thanks to all of you who responded. I may share this link with him. I think he can do it, just like we have. It just takes work, commitment and time.

cramernh

I'm going to tell you the experiences I've seen as a nurse and bariatric surgery. If your friend can't manage the emotional part of his weight gain and eating then all the surgery in the world won't be the answer. Many people do well for a while, but if they haven't dealt with emotional portion the weight will come back. Bariatric surgery is a drastic life changing step and some people do have great success, just make sure he's found the right support and has researched the process before he proceeds.It's hard work to manage your new digestive system,once its been changed and getting the proper nutrition with a changed digestive track can be complicated.Good luck to your friend and good for you for being there to support him

I was going to say the same thing, but not as a nurse... I had worked in a GI-specialty practice where we had a patient BEGGING for a referral to a Bariatric surgeon... the GI, per his insurance had to be part of the referral process under his out-of-state insurance guidelines... The GI doctor said he would not do that because based on his entire medical record, he didnt show enough true medical history that he actually applied himself to a program for at least 18 months (again, limitations set by his insurance), continuously and unfortunately showed no compliance in any of the programs he tried. The patient was considered non-compliant for making any true behavioral changes to his eating habits.... thus, a post-bariatric surgical patient with an extreme high risk of basically eating himself to death.

Its like the quoted post here says - and its very true: "Bariatric surgery is a drastic life changing step" - if your friend is having trouble making permanent and necessary eating changes and behavioral changes right now, how will you know he/she will comply after this type of surgery?

TooFatToFit

Tell your friend do it. Do it now! 8< SNIP >8 Surgery is the hard way to lose weight. NOT the easy way out as many think. People who have bariatric surgery want better health, comfort and a better life for themselves. They have tried diets for years and years and are willing to do the very difficult work of living a changed lifestyle, with a changed digestive system, changed eating habits, changed ways to celebrate occasions and happy times and sad times and stressful times. >8 SNIP 8<

I think the OP inferred that his friend really may not be ready for all of that. I was pretty sure that doctors would not do gastric bypass unless they have been through thorough counseling, but maybe that's only here in Canada, or maybe they don't enforce that at all anymore. The impression I got was that the friend has not been willing or able to change the way he treats food, so perhaps some therapy would be helpful before a decision is made.

I worked with a girl during the time of her gastric bypass and it wasn't good...she threw up all the time because she didn't do well with the new food and quantity restrictions. Her nutrition wasn't maintained and her hair fell out. I don't know how it ended up because I stopped working there, but it wasn't good in her case.

I have another friend who has had some kind of WLS, though I'm not sure which one, and she is eating well and exercising and really seems to be enjoying her new life.

Behavior_Modification

Not everyone can lose weight naturally -

:huh: Since when? :huh:

beach_bum_gurl

I am 5+ years out from RnY, Surgery was the best thing I have ever done in my life. That being said, the decision to have surgery is an extremely personal decision for each person. My advice, have your friend do his research about the different procedures and then find a top-notch surgeon with a comprehensive program (that is, performing surgery at a Bariatric Center of Excellence) if he decides that surgery is the route of his journey. There is so much more to the success of this surgery than just the surgery itself! Nutritional and psychosocial support plays a huge role in success!

If you would like to know more about my experience, you can go back in the archives and read the first couple of blogposts in my blog here:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/beach_bum_gurl

MissingMyOldSelf

I had lap band done in June of 09. I went from 228 to 214 in the week before surgery for the pre-op diet of the Medifast, but I was also sick from drinking so much water, since the Medifast is so high in sodium. I got "all the way down" to 200lbs and found out that I have a massive leak in my lap band, so in reality, it does no good to me, and insurance won't pay for a replacement part or band. Of course, my surgeon won't pay for a replacement, either. So, I ended up having myself completely unfilled in July of this summer. Since July, I've gone from 200lbs (ish) to 186. I'd say that I don't need that stinkin band and all of the barfing that came with it. Now, granted, since I still have it, there's still some days where I'm stressed and I end up getting sick on a lot of things, but no where NEAR what I was doing before.

My two other friends who have it have both agreed that if we found this site before our surgeries, we wouldn't have even had the surgery done. We would have had more success doing this, and saved a hell of a lot of $$$.

Ruby11222

I had my stomach stapled 11 years ago so i'm not against weight loss surgery but in saying that I really do not agree with getting a bypass without at least trying a banding first. Bypass is a HUGE, MAJOR surgery that can have horrific effects like not being able to absorb nutrients, not being able to eat, whereas a banding reduces the stomach size, is adjustable, and can be removed!

My surgery did not "make me" lose weight. I did get to a good weight for a brief time after having it, but only through fasting and heavy restriction. I gained it all back and more. I do not regret having the surgery, who knows how big I would have gotten without it.

seal57

I have a friend who has struggled with his weight for all of the 23 years that I've known him. He has tried every diet out there, including Weight Watchers. He has recently lost 40 lbs, but needs to lose about 180 lbs. He has been considering surgery for a LONG time, and the topic has come up again.

From my own experience, I think that if he can lose 40 lbs, he can use MFP or something similar (I like MFP because I had success with it) and gradually lose the weight he needs to lose. I firmly believe that there are no shortcuts to losing weight. You just have to do it gradually (1-2 lbs/week) for as long as it takes to reach your goal. Further, even after bariatric surgery, you still have to change your eating habits (as far as I know). So why wait?

I suggested that he schedule the surgery for 60-90 days out and try to stick to a MFP plan until then. If he is making progress, then he can push the surgery date out another 60 days, and so on. If not, he has the surgery scheduled as a fall back.

HOWEVER, while I was definitely overweight (and according to the BMI, obese) I have never been as overweight as my friend. I know that many here have lost HUGE amounts of weight with MFP, so I was hoping for a little help from those who have lost over 100 lbs and/or who have had bariatric surgery.

What should I tell my friend? Do it or not? It seems like hard advice to tell him to try MFP when other diets have failed. Part of it is the attitude. It will not happen to you, it will only happen by you--if you make it happen. I am not sure he is there, in which case the surgery might not be a good idea either.

Thanks in advance.

How did he lose the 40lbs?.....

I would tell him to join MFP....Let him see how much people on here are losing......

No way would I have any kind of WLS as I love my food.....