How not to seem rude at a family gathering?

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Dannypuck
Dannypuck Posts: 1,067 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
My father often likes to have a family gatherings and last night my aunt from California came over. I had a burger and a hot dog, but they were wondering why I wasn't eating more. I did tell them that I am trying to support my wife and her diet, and they were understanding. However, I felt like I was rude because I didn't eat what I normally eat. I do have a gathering with my in-laws in two weeks. Any tips for me to be mindful of my diet and still have a good time? Thanks.
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Replies

  • mhotch
    mhotch Posts: 901 Member
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    Do the same. eat till you are satisfied and not till the feeling of stuffed. If asked, tell them you are full, it was delicious. and leave it at that.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    Just say "no thanks" and move on. Your family has no right to be offended if you don't want to eat a few thousand extra calories...they should be supportive of you. The fact that you've shown up to see everyone should be more important, and if they feel the need to count how much you eat, that's their problem, not yours!
  • carebear7951
    carebear7951 Posts: 404 Member
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    Maybe they are the ones being rude if they are offended that you are trying to be healthy and support your wife!? I just don't see where it's hurtful to take smaller portions and politely decline more. Family is tough though....
  • 12by311
    12by311 Posts: 1,719 Member
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    I enjoy family get togethers. I eat, laugh, be merry. I just watch my portions.

    Who says you have to gorge yourself to enjoy the family time? Sounds like you ate plenty. I don't see it as rude if you choose not to eat a huge portion.

    Keep doing what you are doing and if others have things to say, they are the rude ones :)
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
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    you could also enjoy the food, possibly go over your cals and get back on track the next day. One day or meal isn't going to sabotage your diet
  • ChantalGG
    ChantalGG Posts: 2,404 Member
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    Why dont you tell them the truth and it is YOU that is on a weight loss journey. There is nothing wrong with it. When you see them again bring a healthy dish too if it is not at your place.
  • tristahenry
    tristahenry Posts: 175
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    I feel your pain, my family is the same way. If I'm asked if I'm hungry and I say no my mom says, "its ok, I just make you a snack..." and procedes to make me a 1000 calories snack. I just save extra calories before family functions and plan on doing an extra calorie burner the next day. You can also plan to bring something to the house that you can eat a ton of, like salad, if it's not insulting.
  • purpletrillium
    purpletrillium Posts: 124
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    I have friends that invite us regularly for dinner. The problem is, the guy likes to cook new dishes (a lot of meat dishes with rubs and other sauces) and wants us to try everything! The problem is I get wicked acid reflux after eating there, because I'm trying to be good but not insult him either. Not sure what to do either, except starve myself all day in anticipation of having all my daily calories in one meal....
  • ChantalGG
    ChantalGG Posts: 2,404 Member
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    what you should do is bring out your phone, if you have the appt, and punch in what you would of eaten and what you are eating now and how by doing this you will lose so much in a week or month.
  • Dannypuck
    Dannypuck Posts: 1,067 Member
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    Don't get me wrong. My family was cool with it. I'm just worried when I go to other places. My family has always been bigger and they are rooting for me.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    No offense intended toward anyone, but eating more to please other people is just plain stupid...most people are overweight because they ate for all the wrong reasons, so this is the time to take control of yourself and what goes into your body.
  • ChantalGG
    ChantalGG Posts: 2,404 Member
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    You can always say, "if you want me to eat more i can always take some home for lunch tomorrow"
  • elawiswakarma
    elawiswakarma Posts: 7
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    First you could find something you CAN eat more of. ie veggies, or try to eat much slower so it's not noticable. Or grin and say with humor 'yeah I think my stomache is shrinking, cuz I feel full now!"
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    My father often likes to have a family gatherings and last night my aunt from California came over. I had a burger and a hot dog, but they were wondering why I wasn't eating more. I did tell them that I am trying to support my wife and her diet, and they were understanding. However, I felt like I was rude because I didn't eat what I normally eat. I do have a gathering with my in-laws in two weeks. Any tips for me to be mindful of my diet and still have a good time? Thanks.

    I think your answer was perfect. I don't really see what's rude about only eating what you want to eat, I think it's rude and intrusive for people to push food onto others (in most situations, there are exceptions like when I was anorexic).
  • girlypop
    girlypop Posts: 80
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    This is a great question with thanks giving around the corner for canadians anyway!

    lol i would suggest politely saying no 'thank you'. With holidays I know lots of different foods will be passed around and I agree it can seem rude to refuse someone's cooking so have SMALL samples of the different foods, and than thank the provider, but you don't need to have tons to enjoy someone's cooking. If asked, mention you are watching your weight and leave it at that. As long as your polite and cheerful and nice for the rest of the time, your family should be ok with that.

    I would also suggest not eating prepared foods being served (ex: chips). This will likely not offend as many because no one actually cooked/prepared the food so its less touchy. One caveat to this is if its mentioned that the food was bought particularly for you... (i.e. oh, but I bought that type of chips, because I know it's your favorite!) Than I can understand feeling guilty about not eating it, but there's no need to. Politely mentioning your trying to eat healthier should cover it. Than the key will be to move on. Just because your working towards a healthier life style doesn't mean you need to become a wall flower, so taste the home cooking, thank ppl and than be the regular happy polite and cheerful person you would be anyway! Good luck!
  • chubby_checkers
    chubby_checkers Posts: 2,353 Member
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    my grandmother is from the mindset that if you don't eat, you don't love her. we get around it by taking the amount we want and then eating very slowly so she never sees you without food on your plate. :)
  • minimommy1
    minimommy1 Posts: 84 Member
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    Hope this doesn't sound rude but by your picture you appear spanish. I am from Florida and I am familiar with the spanish culture. As with many other latin cultures they love food. Food is central to all family gatherings. It is the way mothers show their love to the family. I understand where you are coming from. Spanish food is by its very nature fattening. I don't know if you like to cook but maybe you could experiment with a dish to make it more healthy and share that with the family but not tell them that it is healthy. Providing some veggies that you can fill up on is always benenficial as well. Saving calories during the day to use that night and maybe an extra walk will help also.

    Hope this helps.
  • Seajolly
    Seajolly Posts: 1,435 Member
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    Why not bring a healthy dish to share with everybody? It'll be a nice gesture, but also you can eat more of your own so it doesn't look like you're not eating much. But really, it's your body and your life. Just explain to anyone who asks that you're trying to eat healthier.
  • Dannypuck
    Dannypuck Posts: 1,067 Member
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    Hope this doesn't sound rude but by your picture you appear spanish. I am from Florida and I am familiar with the spanish culture. As with many other latin cultures they love food. Food is central to all family gatherings. It is the way mothers show their love to the family. I understand where you are coming from. Spanish food is by its very nature fattening. I don't know if you like to cook but maybe you could experiment with a dish to make it more healthy and share that with the family but not tell them that it is healthy. Providing some veggies that you can fill up on is always benenficial as well. Saving calories during the day to use that night and maybe an extra walk will help also.

    Hope this helps.

    I appreciate the advice. I'm actually Scottish, French, English and a little bit of Cherokee. The room was just dark in that pic. I do want to thank EVERYONE for offering me tips. You guys rock!
  • jayliospecky
    jayliospecky Posts: 25,022 Member
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    I have one more...to a certain extent, how we feel is about what we are dwelling on in our own heads. If you felt rude even though your family seemed fine with it, it's something you'll have to get used to and forgive yourself for. Also, if you're anything like my husband, sometimes he has a hard time with words, but you can always take extra time to compliment how delicious and wonderful the food was. Personally as the one doing most of the cooking in our house, I like it when people tell me the food was fabulous and I don't spend as much time watching how many helpings they take.

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