GRRRRRRAAARRRGHHHH!!!!!!!! vent about mother in law..

farfalledibaciodinotte

FML! So hubby and I have our own house here in Okc, and His dad and his father and step mother stay with us occasionally when they are on vacation from being on the road.. they are truck drivers...

They begged us to keep their stuff here, to take our spare bedroom, store their car here, and pawned their dog off on us .... (we love maggie so it's like she's ours now)
They only come here like once a month and it's for a few days at a time..

I absolutely abhor my mother in law.. she's not mean or nasty to me, but she does think that my hubby and I are children and irresponsible and so on and so on..

We got a call tonight saying that hubby's father and step mom have been fighting like crazy and out of the blue she decided she no longer wants to drive with his dad, and she's MOVING IN WITH US!!!!!! FML. We already hate when they come here, eat our food, smoke in our house, not help out with bills, and still expect us to be happy.. now I have to share a home with this crazy woman... seriously.. she is the ***** from hell. degrading to hubby's father and to hubby.. I just want to tell her off.

now I have to live with this lady?!

oh and now we're STUCK in Oklahoma now for a while because we were planning on moving back to florida since he's getting out of the Airforce. We wanted a new start, and a place where we weren't responsible for their stuff. I mean how an we possibly work on our relationship, and building it up when we never have an ounce of privacy... we were thinking of TTC and now we're going to have to sneak around and plan out our intimacy around when his step mom is in the house. UGH..

am I over reacting??

DannyMussels

Is that you and her in your picture?

farfalledibaciodinotte

Is that you and her in your picture?

lmao. no she's more of the old hag witch..

Johnnyswife

Heck no...she's his step mom..not his mom..I wouldn't do that to my step daughter, but maybe that's just me. How does he feel about her moving in?

farfalledibaciodinotte

Heck no...she's his step mom..not his mom..I wouldn't do that to my step daughter, but maybe that's just me. How does he feel about her moving in?

HE doesn't speak his mind about anything. He asked them to not smoke in the house, and it stopped for a day, but then they right back to it.. they just don't care.

Johnnyswife

I'd tell her no than. If he won't speak up than you do it. Temporary is one thing, but if its your house, no one can just bust up in and announce that they are moving in. Wow...sorry your dealing with that mess..

pmich08

I would just say no. Tell her to get her own dam place to stay. There is no reason you need that burden, you were nice to store their stuff and let them stop by once a month, but she has no right to decide she's moving in with you. Put your foot down if your hubby won't!

Good luck!

quietlywinning

Just. Say. NO.

Seriously, who announces, "I'm moving in with you"???? You ARE adults and not irresponsible children that she acts like you are, so your husband needs to "man up" and tell her he's very sorry she is having troubles getting along with his dad, but the two of them need to work it out. If a separation is in order, she needs to find herself an apartment.

Sometimes our parents don't grow up until their kids make them.

42hockeymom

Nope.

You need to speak to your DH. It is your house. You guys have every right to set down boundaries. You can be nice and say, ok, sure you can stay with for x amount of days, and we love you and all, BUT, we don't think it'd be a good idea for all of us to live in the same place. Here, let me help you find a place on Craigslist........

If she can't take Maggie with her, reassure her that Maggie is still hers too and that she's always welcome to come over to see Maggie whenever she wants (just call first). And lay down some rules about smoking right now! Hey my husband and oldest daughter smoke, and they don't smoke in the house or in my car. And it's hubby's house.

Just make sure whatever you do, it's with your hubby too. So that you both are in agreement and show a united front to this woman. And, (I guess if ya have to, geesh) remember she's a little raw right now, probably, from all the fighting with his dad. So, you probably will want to make sure that all of your statements to her are in the ownership tone ie: I/we feel that...... Don't go with any finger pointing, that'll put her on the defensive and you'll have a mess on your hands. Not saying the other way will work, but usually it does.

Good luck with whatever you do.

mageepilot

Overreacting?!?! WTH Just say NO, HELL NO. That is all. :smokin:

reinventingandrea

See, this is where I'd turn into the ***** from hell. There's no way I could just let her move in. It's you and hubby's house so I'd just have to put my foot down. I do know too that's easier said than done. I hope everything works out for you guys. I'd hate to think that my BF's mother moved in on us. I'd be on an episode of Snapped lol.

WifeNMama

Who says she's living with you? Whose house is it? Last I hears, you can't just announce you're moving in with someone without your permission. If YOU decide to allow her to stay with you, out of the goodness of your heart, then you can write up a rental agreement. No smoking, rent due on a certain day, one room for her belongings, the rest can go to a storage facility that she is responsible to pay for. If she doesn't like the conditions, she will have to find a different place to stay. Oh and yeah, moving out of town is a good enough reason to say no.

Really, it might be time for you and your husband to sit her down and have a chat as to what acceptable behavior will be if she visits. It sounds as though she has been given free reign, and that isn't fair to you guys or your kids. I can only imagine how frustrating this is, especially with family.

pinkgigi

If it was me, she moves in I would move out.

You have a right to say who lives you your house, and how you live your life.

GG

farfalledibaciodinotte

Nope.

You need to speak to your DH. It is your house. You guys have every right to set down boundaries. You can be nice and say, ok, sure you can stay with for x amount of days, and we love you and all, BUT, we don't think it'd be a good idea for all of us to live in the same place. Here, let me help you find a place on Craigslist........

If she can't take Maggie with her, reassure her that Maggie is still hers too and that she's always welcome to come over to see Maggie whenever she wants (just call first). And lay down some rules about smoking right now! Hey my husband and oldest daughter smoke, and they don't smoke in the house or in my car. And it's hubby's house.

Just make sure whatever you do, it's with your hubby too. So that you both are in agreement and show a united front to this woman. And, (I guess if ya have to, geesh) remember she's a little raw right now, probably, from all the fighting with his dad. So, you probably will want to make sure that all of your statements to her are in the ownership tone ie: I/we feel that...... Don't go with any finger pointing, that'll put her on the defensive and you'll have a mess on your hands. Not saying the other way will work, but usually it does.

Good luck with whatever you do.

Hubbz and I were talking and we believe it's probably not going to last for very long, because his dad is more than over her taking his balls all the time and treating him like ****. we think she'll probably end up moving back to Pennsylvania. it's just so frustrating.

sinnimone

Put your foot down! Don't let her move in. Step-mom or not, nobody should not just move in on you.. especially if they are miserable, trouble-makers as she sounds to be. There is nothing more important than your marriage and your mental, emotional health! Her living with you could greatly harm your marriage. She is a grown woman and needs to take care of herself. Does she have any immediate family? Is there a reason she is not working?

I feel your pain my mother-in-law is always trying to move in on us! Luckily, my husband can't live with her craziness either, so he won't let her. She is always trying to get his attention and is jealous if we go out on a "date night"! Crazy Lady! haha

Feel free to vent on and I hope there is a way to stop it from happening!

SparkleShine

Overreacting?!?! WTH Just say NO, HELL NO. That is all. :smokin:

Yes! This!!!

Deathwithab

tell her a big hell to the no!

its your house , your food , your life, if she cant take care of herself by her age then she shouldnt have gotten into that mess of not having a place to live. specualy if you were planning to move . she has no right to expect you to put up with it .

MoonMyst3

In my opinion, I don't think you're over-reacting and I wouldn't change your plans about moving back to Florida if that's what the two of you truly want. It is not your responsibility to take care of your (husband's) step-mom and if she does move in with you, I would firmly set out the boundaries of her residency -- i.e.: paying part of the rent/groceries, no smoking in the house and, most importantly, that it is a temporary arrangement until she/they can get a place of their own. I wouldn't just let them do as they please and take advantage of your generosity or they will have no desire to get their own place. It may be uncomfortable for you and/or your husband to speak your mind about these issues but remember all healthy relationships have boundaries. Good luck to you.

spackham

No. Your relationship comes first. Just let her know you are unable to have her move in.

SabrinaJL

I absolutely abhor my mother in law.. she's not mean or nasty to me, but she does think that my hubby and I are children and irresponsible and so on and so on..

now I have to live with this lady?!

No, you don't. And if you just let her move in despite the fact that you don't want her to, then you are LETTING her treat you like irresponsible children. You are adults. It's your house. You CAN say no.

Pebble321

No.
Say no.

MrsFarrow

Say no. Put your foot down. Someone else said it as well, if you let this happen, you are saying it's ok to treat you like that. She will continue to bully you into things. Nope. Make her go to HER home, and tell her to take her crap with her while she's on the way.


She doesn't pay bills, she doesn't contribute to the home, she can go do that at her place and leave you two out of it.

If you let this happen, you have no right to complain because at that point, YOU allowed it to happen. She is his step mother. She made the decision that she didn't want to drive with his father anymore for whatever reason, now she has to figure something out for herself. She calls you two children, but mooches off you two? Oh no. No no no.

What are hubby's feelings on this?

Chastityx

In my opinion, I don't think you're over-reacting and I wouldn't change your plans about moving back to Florida if that's what the two of you truly want. It is not your responsibility to take care of your (husband's) step-mom and if she does move in with you, I would firmly set out the boundaries of her residency -- i.e.: paying part of the rent/groceries, no smoking in the house and, most importantly, that it is a temporary arrangement until she/they can get a place of their own. I wouldn't just let them do as they please and take advantage of your generosity or they will have no desire to get their own place. It may be uncomfortable for you and/or your husband to speak your mind about these issues but remember all healthy relationships have boundaries. Good luck to you.

TEMPORARY,set a date, too.

cobracars

Well, you could always start to have wild sex in your living room and see if that drives her out! :bigsmile:
Karma has a way of getting back at everyone. We all never know when it could be US that need some help from family. Make her feel welcome to your home while she goes thru this painful period in her life. Show some love and compassion, for awhile. Anything beyond a few months is stretching it a bit though. Just as fighting and being rude to each other has a way of escalating, so too does good manners and hospitality. Include her in the plan to move to Florida and let her know your home will be going on the market soon and it positively CAN NOT smell like smoke to potential buyers. Lots of homes in Florida have great arrangements for company to stay over and are designed with a center public area and two separate private areas...one for you and husband, one for guests.
She most likely won't want to make the move with you..

farfalledibaciodinotte

Well, you could always start to have wild sex in your living room and see if that drives her out! :bigsmile:
Karma has a way of getting back at everyone. We all never know when it could be US that need some help from family. Make her feel welcome to your home while she goes thru this painful period in her life. Show some love and compassion, for awhile. Anything beyond a few months is stretching it a bit though. Just as fighting and being rude to each other has a way of escalating, so too does good manners and hospitality. Include her in the plan to move to Florida and let her know your home will be going on the market soon and it positively CAN NOT smell like smoke to potential buyers. Lots of homes in Florida have great arrangements for company to stay over and are designed with a center public area and two separate private areas...one for you and husband, one for guests.
She most likely won't want to make the move with you..

lmao we're originally from florida.. lol so is she. and there is no way in hell she and his father are moving in with us when we move to florida. lol