Don't Know What To Do!!!!

Hellbent_Heidi

Yeah, I'm with the others about talking to your mother and telling her to get with the program. Its difficult enough to be a girl going through the emotional and physical changes of puberty without that added weight problem. Your mother isn't doing her any favors by giving her junk food.

If I were in your shoes, I'd try to find another doctor to get a second opinion as well....there is a good chance of some underlying issue there if she's continuing to gain and is pretty active. Best of luck to you and your daughter...my heart goes out to her!

Seminolegirl97

My best friend has a 13 year old. My friend runs a lot of 5K's. So she asked her daughter if she wanted to run a race with her. Well that child got hooked on the competition of running and the training. It's an activity they do together and an acitivity us adults in her life can support and join in as well. It takes a village to raise a kid. Good luck. I'm sure it will be ok.

ashlielinn

I had similar problems when I was a kid, but going to the nutritionist helped. More because they taught me about HOW to eat...slowly...chew each bite 40 times, not to feel guilty about leaving food on my plate, not to go back for extra helpings, etc. Also, my Grandmother started asking me to walk with her. We walked about 2 miles every day (not all that long) during a summer and it helped SO much! I lost about 40 pounds in three months, just because I was aware of how I was eating and doing more activity. Maybe start walking with her in the evenings? Tell her you need help staying motivated, so she'll think she's doing it for you!

voluptuous_veggie

Does she go to school or is she homeschooled? I only ask, because a lot of kids at that age start sneaking/hoarding food at school, when mom and dad aren't around to see. If she is in school, there are probably people there you can talk to. A school nurse or counselor, who can make sure she isn't sneaking junk. They might also be able to tell you if there is anything else possibly concerning that you aren't seeing at home - fatigue, loss of interest, etc. The problem might be more than skin deep. I suggest talking to her teachers, nurses, counselors, etc.

kapeluza

Does she exercise? Are you feeding her healthy foods or junk? Start there? Maybe take her to the doctor and see a nutritionist?
Does she drink soda? Does she eat sweets? Does she eat that crap they serve at school? Does she have eating hours or do you guys eat whenever?

Never mind, I saw what you posted about the doctor. Does she eat clean? Veggies and fruits?

Lizzy_Sunflower

My best friend has a 13 year old. My friend runs a lot of 5K's. So she asked her daughter if she wanted to run a race with her. Well that child got hooked on the competition of running and the training. It's an activity they do together and an acitivity us adults in her life can support and join in as well. It takes a village to raise a kid. Good luck. I'm sure it will be ok.

This is GREAT advice! you could start a C25k program with her. Time well spent towards a healthier life together.

www.c25k.com and there are great podcasts and apps available

Good Luck!

P.S. the post about deeper problems kind of struck a note with me. maybe a counselor or therapist could help. I wish someone had taken a closer look at my problems when I was that age, it would have solved a lot of heartache later in life. You need to sit your mom down and have a heart to heart as well. She needs to be on the same page with you. Best of luck

joybell32

All of the above ideas are great. If you are currently taking her to a doctor and getting nowhere, get a second opinion. Find a different nutritionist. Definiently, cut out soda and limit snacks. Also, too, one thing that i don't recall seeing is: Make sure she knows that no matter what she is loved and appreciated for the beautiful young lady that she is. Don't focus on her weight. If that is your focus, that will become her focus too, which could lead to an eating disorder. I walk that fine line wiht my kids. They are young, but I was young once too and got fat pretty quick and have been dealing with it my whole life. I don't want that for my kids.

k2quiere

LOL, She has been going to the nutritionist since Feb. Seems to just be getting worse. They just tell us that she needs to eat better. Well I would not take her over an hour and 1/2 away to the doctor if I thought they would not help. But she has gain this 20 pounds actually going to the doctor too. So that is what I mean. I have tried everything. Doctor and all

I would have the doc check her hormone levels. Yes, she's young, but I started my period at 9. When my daughter started hers at 11, she gained nearly 40lbs during that first year.

stubbysticks

Oh, this post hits home for me since I grew up a chubby kid. I have a 13 yr old daughter who has become overweight as well. Now that I've successfully been able to lose some weight, I've thought about what might have made a difference back then. I think the biggest thing is teaching her the connection between what she CHOOSES to put in her mouth & her weight. The fact that she's active is wonderful, & you'll never be able to control everthing she has access to. But expressing to her how those choices are directly impacting her weight is something you can do.

Beware of shame. That's a feeling I remember vividly from my childhood. The last thing she needs is to be ashamed of her size. Be as positive & constructive as you can. You can tell her she doesn't need to "diet" because thinking she has to stay away from treats forever will make her want them more. Maybe tell her how to have them in moderation, like limiting the richest foods to once a week or something like that.

Is she motivated to do anything about her weight at all?

nfprox

Have you checked to see if she is starting puberty a little early? Estrogen is stored in body fat.

Evelyn2050

This is a hard issue. I have girlfriend who's daughter is 9 or 10 and struggles with her weight too. there are no easy answers. Be as faithful to the task of keeping healthy choices in the house as you can be; set the example on how to eat; do your exercising with her in mind (exercise together in a way that is fun for a 10 year old); again, as you set the example of being active kids will follow suit; and trust that in the long haul you will start to see the right results. Blessings.

snowstorme

My daughter since puberty has always been a little overweight. She's decided she wants to do something about it now so I set her up with an account on myfitnesspal and am helping her log everything she's eating so she knows exactly how many calories and what kind they are. Depending on the maturity of your daughter this maybe a way to go, get her educated in what she's putting into her body. I know at that age I snuck food alot. If you can, get the crap out of the house. So it won't be available there. Also I don't know about your school district but ours really doesn't have that healthy of a school lunch. So I've started packing well balanced portion controls lunches for my daughter.

ilikejam33

I want to share a thought and it may not be the case in your situtation, but if you are doing everything to give her healthy options, and she is active, and the doctor has found no issues, then you may want to check where the extra food is coming from.

I can only offer you my own personal experiance, when i was 11 i started to notice that i was bigger than other girls, and i handled this by sneaking food to comfort myself. I would get it everywhere, from the school vending machines, stopping at store on the walk home, and my parents never knew. I even hid food in my room and other places they would not find it. my parents were dumbfounded becasue to them i hardley ate at meal times, and i was active in school sports. Eventually for me this behaviour of binging turned into binging and purging.

Like i said i truley hope this is not the case in your scenario, but keep it in mind, girls do these things and they are very good at hiding things. Maybe try sharing some facts with her, and showing her pictures of healthy women (not models, healthy real sized women), I sure wish my mom had reached out like you have.

Good luck

Miggy52

Me thinks your going to have a heart to heart with your mom....maybe you should request to see a specialist or something...just to set your mind at ease...could be she is just at the awkward stage...and her body is trying to adjust to things....

theginnyray

How does your daughter feel about the weight gain? Does she complain about it? Does she notice? Are you making a bigger deal about it than she is?
I agree about getting her more active and involved - however you need to do that. Get on a bike with her. Get roller blades, scooters, trampolines, new running shoes, do it WITH her. Make it about getting healthy, not about losing the weight. She's a young girl, I think it's very important not to scare her into losing a bunch of weight, which is likely to cause an eating disorder of some type.
Good luck mama! I think it's awesome that you are willing to do something about it, and not just enable her. Just remember the fine line for girls that age!

amfmmama

Does she drink soda or sports drinks? My son's pediatrition says that it is a huge contributor to childhood obesity.

FairyMiss

She loves riding bikes and playing out side, She does as much activity as she can. I never have to tell her quit watching tv. She is in activities as long as I can afford them. I am just stuck. I try to make her eat healthy. But she always seems to get what she wants at my mom's house. I am working on it. Just hard when my mom does not help out with the healthy eatting.

ha seem you have much the same issue i have, i am trying to get my son to eat healither, my mom says she is on board, then buys all kinds of cookies and sweets,


got to try to get your mom on board. maybe try to get her to go with the two of you to the nutritionist