my love life sucks! :(

allie_girl

Don't settle. I was in a relationship for a year and a half and miserable for most of it. I made a lot of compromises for him. I do have to say my fitness was on par while I was with him because he never wanted to do anything so I worked out a lot HA. I am so much happier single.

I'm going to have to quote Sex and the City on this one... "We whine when we don't have boyfriends, we whine when we do" ... you'll find someone who suits you in time. Probably when you least expect it.

Shanna_Inc86

Your life only sucks if you let it suck. You don't need a man in your life to make it good. You make it good.

I've said these exact same words to friends!

Focus on you...buy a battery operated friend if need be and don't rush to fall in love b/c you're lonely.
Figure YOU out and what YOU want in a man.

I'll say this to the guys too...don't just settle for any chic....really be into her and let her know you're into her, just in a non creepy way

Shanna_Inc86

Yeah I am 32, single, and no kids, I need to get on the ball!!!

You're doin you...besides men can get away with having kids older and its not as big of a deal...plus with your looks and your fitness level you could easily find yourself a 28y.o. hotter when you're 40 and do all that family & baby jazz :laugh:

T_R_A_V

I think the moment you stop looking it might just fall into place

jlzrdking

I feel the need to share my experience:

Married at 26 divorced at 28 no kids, I picked the wrong person to marry because I didn't want to be alone and she walked out on me and our marriage.

So to kind of keep it short from the age of 28 till the age of 39 there were many single dates and short relationships with women that were just plain awful and I would also go years, yes years without a date at all.

At 39 I met the woman I am with now and we have been together for over two and a half years and are planning on getting married.

Looking back on it all I would not change it for anything, being alone is not a burden or a time to feel sad for yourself it's an opportunity to do things you cannot do or will be very hard to do once you are in a relationship or have a family.

I went back to school and completed my degree and worked on my career, joined the local Jaycees and got involved in the community, bought a house, spent time with my family, traveled when I could. I've been white water rafting so many times I feel like I could navigate the Ocoee by myself if I had to.

I feel kind of silly posting all this now but I could not stop thinking about this thread.

You are one day closer to meeting someone special

Do not settle and do not rush into something just so you will not be alone




P.S. I worry about my spelling so if I made any really bad errors I typed this kind of quick.... wish we had spell check.

Hirundo

Your life only sucks if you let it suck. You don't need a man in your life to make it good. You make it good.

From what i see the ones that seem to be the most unhappy with being single tend to be the most unhappy with their couple too anyway ...
my 2 cents again ...


edited because i can't type -.-

warmachinejt

mine too lol
i can't take myself to accept a girl looks good it hurts my ego it's not like i'm afraid to ask someone out it's just I would inferior asking a girl out and maybe working out isn't helping me being approachable..
oops no commas

btw i have been asked out before but it's just not who i was expecting -_-

syiyi

Don't settle. I was in a relationship for a year and a half and miserable for most of it. I made a lot of compromises for him. I do have to say my fitness was on par while I was with him because he never wanted to do anything so I worked out a lot HA. I am so much happier single.

I'm going to have to quote Sex and the City on this one... "We whine when we don't have boyfriends, we whine when we do" ... you'll find someone who suits you in time. Probably when you least expect it.

thanks for sharing!!

MrsNoir

I couldn't agree most with this girl. I'm married and even that one can suck sometimes!! so the answer is not in finding one, but in finding yourself comfortable being yourself, and until you won't feel comfy in your shoes nobody will try to have a proper relationship with you, as there is no bigger attraction than confidence in oneself, if you believe you are the problem then you won't find anyone, that's for sure. In the meantime, make the most of your time finding yourself and doing all those minors changes that would make you irresistable and proud of yourself, then someone will knock on your door. GUARANTEED!

Mine doesn't suck...it's non-existent!!! :laugh:

The way I look at it is, right now I'm working on me. If someone interesting were to come into my life at this point I would definitely go for it - otherwise I'm going to wait a little while before taking an active role IN finding someone.

The most important thing is to be happy with yourself as a single person and don't feel like you need someone to 'complete' you.

:flowerforyou:

syiyi

I feel the need to share my experience:

Married at 26 divorced at 28 no kids, I picked the wrong person to marry because I didn't want to be alone and she walked out on me and our marriage.

So to kind of keep it short from the age of 28 till the age of 39 there were many single dates and short relationships with women that were just plain awful and I would also go years, yes years without a date at all.

At 39 I met the woman I am with now and we have been together for over two and a half years and are planning on getting married.

Looking back on it all I would not change it for anything, being alone is not a burden or a time to feel sad for yourself it's an opportunity to do things you cannot do or will be very hard to do once you are in a relationship or have a family.

I went back to school and completed my degree and worked on my career, joined the local Jaycees and got involved in the community, bought a house, spent time with my family, traveled when I could. I've been white water rafting so many times I feel like I could navigate the Ocoee by myself if I had to.

I feel kind of silly posting all this now but I could not stop thinking about this thread.

You are one day closer to meeting someone special

Do not settle and do not rush into something just so you will not be alone




P.S. I worry about my spelling so if I made any really bad errors I typed this kind of quick.... wish we had spell check.

thanks for sharing your story.. It makes me think. I'm thinking.. lol!!!

CharlieBarleyMom

Life is not about having a partner. While it's nice to share life with someone there are times that you have to be alone to learn your lessons. My guess is you might have some lessons on self love that need working on before others will be able to fully love you. What areas of your life are you feeling unsatisfied (excluding your singledom)? Perhaps if you work on other areas of your life and find happiness with in then you'll find others who are wanting to be with you (if you'll even want them at that time!) Whatever you're lacking you'll never find outside of yourself. Always look in first to find what you need.

^ OK on this... but also, more importantly, you may not be able to fully love just yet. Not that you are not allowing yourself to be loved but the same about you being able to love.

One thing I've always said... it is important to LIVE alone before you settle down into a relationship. Get to know who you are. What you want. Who you want to be. How you like to have things and how you like to have things done. These are important things to know about you before you can fully give yourself over to love. Before you can actually find what you're looking for, you need to KNOW what you are looking for.

Eventually you will find it - have faith in that - and all the while, love yourself and make your journey fun!

auticus

Very well put. It drives me bonkers to watch the people around me hop from person to person just so they aren't alone. That's one reason why relationships in this country are so disposable.... it's sad.

bregalad5

Life is not about having a partner. While it's nice to share life with someone there are times that you have to be alone to learn your lessons. My guess is you might have some lessons on self love that need working on before others will be able to fully love you. What areas of your life are you feeling unsatisfied (excluding your singledom)? Perhaps if you work on other areas of your life and find happiness with in then you'll find others who are wanting to be with you (if you'll even want them at that time!) Whatever you're lacking you'll never find outside of yourself. Always look in first to find what you need.

Thanks for that reminder. I keep telling myself that, but it's always nice to hear it from another source.

Edited because apparently I'm having a bad typing day already

jb_sweet_99

my girlfriends are all marry and those that are not have bf.. ugh!!!! But It seems like I'm the only one who is solo.. geee!! sometimes or many times I'm so jealous.. I started to believe that there is no one out there for me HELP! I'm prob the problem.

You know I thought the same thing, I'd even stopped looking. I just happened to go on Plentyoffish one day because I had a message (from a loser lol) and noticed a cute guy in my matches...I took a chance and messaged him, and we'll be together 4 months on the 17th! I'd been single for years before this, I just had to wait for the right time to find the right guy. I took a couple years and focussed on me and now I can focus on us. Don't fret, you'll find someone. Work on loving yourself for now, then you will find someone to love :drinker:

getitamb

My Great Grandmother used to say there is a lid for every pot... There is someone out there for you!.

That's a cute saying/

miss_amy

so many people settle! it's ridiculous!

a little about me: i'm 25 and have always been the girl with a lot of guy friends... eternally single (or so it feels like at times), but overall pretty happy (everyone has their moments of loneliness though). i've never let a guy hold me back from being me and doing things i want to do. i however, have SO MANY friends who settle. guys who are dating b****es who are nothing but drama but yet stay with them even when they are unhappy. girls who date guys who are too controlling or play mind games. the list goes on and on. it makes me really sad to see how many people settle because they don't wanna be alone. last week i overheard a guy friend tell another guy friend that he "can't do any better" than the girl he's dating (who is not a nice girl, to put it simply). this guy is such a great catch too. he can definitely do 100x better. i have quite a few other stories that are similar to this. it's sad.

i think ultimately it comes down to confidence in yourself. so many people carry scars from past relationships or past rejections that they settle for less than what they deserve. i for one refuse to do so. i have awesome friends and a great family. i know when the time is right, love will find me. to anyone who feels lonely, just remember to love yourself first! don't settle!!.

katkins3

Stop looking. You'll meet someone the minute you're not looking to meet someone. And bars are the worst place to meet quality people.

Best of luck to you all.

What he wrote.
As soon as you get busy with some other aspect of your life, someone turns up. Maybe focusing on something else makes us more interesting people.
So, get a hobby, join a club, take a course, join a gym, get active at church, volunteer for a charity, learn a new language, etc.