Having real problems getting motivated!

adnorri

I really want to lose weight and I know that I need to not only to be healthier but also to feel better about myself, but I am having real problems getting motivated. When I think about eating right and giving up all the bad foods that I love I feel as if someone is taking my best friend away from me. I know everyone says to just eat everything in moderation but it is like my moderation switch is broken and I ALWAYS go way over board. Can someone please identify with me and give me some suggestions on how I can work this out! I would appreciate any advice

bluecollarfrench

I am right there with you, I am just getting started as well. Do you have an accountability partner that can help with the weight loss?

Elizabeth_C34

What about a reward system? Each day, if you are under your calorie goal for the day, treat yourself to something. It can be a movie, maybe some extra special private time with your significant other (wink wink nudge nudge), something you like that isn't food. Eventually, make it weekly goals, then monthly until it becomes a habit.

iwantniceabs

I can definitely identify with you, friend! I'm certainly not an expert, but some things that helped me...

- I found or created new hobbies - if I was keeping myself busy, I wasn't eating....I'm learning to play the guitar, and I like to paint.
- Start telling yourself that food is for energy...I make challenges like "Today, I am going to be under calories, but get all of my protein in" - that way I would plan healthy, protein packed meals, which would keep me feeling full all day.
- Set lots of little goals...I mean, teenie tiny - Once you lose 2 lbs, get a new shirt, or go to a new movie or something...once you start meeting all the tiny goals, you will be able to look back and realize just how possible meeting your goals is, and then you can set bigger ones. And they don't all have to be weight, but can be centered around being healthy...such as, do a 5k, or go to 6 new classes at the gym, or walk 20 miles in a week or something.

I hope some of that was helpful~ Good luck!

kimberly130

Feel free to join my Jillian 30 day challenge! the challenges keep you going and the friendly competition makes you work even when you dont want to. This time of year keeps me in bed and doing nothing, so i decided to start the challenge. Friend me if youd like to join!
here is the link to the spreadsheet and to find out the info first check out my forum!

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Ag81kGsbxlYNdHd4MVhFTUFFbEFBS3VYTXdhOFpYR1E&hl=en_US#gid=0

KazziaLlewellynn

I sometimes have that problem, but I've started looking for healthier versions of what I like. And I bought a set of measuring spoons for when I can't replace it. I measure 1 serving and put the rest away, normally at the back of the fridge covered in fruit...
I like ice cream sandwiches a lot, so I get skinny cow (which taste amazing, except the peanut butter ones which I think suck,) or great value no sugar added. I honestly measure. It really helps me. I hope it helps you. Also as was said above an accountability partner helps, someone on here, maybe even someone just starting out, a buddy who's doing this too, wife, girlfriend, mother in law (in my case). I know you can do this. That you want to tells me you can. I'm rooting for you, I always accept friends who need support if you ever need a motivational person I'll be glad to help.

adnorri

I have my husband but he has always been thin so he doesnt really understand the struggles that you go through when you have to fight your weight all the time. So I guess no I really dont have one.

Sorry Im new on here so I dont really know how to do everything. This is supposed to be directed towards nickfrench

CallieDerenthal

when i first realized i needed to lose weight i felt the same, like i was going to have to give up a huge part of who i was if i gave up all the junk food. my whole life i had turned to food for everything... when i was happy, i wanted to celebrate with food, when i was sad i turned to food for comfort, i ate out of boredom, i used food as a reward. starting a new lifestyle was incredibly difficult at first! but slowly i started to realize that food was not a friend. eventually, i started to see all that junk food as more of an enemy than a friend. once i started eating healthier foods (still treating myself on occasion, in moderation) and exercising i realized that i felt sooo much better! all that junk food never really made me feel any better, happier, or less bored. in fact, most of the time i felt worse (guilty, ashamed, physically uncomfortable from stuffing myself, etc) after eating an excessive amount of something i knew wasn't good for me! it takes time to change your way of thinking. my only real suggestion is that you get started, set small goals, expect minor setbacks from time to time (knowing that after a setback you will get back on track again asap), and be patient. it takes time but you will get to the point where you would much rather make the healthy choices than the unhealthy ones! best of luck

thebeadinggoddess

I really understand how you feel. I really dont eat much at all during the day but at night I eat enough to feed 2 grown men. I know it isnt healthy, but I have some stomach issues and for some reason I eat better at night. Anyway, I have recently started working on portion control which is hard for me. When i cook dinner I make enough to have left overs for 2 nights but instead of saving it it gets eaten so I have started buying marie callender tv dinners under 500 calories. They are really good and they are proportioned just right. I try to eat a salad and a full glass of water before I eat so I do not feel hunger after. It seems to be working so far so I joined here so I could keep a better track of what I do.

DrPepperLeigh74

Just take it one day at a time and try to incorporate some exercise in each day. I started out with walking a little each day. I found when I started seeing things add up in my diary calorie wise I could not believe what I had been eating. Also, I think the biggest motivation for me is seeing the weight continue to come off each week and knowing that if I go back to eating the way I used to that I will have to start over again helps me to stay on track. Give it a few weeks and don't completely deprive yourself of the things you love, try to come up with a healthier version or eat it but stay within your calorie range for the day and take a walk to offset your treat. I also found it helpful, as moderation is not my thing to measure stuff or just eat your meals off small plates. I use one of my children's small plates and you can't help but put smaller portions on there. I hope that helps Best of luck to you

KazziaLlewellynn

Well I don't live near you but I'll gladly volunteer to help. I have my food diary public so you're welcome to check it out.

Also, you can win that battle. I'm doing it one small slow step at a time, and by no means have I given everything up. I still eat chocolate, caramels, that kind of thing. But I measure it all, and I know my friends on here will read my diary and say "honey you've have been okay but for....insert random thing I ate too much of. But I know that tomorrow you'll be right back on track! You can do it!" It helps to have positive people helping you.

mangorabbit

I totally understand the 'everything in moderation' idea in my head, but frankly, I came to realize there are some things that I just had to give up altogether. Logically knowing that moderation is key, is not the same as taking my hand out of the HUGE bag of roasted nuts, or stopping after a few pieces of cheese covered anything!

I, like you, seem to find myself at the all-or-nothing extremes when it comes to some of those oh so yummy treats. So I sucked it up, gave them up entirely, and I found that after a while (of internal whining and self-pity) I can say no without feeling so bad, or even (on rare occasion) eat small amounts of those foods without totally losing it. (Usually I try to do that with others around/at a friends house where any leftovers are not lurking in my pantry later!)

I know it is not the rosy answer, but I guess you have to find what works for you and find a way to take on those big obstacles. Like others have said, find other things to do with your time that will occupy yourself - and perhaps ponder why giving up some foods feels like a fairly major emotional loss? Or not, I don't know anything about anything.

Good luck, I am cheering for you! ^_^

Articeluvsmemphis

Taking it one pain-staking day at a time. But really the journey isn't that bad. But the key issue to weight-loss and better health is that it is a journey, implying that it will take longer than a couple months. at the rate I'm going, for me, I'm looking at another yeah until I get to my goal weight. I've been at it for the last 7months (8 this month). when I think about what motivated me, seeing 300pounds and tighter clothes. Exercising wasn't that bad for me because it was something i enjoyed, but oh my, I started to get into workouts that were far beyond my reach, but I stuck with them. I was lucky and for a little while I had a friend to challenge me and help me stay on track. I credit her with getting me to drink more water and eat salads {this is now habit} I looked at my progress, and make sure I love myself every step of the way. The weeks i gain, and the weeks I loose. I make sure I recognize my non-scale successes such as better fitting clothes, being able to do more in my workouts, realizing that I am making better eating choices, etc. I could go on and on, but truly it has to be something you think about all the time, even when you get off track. it'll be with me forever and think about how you'll feel when you're done and ready to maintain? life will be very grand, good luck . . .

mangorabbit

Re: Message to nickfrench...

If you click on a person's username it will take you to their profile, and give you a 'send message' button if you are trying to respond to just one individual and not on the thread. ^_^

adnorri

when i first realized i needed to lose weight i felt the same, like i was going to have to give up a huge part of who i was if i gave up all the junk food. my whole life i had turned to food for everything... when i was happy, i wanted to celebrate with food, when i was sad i turned to food for comfort, i ate out of boredom, i used food as a reward. starting a new lifestyle was incredibly difficult at first! but slowly i started to realize that food was not a friend. eventually, i started to see all that junk food as more of an enemy than a friend. once i started eating healthier foods (still treating myself on occasion, in moderation) and exercising i realized that i felt sooo much better! all that junk food never really made me feel any better, happier, or less bored. in fact, most of the time i felt worse (guilty, ashamed, physically uncomfortable from stuffing myself, etc) after eating an excessive amount of something i knew wasn't good for me! it takes time to change your way of thinking. my only real suggestion is that you get started, set small goals, expect minor setbacks from time to time (knowing that after a setback you will get back on track again asap), and be patient. it takes time but you will get to the point where you would much rather make the healthy choices than the unhealthy ones! best of luck

Thanks! The problem is that I have done this several times. I have lost weight and then gained and then lost again and gained even more back. I cant seem to maintain because I always go back to my old "frienemy" food. I do feel better and happier and then for some reason I end up getting off track and gaining it all back. Its like as soon as I reach my goal I think thank goodness I can eat again! And losing weight doesnt really work that way unfortunately So I am once again starting over and hoping to find a way to keep it off this time FOR GOOD!

Nic620

I know where your coming from! "Moderation" was/is not in my vocabulary! It's something I just have to check myself on. If I open my favorite bag of cookies I know eating one or two won't be good I'll want the whole row. It's horrible. One thing that has been a huge distraction for me is actully this site lol. Since I joined I know I'm more conscious of how much I eat and what because I don't want to be over my allowance and I've even been eating something like my chicken last night and I decided I didn't need the whole piece and cut half off so I could have more calories later if I needed for a treat or something if I choosed. I measure out things so I can get a clue to what portions are. It's funny too because I just noticed I don't need to eat as much as I use to. I don't believe in depriving yourself. Give your self a mini challenge. Once you know you can do something small it'll pump you up for the next one and the next. I know I love trying to keep myself under my calories goals. That's a big challenge right there that really pumps you up when you complete your log at night! Even before I was adding exercise regularly it was a confidant booster to know I could do something like that-stick to a limit to check myself which how much I eat. Hope my rambling helps lol. Good luck!

adnorri

I really appreciate all of you! This is the first time I have posted on a weight loss site before and Im hoping that people that have been in the same place that I am right now can keep me motivated and help me to change my life. I want to be healthy for myself and for my son. I dont want him to struggle the way that I have. He is only 2 but children really pick up on the things that you do. I want him to see his mommy as someone who is strong and confident (sadly something that I have never been). I really need to work on my self esteem and hope that losing weight will help me with that.

mochaphobic

I hear ya. I have tried for years to lose my weight and every time I'd start, I'd quit right away from feeling deprived. It's hard to change that mindset for me! This time I'm emotionally in a better place. I don't feel as if I'm being punished but rather making choices. I am still not making all the best choices but once I calculated out the pieces of pizza I was eating and saw the calories, fat and other stuff in it, it's much easier for me to skip it or have a tiny piece when my kids choose it for dinner. With 5 kids who love pizza, tacos, cheeseburgers and fries, chips, chicken nuggets, etc. I am challenged to find better choices but feel so much better when I do eat well that it's easier for me. I also find that I have to log in every day, every meal and every snack even if I don't feel like doing it.
Being obese according to the dr's office, having high blood pressure, cholesterol problems and being borderline diabetic didn't motivate me much at all. The real jumpstart for me was seeing that my mom, who's been overweight or slightly obese since she had kids, lost a ton of weight this past year and was smaller than me by probably 30 pounds. If she can do it in her 60's then I figured I should be able to do it too.
(Of course, if I'm going to take it all off and *keep* it off, I have to exercise or eat like a bird. Since I love food and don't want to live on 1200 calories a day, I am going to have to find a physical activity that I enjoy and can do year round, even in a blizzard. LOL! )

KazziaLlewellynn

Your children will also thank you when they are older for choosing healthier meals now. Trust me.

egdanger1

When I was first introduced to MFP I told myself that there was no way H - E -double hockey sticks that I was going to stay within 1600 calories a day. I LOVED food, mostly bad, too much. But I resigned myself to give it a try. My progression:

-after logging in on several days I challenged myself to have a few calories left over at the end of the day.

-it was HARD in the beginning, but I had a competition going on with myself. Everytime I was about to put something to my lips that I did not need, the first thing that came to my mind was " I cant eat this, I won't have any calories left over". So I put it down and got an apple or some peanut butter.

- Well, I got some MFP friends. I started seeing that they were logging food under their calorie goals. So, there you go, I had someone else to compete with (silently, they did not know). Now, it was getting addictive.

- I always worked out, but after I had a child and I slacked up a little bit. Well, my friends were logging their exercise, so I just had to keep up. So I am now exercising like I did before the pregnancy, which was over 4 years ago.

- What started as a little competition with myself and then with my MFP friends, has turned into healthier eating choices. And I have trained my stomach (it that is even possible) to be satisfied with less.

In a nutshell, sometimes the motivation has to come from within and somethimes a little competitveness will help greatly. Plus I wanted to look good naked in the mirror, LOL.