disapointed in this site

daisy0107

Congratulations on getting married. :smooched: :smooched: I to feel the same way. I have been asking to join one of the weight loss teams. I messaged they girl who is running last Thursday and still no respond. I hope after this post everything goes well for you. Good luck on your weight loss journey. Hope you stick around

Thamber

aww AmyNVegas..thank you for the support ..I was a bit concerned about posting that because I was feeling a little heated lol...

Wolfena

The OP hasn't replied back here in her own thread yet.... even considering the bounty of responses.

She says she's annoyed at the lack of response to HER threads - yet has only 7 posts of her own. I think she was just being a bit paranoid - I don't think her picture has anything to do with how people would respond to her.

I'd not put too much worry into this.

mrhappy

This is one of the reasons I stopped coming on the message board and posting. I use to ask questions that were related to eating, exercise...ect! But it seem liked if you weren't playing around nobody would respond. It got boring and became a waste of time to even post anything. I still read posts, but very rarely comment or start new posts.
Best of luck to you, Kelly

Ahh Kelly......:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: please dip your toes back in and begin posting again!:flowerforyou: I'm so sorry you felt that way and the it seemed that way, I do know EXACTLY what you mean. I am a misfit here to the 'in crowd' but it's gotten to be ok, because frankly I'd much rather have real friends than those who run hot and cold.

I have found I had to make my own way...it's not been easy, I was easy prey for those on the board that were feeling they ran the place and were...well, less than kind but I've decided that what really matters most is how I feel about myself not strangers on here I'll never meet.

Would you like to chat?:happy: I am more than happy to hang out and get to know you, It's NO FUN to feel you are unheard on a message board most especially a supportive one, geesh what a crummy feeling.

I've really had to dig my heels in to even decide to stay but here I am, pushed around a bit, poked at yet I still stick around because the folks that have done that to me and still sometimes do simple don't matter to me, we reap what we sow in life. My buddy Marla told me, forget THEM...they don't count, they are unkind stuck up ppl that every message board has, internet trolls simply trying to get a rise to get attention on themselves....

I guess I thought this place was different too, but this is the internet after all:noway: ...silly naive me for thinking MFP would be full of ALL kind folks. There are many many giving, kind, motivating and inspiring ppl here...but there are also the others who anyone here for even a bit of time will not be able to miss, I think from the sounds of it, you've already run across the players.

Steer clear of them and you will succeed here and make some wonderful true friends. I found I cared to much what others thought of me, oops, my bad. It's really us and how we feel within ourselves. I have to say I have learned SO much even in the last week on what really matters here. It's me and my walk of health, my own journey, that's the most important thing. MFP is simply a tool we may all use to get results.

Please try once again, I am sorry I'm not sure I can say I saw your post, if I see a post of new person I am always greeting and welcoming if I am online at the time. :flowerforyou: I was welcomed and I wish to pay it forward and make others feel comfy when they arrive.

Here's to your journey being a postive successful one Kelly:flowerforyou:

FC

Ahh, thank you for speaking up FC; I haven't really had any bad experiences (on this site!) but you're right - its the internet and its open, so enough said.

Kelly - you keep giving us a try girl. Whatever your fitness goals are, someone on this site will help motivate, guide, support & cheer you on. Don't even bother with the ones who want to question your goals. Life is too short (take it from an old geek) to mess around with negative people. You go girl!!!

:happy: :laugh: :glasses:

akb2006

I think a lot of the comments stem from having that picture up there. When i see that picture i feel sick becuase i dont see that as a girl who should be on here to lose weight so when you say you need to lose weight and I see that visiual it churns my stomache sadly thinking of all of those with eating disorders or who no matter what they look like are never good enough in their eyes.

i think if you took that picture down and put up a more recent one or no picture you'd have better feedback from others. its hard to identify or be in the same boat as someone who is 40-50 lbs over weight when they look at a picture like that. I'm new to this site too but the few ladies who i've talked to are extremely supportive. Change your outlook and you'll see that too!

dewpearl

I think a lot of the comments stem from having that picture up there. When i see that picture i feel sick becuase i dont see that as a girl who should be on here to lose weight so when you say you need to lose weight and I see that visiual it churns my stomache sadly thinking of all of those with eating disorders or who no matter what they look like are never good enough in their eyes.

I remember a girl using a pic of Adriana Lima as her profile pic. And more of us said "girl, if you look like that, you don't need to lose weight". Then she said "this isn't me! this is my inspiration".

And FC had this hot sporty lady as a profile pic. Maybe this is her on the inside, maybe this is inspirational for her, maybe she is telling us "judge me by what I say, not by my profile pic. Or else, I am what I am inside, not my looks".

I think it's good to have something visual to sort of get the idea who you're talking to. I was long time uncomfortable with uploading my pics, until I realized that as curious as I am to see others, they might know who are they also talking to.

As for the first post not being answered - I also felt frustrated in the beginning and also have posts with 3 answers only. Recent posts hop up in the list and the older ones shift on pages noone bothers to/knows hot toread, unless they've hooked them somehow. So... it just happens, there no better way of judging which post is most important and should be put on top.

Just stay for a while. We need you, your experience and all the positive energy you can throw at us . And if you think you might need us, just hang on for a while :flowerforyou: ... you might like us even more.

Thamber

Personally I dont judge on the pictures. I go and read the profile. She said that she used to be fit and then had put on weight so I figured that the pic was inspiration. If you have a doubt about someone who you think has an ED I think it is best to ask for current height and weight instead of making a snap judgement.


If you feel sick seeing the picture then maybe you should read a bit more and talk to the person first before jumping to conclusions.

Fitness_Chick

:flowerforyou: It is too bad that you feel that you have to post a picture like that to get attention. I have lots of pictures similar to yours of when I use to model but with out the muscle just the body:laugh:
this is why I do not display my picture. I would like MFP friends to get to know me for me. I like you have a lot to offer perhaps not in the same way as you but in other ways.

I did not read your post and maybe not everybody saw it, but as far as being a compulsive eater I can give you information and perhaps some encouragment in that area. I use to be a compulsive spender so I bought the book to help me understand why I was doing it. Send me a message and let me know how I can help you. :flowerforyou:

'

Wow, we are such judgers on this site, I'm most especially SHOCKED at some of the particular folks on this thread that feel the need to cut down a brand new person when some of you have opened up your souls lately and ask for help and NOONE has cut you down on your own threads...can't we simply pay forward the same in kind that we were given ourselves when we were trying to reach out???:noway: :ohwell: ), I'm almost ashamed to be apart of this place sometimes.

Who are WE to assume someone placed a certain photo of themselves or any other photo to get attention??????????????????????????? How about instead thinking it might be used by us for inspiration?

My Dear friend Dew shared I had some very cool Yoga pictures and a girl dressed in white jumpin in the air..it gave me a sense she had found freedom & I was inspired by that..so that's why it was on my AV (I can't tell you how many unkind remarks and PM's I received from having it up, and it was THE VERY FIRST DAY HERE ON MFP for me, imagine how I felt , so far all I've heard with Tigger up is funny sweet comments...now that's not saying much about us using photo's for inspiration is it?) and the yoga pics were there because I do yoga and I didn't have any before pics because I never allowed anyone to take any of me, I was to ashamed. This place sometimes just makes me wanna vomit how much we all pick at what we think this person or that person is doing...... aren't we here for one another??? Isn't that really what a motivation forum is for? Am I wrong, please tell if I am misunderstanding what Mike began here....I though this was a place to come to share our good and bad and sad times, to be cheered on and then as we learn we can pay it forward to others so they to can learn.

I was choicing not to get on the boards today and to simply use it to log and then I decided to pop in and see if there were any new folks to welcome to the site (my bad, I should have listened to my gut instinct). Then I got lovely message from the poster of this original thread (for the new person already judging the original poster..yes, she come back to read and contact some of us that shared...was sad when I read what that poster had written about the original poster as well )

Oh sheesh enough of this, I can already see the nasty PM's stackin up in my box.

I just was surprised when I looked at my topics and saw all this... makes me quite sad for all of us

FC:brokenheart:

Fitness_Chick

Personally I dont judge on the pictures. I go and read the profile. She said that she used to be fit and then had put on weight so I figured that the pic was inspiration. If you have a doubt about someone who you think has an ED I think it is best to ask for current height and weight instead of making a snap judgement.


If you feel sick seeing the picture then maybe you should read a bit more and talk to the person first before jumping to conclusions.

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: Thank you Suldrun for opening up and posting, I NEVER have looked at a photo and judged by that....why would WE (folks that come here not to be judged but to get healthier, what I once thought was a safe place to be) judge another for their looks, human nature? Perhaps at times but on this forum? ppl are definitely showing their true colors now....:brokenheart:

Thanks again Suldrun for saying outloud what I bet many wanted to posted but chose instead not too out of fear of not running with the pack....

FC

Fitness_Chick

I think a lot of the comments stem from having that picture up there. When i see that picture i feel sick becuase i dont see that as a girl who should be on here to lose weight so when you say you need to lose weight and I see that visiual it churns my stomache sadly thinking of all of those with eating disorders or who no matter what they look like are never good enough in their eyes.

I remember a girl using a pic of Adriana Lima as her profile pic. And more of us said "girl, if you look like that, you don't need to lose weight". Then she said "this isn't me! this is my inspiration".

And FC had this hot sporty lady as a profile pic. Maybe this is her on the inside, maybe this is inspirational for her, maybe she is telling us "judge me by what I say, not by my profile pic. Or else, I am what I am inside, not my looks".

I think it's good to have something visual to sort of get the idea who you're talking to. I was long time uncomfortable with uploading my pics, until I realized that as curious as I am to see others, they might know who are they also talking to.

As for the first post not being answered - I also felt frustrated in the beginning and also have posts with 3 answers only. Recent posts hop up in the list and the older ones shift on pages noone bothers to/knows hot toread, unless they've hooked them somehow. So... it just happens, there no better way of judging which post is most important and should be put on top.

Just stay for a while. We need you, your experience and all the positive energy you can throw at us . And if you think you might need us, just hang on for a while :flowerforyou: ... you might like us even more.

Thank You Dew for having such a beautiful heart and for being such a dear friend:flowerforyou:

Fitness_Chick

I think a lot of the comments stem from having that picture up there. When i see that picture i feel sick becuase i dont see that as a girl who should be on here to lose weight so when you say you need to lose weight and I see that visiual it churns my stomache sadly thinking of all of those with eating disorders or who no matter what they look like are never good enough in their eyes.

i think if you took that picture down and put up a more recent one or no picture you'd have better feedback from others. its hard to identify or be in the same boat as someone who is 40-50 lbs over weight when they look at a picture like that. I'm new to this site too but the few ladies who i've talked to are extremely supportive. Change your outlook and you'll see that too!

Well I find the picture beautiful, and inspiring, it IS a contest photo afterall and if some took time to actually READ the profile of us other members they might understand the person just a wee bit better than simply doing what the rest of this world does by judging simply by a photo:brokenheart:

Well I for one will NEVER ever put my photos up again...not to be judged here that is for sure! I can walk down the street and be judged just as harshly as we are judging one another on here. I feel very sad for each of us this day that's it come to this here:brokenheart: :huh: :noway: :sick:

Thamber

Thank you Fitness Chick for the support....I get a bit hot uder the collor lol...Your posts have been wonderful..

I hope the OP stays on and ignores the bad and takes the good from this site..

crystal_sapphire

i really don't think your picture had to do with anything. to be honest, i can see why you're upset, but at the same time, not everyone is going to comment on every single post. Just yesterday I posted something and got no replies. That's ok, it wasn't something a lot of people could relate to anyway so I was only expecting one or two at most.

i also noticed you have not replied to anyone's nice, kind comments. We aren't a drama site.

Carl01

I guess I am a bit confused as I didn`t sense in the original post any suggestion that people had been unkind or judgemental,not sure how that has worked its way in.
I took it that there was some misunderstandings from what she had posted on other threads and hope that can be worked out in the future.

If I am wrong on that interpretation and anyone did say nasty things to her or about her in other threads then that is where one needs to report it so it can be dealt with.

I have been on numerous forums and the Internet is much like real life in that people need time to get to know each other,find things of common interest and make friends.

Hopefully that will happen and it will be a pleasant place for you here.
I know I have seen a lot of care and support from everyone so please give it a chance.

elliott062907

OK Guys, let's stop the drama. Nothing to apologize for. We have welcomed her and all as usual and we can't please everyone. She being so new as of this month, I am sure if she stays on, she will be happier....

I hope she stays and has a good time like most of us do.

Story sharing, accomplishments, set backs and laughs.......

sweetassurance

I guess I need to change my profile picture to have someone comment on anything I post.....THIS IS NOT WHAT I LOOK LIKE ANYMORE PEOPLE!!!!!!

It is too bad that you feel that you have to post a picture like that to get attention. I have lots of pictures similar to yours of when I use to model but with out the muscle just the body
this is why I do not display my picture. I would like MFP friends to get to know me for me. I like you have a lot to offer perhaps not in the same way as you but in other ways.

I did not read your post and maybe not everybody saw it, but as far as being a compulsive eater I can give you information and perhaps some encouragment in that area. I use to be a compulsive spender so I bought the book to help me understand why I was doing it. Send me a message and let me know how I can help you. ...

I responded to your post as away to sympathize with you and offer support. If I offend you or any of MFP friends by this then I apologize it was not my attention. :noway: Perhaps this is the reason some people do not respond to prevent misunderstanding.

However, there is no hurt feelings form my part and I hope there is not in yours. :flowerforyou: We are all here for the same reason. We all have struggles that are different or perhaps some in the same way but this is one of the tings I Love about this site that we are here for one another to pull each other through. Therefore if I can help in any way please let me know.

healthychic

I am sorry that people on here haven't been treating you like they should! I myself am surprised because people on here are normally sooo nice and respectful!!!:noway: I know how you feel though because when I started going on here a few people disrespected me and said that I looked fine the way I was when clearly my profile said that I joined mostly to be a HEALTHIER person, not to "look good". Although thats a plus:laugh: Anyways, I am here for you and respect you.

-Danielle

MOMOFTWO29

Hi, I have only been on this site since New Years day, and I have found it very supportive and helpful. I want to wish you congrats on your upcoming wedding and much success on your weight loss.

cmriverside

argh