Healthy living = Bad parenting

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  • RachelJE
    RachelJE Posts: 172
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    Kids are so fragile, and you really have to be careful the way you word things. I have put some restrictions on what my kids eat, but I would never say to them "its so you won't be overweight like me someday." You are setting her up for failure saying that. She will constantly be worried about being overweight when ALL SHE NEEDS TO BE CONCERNED WITH IS BEING HEALTHY. Even if that's what I'm thinking in the back of my mind, I would never say "don't want you to be overweight". Unless you raise your daughter in a CAVE, I'm sure she is judging herself constantly against images she sees in magazines and on TV. These air-brushed fakes are impossible goals to live up to. If you create a healthy environment, eat well and encourage your kids to do the same, exercise and encourage your kids to do the same, then you will all become healthy. But if I was standing there, I likely would have given you a look too because kids take one sentence like that and can get totally spun out about it & end up starving over it. She will be obsessed with pleasing you and living up to this completely unrealistic image set forth by the media. I'm just asking you to be careful and gentle about how you word things. That's just my opinion. (I was a youth pastor for 10 years and now have a 2, 4 and 24 year old).
  • Jemmuno
    Jemmuno Posts: 413 Member
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    I feel like I need to say this when I was in third grade my step mother put me on the slim fast diet when I went to see my father for the summer and she completly controlled my food intake while everyone was have two or three pieces of people I could only have one piece with an apple at the age of 10, yes I was probably a little overweight for my age, but not obese. So, just be careful about how your teaching healthy living. I'm sure your not going to put your step daughter on a specific diet, it sounds to me like its a whole family change not wanting to buy junk food for the family which I think is great.
  • SailingMike
    SailingMike Posts: 237 Member
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    well my little ones don't care about junk food really because they love fruits and veggies, it was more for my 14 yr old step daughter and myself that I was wanting to get the junk food out of the house. We both get bored and just eat junk all day and she agreed that she didn't want to eat like that anymore either, it just so happened my sisters heard us talking about what I was going to do . My kids dont have a problem with it , if they ever did I wouldn't deny them anything in moderation but its easier if i'm not buying it every time we go shopping just bc my mind is set to thinking it's a necessity when it really isn't

    You are a GREAT mom, with a GREAT attitude! Your kids will grow up and do very well.
  • SailingMike
    SailingMike Posts: 237 Member
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    I feel like I need to say this when I was in third grade my step mother put me on the slim fast diet when I went to see my father for the summer and she completly controlled my food intake while everyone was have two or three pieces of people I could only have one piece with an apple at the age of 10, yes I was probably a little overweight for my age, but not obese. So, just be careful about how your teaching healthy living. I'm sure your not going to put your step daughter on a specific diet, it sounds to me like its a whole family change not wanting to buy junk food for the family which I think is great.

    YIKES! I am SO sorry you were treated that way. Can i slap her for you? I really want to!
  • Jemmuno
    Jemmuno Posts: 413 Member
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    That should say pizza. sry pulling a 20hr shift.
  • 99Tinkerbell
    99Tinkerbell Posts: 384
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    Sounds like you are doing the right thing and for some reason your sisters don't agree. Well that's on them and don't let it bother you. You run your house the way you want and let them do the same. It's just a shame they don't see they aren't helping their children by exhibiting poor eating habits. Maybe you could introduce them to this site.
  • fordster99
    fordster99 Posts: 181 Member
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    You know I came from the other side of the fence where we ate a lot of snacks and junk food. We ate candy, cookies and all of that and I rarely remember a time where we had apples, oranges or any other healthy snack available. As you can imagine, I developed a weight problem. My mother never said anything about my weight but I was told at a young age by a doctor I need to lose weight and I was made fun of repeatedly for that as well. I had a low self esteem during my teenage years and I have had a horrible relationship with food. With that said, I would not let your overweight sisters make you feel bad for doing what is right. I would sit down and gently discuss the situation. I would explain to your daughter that you are trying to eat healthier and want her to be the healthiest person she can be instead of making it about her weight. Your sisters are not doing their children any favors by letting their kids eat whatever they want, whenever they want. Believe me, I know. I am almost 40 and I still have issues. If your step daughter complains or has issues then maybe make a scheduled time through the week that you will go to the local ice cream shop or something. Good luck. You are doing the right thing.
  • ahsongbird
    ahsongbird Posts: 712 Member
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    Kids are so fragile, and you really have to be careful the way you word things. I have put some restrictions on what my kids eat, but I would never say to them "its so you won't be overweight like me someday." You are setting her up for failure saying that. She will constantly be worried about being overweight when ALL SHE NEEDS TO BE CONCERNED WITH IS BEING HEALTHY. Even if that's what I'm thinking in the back of my mind, I would never say "don't want you to be overweight". Unless you raise your daughter in a CAVE, I'm sure she is judging herself constantly against images she sees in magazines and on TV. These air-brushed fakes are impossible goals to live up to. If you create a healthy environment, eat well and encourage your kids to do the same, exercise and encourage your kids to do the same, then you will all become healthy. But if I was standing there, I likely would have given you a look too because kids take one sentence like that and can get totally spun out about it & end up starving over it. She will be obsessed with pleasing you and living up to this completely unrealistic image set forth by the media. I'm just asking you to be careful and gentle about how you word things. That's just my opinion. (I was a youth pastor for 10 years and now have a 2, 4 and 24 year old).
    it wasn't like it sounds, we have discussed our health numerous times, when I say overweight she knows what I'm implying bc we have discussed the struggles that come with being overweight aka unhealthy and she has seen me fight to get my health back. She is a confident girl and when I talk about being overweight it is about the inability to live life to the fullest, the pains and the health risks, not about looks.
  • ahsongbird
    ahsongbird Posts: 712 Member
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    That should say pizza. sry pulling a 20hr shift.

    I liked it better the first time u wrote it hahaha "slices of people" lmaooo
  • ahsongbird
    ahsongbird Posts: 712 Member
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    I say as long as you make it the norm, and not a big deal, and teach by example, they will be fine. If you're obsessive about it, that is a different story.

    Balance is the key to everything.

    Also, I've learned that overweight people lash out out of guilt for not taking care of themselves, so don't sweat it, do what is right for your own family, and tell your kids you love them. They'll be fine.
    oh trust me, I have too many kids and too much to do to be obsessive about anything lol
  • vs_shine
    vs_shine Posts: 1,322 Member
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    I think having snacks in moderation are okay... the trick is not to have your pantry loaded with them :-) one snack a day isn't so bad :-) ...but that's really unfortunate how unsupportive your sisters were...but you can't control them....it sounds like you have fine intentions :-) maybe find some worksheets on healthy meal plans and make it fun for your kids to find new veggies they like...and dont take it so seriously when they don't like a certain kind......my dietician says it takes 20 introductions of a new food for your body to start liking it...especially if your a kid and spinach doesn't look as yummy as a popsicle... i also know that the more colorful your meals are..the healthier they are...so maybe when you go grocery shopping...talk about colors or something...and make it like a game to eat a food that's purple or something...or find really good recipes :-) that would be fun to cook with your kids (if they are old enough of course)
  • vs_shine
    vs_shine Posts: 1,322 Member
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    also...try to get them to drink water and milk...cuz gatorade and sweet juices can be pretty bad...and people don't think about it... :-) and don't forget to play outside with them :-) if they eat sweets and then go run and get a stomach ache...they'l learn their lesson after a while lol
  • ahsongbird
    ahsongbird Posts: 712 Member
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    also...try to get them to drink water and milk...cuz gatorade and sweet juices can be pretty bad...and people don't think about it... :-) and don't forget to play outside with them :-) if they eat sweets and then go run and get a stomach ache...they'l learn their lesson after a while lol
    my kids don't drink anything very bad, it usually is milk ,water or natural juices, but occasionally we do have to go cheap and grab some kool aid lol . We go out back and play every evening before dinner so they can run off their energy, if they r not tuckered out by the time dinner is ready we have races until they r haha, then they have run off their energy, they get their bellies full , they take warm baths and r ready for sleep :)

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