New relationships

kitinboots

i heard you weren't suppose to start dating when on a diet, but this isn't a diet, it's just making better choices.
Anyway, I got back together with an ex about a week ago (another reason I thought all would be fine, the fact he's an ex) and I'm finding it almost impossible to stay on track. We've been eating out or cooking together, he's always bringing food and snacks round to mine, and we go for drinks too.

Has anyone else been through this? What did you do to get back on track without coming across as a really fussy eater/high maintenance?

Now I'm trying to make more of a conscious effort again, and have been to buy healthier snacks for film night. I've swapped regular coke for zero, chips and dip for nuts, sweets and chocolate for dried fruit and nut (although I got cola bottles for him) and will make hummus and crudités. There's also fruit and popcorn kernels on hand.
So that's one obstacle I feel that I've tackled - although it remains to be seen if I succeed in my efforts.

MikeSEA

Making better choices about your food doesn't make you a fussy eater. If you talk about it like a rational person, then there's no reason he should think any less of you. If he still thinks less of you, then it's his loss.

mikeyrp

Good luck.

I would go for the portion control option - just get your own bowl (or whatever) of whatever you decide to eat with the number of calories you are prepared to eat in it. Any extras get put away for next time.

Drinking is harder - start drinking gin and slimline tonic or similar, and again, decide how many before the night starts,

obeseguy

yes:drinker: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

_GlaDOS_

Someone who did not support me in my efforts to be healthy would simply not have the opportunity to date me.

And if someone I was currently dating did not support me, well then it would be time to have a talk with that person. Communication in relationships tends to work pretty well, I find.

:flowerforyou:

mikeyrp

Also - include him in the process - I would like to feel engaged in this kind of thing.

A_New_Horizon

It isn't easy. I can tell you from personal experience. I have recently started dating someone about 2 weeks ago, but I have been on the lifestyle change for over a year now. He knew it going into it, so he helps me too. We do go out to eat, but I just make an effort to eat better. He knows that I only drink diet soda or water, and he isn't bothered by it. I would just be honest. My guy and I talked for 17 months before starting to date, so he knew me before I lost anything. I am getting out of a horrible marriage also, so he also knows about my low self-esteem issues as well (which he helps me with too). I would just be honest with him, and if he truely cares for you, he will understand - that is my view on it. Plus, he will help you with your healthy lifestyle. You never know - maybe he will jump on the bandwagon too.

jeepwidow01

Making better choices about your food doesn't make you a fussy eater. If you talk about it like a rational person, then there's no reason he should think any less of you. If he still thinks less of you, then it's his loss.

Exactly! You are making these changes so you have a healthier lifestyle. If he can't support you in that effort, then what else will he not support you in?

deja_blu

Did you tell him that you are trying to lose weight and make healthier food choices and exercising? Let him know! He may not mean to "sabatoge" you but you have to be held accountable for you. I'm glad you are making adjustments now and keep it up! Try being healthy together. Go on walks together. Be active as a team.

I gained about 30 lbs being in a relationship but when I told him I was trying to do better in my eating habits, he made sure to make something/order something that would suit my diet needs. He was supportive and even became a little more active in exercising.

Everything will work out just fine. Good luck on your rekindled love!

McKayMachina

I'm talking to a chef and he says he's stoked to adapt some of his favorite recipes to fit within my calorie goal. Aww. ;p

MdmAcolyte

I vote that you talk to him about it ~ the sooner the better. Unless he's abusive, he should be receptive to listening and may even want to help you keep track of your goals.

auticus

It's a group effort. Or so I hear.

elmsallmissile

Eat what you like, just make sure you work it off in the bedroom ;-)

caveats

Whether it's a new relationship with a new guy or a renewed relationship with an ex, I think the bigger issue to tackle is the ability to be honest with each other and to trust each other to share your personal dreams and goals without fear of judgment. Without that foundation, any relationship will fail eventually.

Have a heart-to-heart talk with him and just be frank about your new healthy goals. Honestly, I don't think it's always an all-or-nothing scenario either. If he doesn't support you, ask why and help him figure out what's the obstacle on his end. If it is insecurities on his part, you can work through both of your insecurities together and grow stronger as a couple. If it's him being selfish or stubborn or bottom-line wants to keep you unhealthy so that other guys don't hit on you (or something equally as effed up that I'm not thinking of), then you can go fishing for a healthier partner in a better frame of self-esteem.

theginnyray

First of all, congrats on the new (or new ish) relationship!
Now that the honeymoon is over, and you realize that your eating habits are out of whack, it's time to get back on track. I was in your shoes. I went from never eating out, making my own healthy meals, to all of the sudden being in this awesome relationship - that included eating meals prepared by someone else or a restaurant. You get caught up because it's delicious, and usually someone else is paying!
Talk to him about it, and if you are high maintenance about your food, then so be it. If you are in this for the long haul, he's going to figure it out eventually, right? You can do it!

kitinboots

Thanks guys. I spoke with him last night and announced my return to healthy eating. I'm still gonna find this tough, but he doesn't exactly mind me staying in shape
I just have to learn to resist temptation.

ImKindOfABigDeal40

Sounds really familiar. I just got out of that same thing.