Just have to get this off my chest

AmyNVegas

:frown: I have been surprised by some comments by people on this site lately and I know we are better than this. So let's all agree to institute a very good rule my mom taught me as a kid..."If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all."

:flowerforyou: I mean I love all of the support and help I get here and I hope to get my friends and family to use the site too. This should be a haven from the cruel world outside that has battered and beaten us down until we think we are unworthy of being healthy.

Please think before you post and let's not tear each other down. This should be a place to come to relax, get things off our chest, to help fight our food issues, and a place where we can ask questions or post without being judged. There is a big difference between tough love and mean spiritedness.

to you all and please be kind to one another:smooched:

Amy:bigsmile:

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AmyNVegas

:frown: I have been surprised by some comments by people on this site lately and I know we are better than this. So let's all agree to institute a very good rule my mom taught me as a kid..."If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all."

:flowerforyou: I mean I love all of the support and help I get here and I hope to get my friends and family to use the site too. This should be a haven from the cruel world outside that has battered and beaten us down until we think we are unworthy of being healthy.

Please think before you post and let's not tear each other down. This should be a place to come to relax, get things off our chest, to help fight our food issues, and a place where we can ask questions or post without being judged. There is a big difference between tough love and mean spiritedness.

to you all and please be kind to one another:smooched:

Amy:bigsmile:

Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Food Diary

AmandaJ

I have been lucky enough not to read anything like this, but I think it is a wonderful reminder. Thank you! :flowerforyou:

crystal_sapphire

i can't say i've seen anything like this lately, but those are good thoughts.

pepamint83

im new (since tues) and have had much support and motivation but im fairly sure i know what you are refering to so well said this should be a safe place a place where we come for support and motivation to do one of the hardest things we will ever have to do in our lives so i second what you say if you have nothing nice to say then just dont say anything at all.


:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

joonieB

Thanks Amy. Your momma raised you right! Just the other day I was reading an exchange that I thought was rather combative and it made me feel bad. I love all the positive things I've read on this site. Let's not let the ugly creep in, even when we don't agree with what somebody else believes in.

AmyNVegas

Thanks all I just want everyone to feel welcome and a part of the site. Everyone has different issues and we should respect that.

Amy:bigsmile:

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Thamber

:flowerforyou: Yes I agree....I have been guilty of jumping into certain situaltions that really bothered me...next time I intend to PM my support and just report the mean post...that is if I can control myself and not get too hot under the collar about someone being treated badly :blushing:

lulubar

Amen Amy! My mom taught the same rule.... WAIT! Are you my sister?????:noway:

cmriverside

Amy and everyone.

In the forum rules (everyone read them please!) Mike has addressed all these issues. At the bottom of every post is a blue "Report Post" link. If you find an offensive post, you can report it. If there are reports, Mike will decide to lock the thread if necessary, delete the particular post, or any other action as listed in the Forum Rules.

I have been very disturbed by some of the recent posts. If you have any particular posts that are bothering you, I URGE you to use the "Report Post" link. You will not be exposed and Mike will keep your confidence. You will be given an opportunity to explain why you think the post has violated Forum Rules.

I would love to return to civil discourse. This is one tool available to us. Thank you for posting this thread.

AmyNVegas

Thanks cmr- I saw that but wasn't sure who got the report or how it worked.

lulubar I believe you are my sis at heart! We can never have too many!:flowerforyou:

Amy:bigsmile:

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FletcherChic

i have been on this site for a while and i guess i am very lucky to have never come across any negativity...do you mind if i ask what the comments were in reference to? seems to me like we are all on the same team here and i can't dream of why anybody would feel like it's okay to bash one of their own....maybe whoever was being mean was just a little hungry or cranky from being deprived of some yummy junk food (just trying to give them the benefit of the doubt :laugh: ).....but on a serious note - i agree that any mean or harassing comments should be forwarded to the site administrators....mean people suck! :mad:
:flowerforyou: big hugs to all of you nice people!!!

cmriverside

Thanks cmr- I saw that but wasn't sure who got the report or how it worked.

lulubar I believe you are my sis at heart! We can never have too many!:flowerforyou:

Amy:bigsmile:

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Yes, Amy, only the site moderator (in this case Mike) will be able to view your "Report Post" . No one else will EVER see it. So feel confident. If a post bothers you it probably bothers someone else and only Mike can remove an offensive post by a member. He is very reasonable and impartial, and I have found his responses to these things to be fair. He won't even contact you. You just click "Report Post" and a little box comes up where you choose a reason, then you can elaborate in your own words. Strictly confidential! He alone will decide the course of action. But the more "Reports" there are on a post, the more likely it is for Mike to take a good look at the post and the member who posted it.

cmriverside

i have been on this site for a while and i guess i am very lucky to have never come across any negativity...do you mind if i ask what the comments were in reference to? seems to me like we are all on the same team here and i can't dream of why anybody would feel like it's okay to bash one of their own....maybe whoever was being mean was just a little hungry or cranky from being deprived of some yummy junk food (just trying to give them the benefit of the doubt :laugh: ).....but on a serious note - i agree that any mean or harassing comments should be forwarded to the site administrators....mean people suck! :mad:
:flowerforyou: big hugs to all of you nice people!!!

We are not even supposed to refer to anyone else's posts as being a problem (not by naming the post or person). In the rules - the only recourse you have is the "Report Post." No taking shots at people in particular or pointing out any particular thread. Please read the FORUM RULES.

(Hi, January girl - no candy!)

AmyNVegas

Thanks! :flowerforyou: I think that is important for all to know. We can keep this a positive place to come and get support and share that way. No one will have to be afraid to post when they need help that way.:drinker:

Amy:bigsmile:

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Puddmuffin

Hi everyone, I'm Jan

I'm pretty new too and have so enjoyed this site. I have not come across any mean posts so far and am thankful for it. I like the support, encouragment and uplifting I get reading the posts here.
We all have struggles in differant ways, but we are here for the same reason. To have a fitness pal. :happy: Now, the last I can recall my pals didn't treat me unkind. The golden rule does apply when posting. Thanks for the reminder to all~:flowerforyou:

FletcherChic

hi CM!!!!...i think it's hilarious that you call me January Girl!:laugh:

the reason why i was asking what the negativity was in reference to was because last week there were several new people on here posting about not getting all their cals in and under eating to lose weight faster etc etc, and some people REALLY seemed to jump down their throats about that topic...of course to us oldies who have been here a while, we have discussed that topic down into the ground, but there are lots of newbies here who are confused (as it is for many of us in the beginning) and i felt bad at the responses i was reading by some of the MFP veterans...if anything, we should be mentoring the newbies so that they can be successful in their journey....anywhooo - that's my 2 cents...now i'm gonna go enjoy a nice tasty king-sized candy bar! (just kidding CM...the other January Girl!!!)

AmyNVegas

Morning all!:flowerforyou:

Amy:bigsmile:

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Shannon023

Remember too that it's impossible to read a person's intended tone.

Before reporting to Mike you might want to shoot that person a PM for clarification.

The majority of the people here are great & don't mean any harm! It's a great site! :drinker:

jackeh

Hmmmm i havent seen any such posts lately but sometimes we type things that dont come out as intended and I think that its smart to private message the person first that you are bothered by a comment or whatever.... We are all here for the same reason... and i agree with shannon that you cant read a persons tone... sometimes we read different than its intended

robertw486

cmriverside wrote: »

i have been on this site for a while and i guess i am very lucky to have never come across any negativity...do you mind if i ask what the comments were in reference to? seems to me like we are all on the same team here and i can't dream of why anybody would feel like it's okay to bash one of their own....maybe whoever was being mean was just a little hungry or cranky from being deprived of some yummy junk food (just trying to give them the benefit of the doubt :laugh: ).....but on a serious note - i agree that any mean or harassing comments should be forwarded to the site administrators....mean people suck! :mad:
:flowerforyou: big hugs to all of you nice people!!!

We are not even supposed to refer to anyone else's posts as being a problem (not by naming the post or person). In the rules - the only recourse you have is the "Report Post." No taking shots at people in particular or pointing out any particular thread. Please read the FORUM RULES.

(Hi, January girl - no candy!)

As I read the TOS rules, it would be a violation of the TOS to tell someone that there post violates TOS. Yet I see it quite a bit, and nobody reports the post. Then again, it's usually from people that tend to violate the TOS quite a bit.

I've seen forums where the report function gets abused, and I'm sure it happens some on every website. But at times, it appears that here the report function is rarely used.