I have tried so many times...and failed...

JordanGirl5

I don't want to fail again...I just want to be healthy...and healthy I am not. I have become complacent in my day to day life as far as eating and exercise go.

Making a change is going to be very hard...especially when I'm afraid of failing again...

Any tips or tricks on how to do this and make it a success would be greatly appreciated, as well as encouragement along the way...

AggieCass09

read the link in my signature...it will help you.

As for the fear of failing, think of how much better off you will be if you try and fail as opposed to you not-trying at all.

Good luck!

H_Factor

for help with motivation and to beat down the complacency creep, take a look at this:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/hmalin1/view/recipe-for-a-will-power-pill-for-help-with-the-mental-part-of-the-journey-155978

sarahi2009

I stated with little changes. You can do any drastic things and expect to be able to keep that. Add a mini challenge everyday, like drink 10 glasses of water today, or whatever. Like park farther when you go to the store. Use smaller plates when you serve food. It's the baby steps that will get you there. Also, don' t expect the weight to come off fast or overnight, they didn't come on overnight so don't expect them to come off overnight. Stay true to yourself and conscious of your decisions. It's not about cutting everything is about making good food choices 85% of the time. Good luck on your journey, stay motivated!!

Connie_TN

Yup First of all...remove FAILURE from your vocabulary today! Chalk it up to a learning experience sweetie..you have learned along the way what does't work. Try each day to impliment good food and some type of exercise and WE all can get where we are wanting to go TOGETHER. I have meet so many different types of folks here but do know one thing...We all are on the same road together to get healthy.

ninerbuff

I don't want to fail again...I just want to be healthy...and healthy I am not. I have become complacent in my day to day life as far as eating and exercise go.

Making a change is going to be very hard...especially when I'm afraid of failing again...

Any tips or tricks on how to do this and make it a success would be greatly appreciated, as well as encouragement along the way...

Failing is part of success. I doubt anyone in the world didn't fail along the way before being successful. Failure doesn't mean it's over, it means you need to figure out why you failed and not follow the path that led to it again. What's worse than failure? To not attempt to try.

Kaldrmjolka

Failure is a detour, not a dead end. You have to take baby steps, but as long as you're moving forward, EVEN IF YOU STUMBLE, you're doing great!

The trick is to not let your body get used to your exercise routines. Spice it up every once in awhile, try something new. You may just find something you love while working towards your goals. (Like I found my love of Zumba for the Wii, I look ridiculous doing it but I feel great afterwards :P )

Never punish yourself. While eating healthy if you slip up and... oh one day have a slice of pizza its ok to have a bad day every once in awhile, as long as it isn't every day!

It's all about a positive attitude and having the drive to move forward. Remember failure is a detour, you can get around it and you will come out on top. Everyone here supports you and believes in you!

H_Factor

I don't want to fail again...I just want to be healthy...and healthy I am not. I have become complacent in my day to day life as far as eating and exercise go.

Making a change is going to be very hard...especially when I'm afraid of failing again...

Any tips or tricks on how to do this and make it a success would be greatly appreciated, as well as encouragement along the way...

Failing is part of success. I doubt anyone in the world didn't fail along the way before being successful. Failure doesn't mean it's over, it means you need to figure out why you failed and not follow the path that led to it again. What's worse than failure? To not attempt to try.

well said

stubbysticks

The first thing you need to do is stop viewing yourself as a failure. Successful weight loss is 80% mental & you seem to have already decided how it's going to go by indicating you might fail again & it's going to be hard to make a change. However you think it will be, it will be. Ever hear of self-fulfilling prophecies? It applies here.

I'd suggest you rewrite the script in your head to read more like this:

I will not fail again. I am going to be healthy. I'm not there yet and I know it's because I haven't done what I need to do, but that ends today. Staying the same is going to be harder than making a change. I fear staying the same more than I fear change. I don't yet know everything I need to know to be successful, but I am willing & open to learning as much as I can about nutrition & fitness & I will NEVER STOP TRYING.

MinnieInMaine

Have you thought about why you failed in the past? I hate dwelling on the past as much as anyone but a friend of mine asked me why I fell off the bandwagon last time so I really gave it some thought and came up with a few reasons.

1) Too much deprivation - so this time I'm allowing myself more leeway and if I want chocolate (or pizza or a beer, etc) I have one even if it puts me over my calorie allotment. Three things that help to live like this and still lose weight: a) learning proper portion sizes, b) exericse to earn more calories and c) baby steps - don't try to change everything at once.

2) Not relying on myself - I put too much pressure on others to keep me motivated/accountable. I've got a great support system of friends, family and my hubby. I even have gym buddies that help keep me going. But I don't rely on them. If someone hasn't checked up on me for a while to see how I'm doing or hasn't noticed the last 20 pounds I lost or doesn't have time to go with the gym with me for a couple weeks, I DO NOT give up.
You have to do this for yourself, for your future, for your health. Not to fit into a size 2 for that special event or even to get to a certain number on the scale.

3) Don't let that emotional/comfort eating kick in! It's a hard habit to break and something I still struggle with. And what makes it worse is I don't just eat to comfort myself, I also do it to comfort others. For example, Hubby lost a good friend to cancer last year and my way of comforting him was to feed him yummy food and we were drinking more too.

kennethmgreen

I don't want to fail again...I just want to be healthy...and healthy I am not. I have become complacent in my day to day life as far as eating and exercise go.

Making a change is going to be very hard...especially when I'm afraid of failing again...

Any tips or tricks on how to do this and make it a success would be greatly appreciated, as well as encouragement along the way...

Failing is part of success. I doubt anyone in the world didn't fail along the way before being successful. Failure doesn't mean it's over, it means you need to figure out why you failed and not follow the path that led to it again. What's worse than failure? To not attempt to try.

THIS.

Failure is only permanent when you quit.

tabik30

Im on the same page. So frustrated with myself!

tabik30

I stated with little changes. You can do any drastic things and expect to be able to keep that. Add a mini challenge everyday, like drink 10 glasses of water today, or whatever. Like park farther when you go to the store. Use smaller plates when you serve food. It's the baby steps that will get you there. Also, don' t expect the weight to come off fast or overnight, they didn't come on overnight so don't expect them to come off overnight. Stay true to yourself and conscious of your decisions. It's not about cutting everything is about making good food choices 85% of the time. Good luck on your journey, stay motivated!!

Great Advice!

solpwr

A couple of important take aways in the comments here.

Many people's personalities look at the goal, and find joy in the OPPORTUNITY for success. Others look at the goal and find joy in the REALIZATION of success.

If you are like me, the first one mentioned, we can see in our mind's eye the success we hope to have, but never work out the strategy to get there. The metaphorical Nuts and Bolts. But you can lay out the strategy for success.

Lay out the strategy. For instance: I'm going to change my approach from temporary to permanent. I'm going to adopt a lifestyle that I can sustain until the day I die. Success will be defined by how I did today at adhering to my "Goal Lifestyle". And that will be the same as tomorrow.

That "Goal Lifestyle" should contain the flexibility to have a bad day or even a week or TWO. But that's where it stops.

The biggest thing: Log your calories, ingested and expended. Period. You must do this. Just like keeping a check book and paying your bills. You will ruin your financial future if you don't do this. You will ruin your physical future if you don't log calories (the measurement of your bodies' fuel).

Adhere to the little things one day at a time. Focus on the mechanics of your "Goal Lifestyle" for just that day. Even one component, if you meet that one. Build on that. Do it for 3 weeks. Its now easy, do another one. Build on any success.

The next biggest thing: Its more than a diet. This is MyFitnessPal, not MyDietPal. Being better physically means you must be active. If you have a physical job (server at a restaurant, construction worker) you are active already. If not, you must find ways to increase activity. Avoid close parking, elevators. Walk instead of drive. Find ways. Exercise. Find a sport. Some like me who are now addicted to cycling first became a cyclist simply to lose weight.

Quit focusing on that "ideal you" you see in your mind's eye. Quit that "all or nothing" approach that makes you feel like a failure when you don't hit every target that you've laid out in your present method.

Just focus on being better today than you were yesterday. Each little component is success. And if you have a bad day, in the long run, it doesn't matter. Your new "Goal Lifestyle" is for the rest of your life.

That's been my approach.

mymelody_78

You can do it! 15 lbs is amazing and a great start. Just be ready for it. I changed the way that I was thinking, instead of I have messed up today and I give up, I think, I was not too good today but tomorrow will be better. Every little bit helps. All the logging helps, even when it it bad, you ate the calories and not logging doesn't mean that you didn't eat it. Learn from it, next time you will not eat as much. We are here to support you can message me any time! I am having a hard time now but I am trying to change my thinking and remind myself how long I have come. You need to realize you have done a lot too! Also, success stories are my favorite and so motivational!

manjingirl

I don't want to fail again...I just want to be healthy...and healthy I am not. I have become complacent in my day to day life as far as eating and exercise go.

Making a change is going to be very hard...especially when I'm afraid of failing again...

Any tips or tricks on how to do this and make it a success would be greatly appreciated, as well as encouragement along the way...

If today you eat healthy foods and take a walk, then today you are healthy. Being healthy is not something to achieve in the future, it's right now.

So measure your success by this each day. Did I eat some foods that are good for me? Did I get some exercise?